I can safely say, that without doing even the slightest bit of research, the Internet contains the following advice from at least a handful of people:

If you’re shopping at Target, don’t wear a red shirt.

Now, I realize that not everyone has a connection to the Internet, but surely these sage words have also been transmitted through our culture’s rich and vibrant oral tradition.

Yet still, when I visit our local Super Target, which one would assume is only populated by superintelligent supershoppers, I swear that half the customers are wearing red.

To these people, I implore you:

Note: There is one exception to this rule. If you intentionally wear red so you can hover around a busy aisle, sporadically adjusting items on their shelves and looking somewhat busy, for the sole purpose of saying, “I don’t work here” when shoppers come to you asking for help, by all means wear red.

Asshole.