Hi, here’s an initial list of items, that, while I’ll probably never have the resources, desire or inclination to follow through on, doesn’t mean *you* shouldn’t.

1. Candy Conspiracy Blog
Create a blog which engages in careful, ongoing analysis of the conspiracy of the candy companies to gradually shrink the size of candy bars.

I get angry whenever I pick up a Snickers or a bag of M&M’s, and it’s noticeably smaller than one I got several months prior.

In the back of my mind, I’m always thinking, I am going to save this goddamn wrapper, so I have concrete proof of this maneuvering by these candy-pushers. Of course, I never save the wrapper.

I know Andy Rooney has done this kind of thing with coffee, but screw him.

2. Celebrity Hand Signs – Start a blog devoted to pictures of celebrities giving hand signs — the peace sign, the devil sign, the Latin Kings sign, etc.

3. Far From The Madding Boobs
Film a teenaged sex comedy where two horny adolescents addicted to Internet porn accidentally get sent back in time into the Victorian era, and spend most of their time trying to get a look at Victorian boobies. I mean, who doesn’t love Victorian boobies?

4. Hail To The Beef
Broadcast a reality show where the members of rock ‘n roll group Radiohead work at a Detroit McDonald’s. Wouldn’t you like Thom Yorke being harrassed about the amount of ice he put in a customer’s Diet Coke?

5. pure joy
A Feelies reunion already. C’mon.