The Matrix Reloaded sucked.

Let me back up.

My wife and I had our first kids, twins, in January of 2003. It was completely overwhelming, which probably does not come as a surprise.

I love going out to see movies, but the birth of our children put that pastime on hold.

The company I work for sent me to Sun Microsystems’ JavaOne Conference in May, 2003, in San Francisco. So, I reluctantly got on a plane and headed for California, temporarily leaving my family behind, as I grappled with semi-cutting-edge computer programming concepts, eating out, going to Amoeba Records on Haight Street, riding a rented bike across the Golden Gate Bridge to Sausalito, etc. Y’know. Work stuff.

One of the things I made sure I did while I was out there was see a movie. The Matrix Reloaded seemed as good a choice as any. Whoa! The cinema near my hotel had an IMAX theater! I had never been to an IMAX movie! It’s like a movie but bigger!

Now, I’m not a scientist of any kind, but based on the limited empirical evidence I have collected, if you see a sucky movie in a theater, it will exponentially suck on an IMAX screen.

I was so pissed off after seeing The Matrix Reloaded that I seriously thought about writing an entire script to replace the godawful story I had just witnessed. Now, I like the first Matrix just fine — it was a pretty good film, not the best I have ever seen, but passable. I just want you to know this so this rewriting idea of mine isn’t construed as any kind of fan fiction. Corrective fiction is probably a more appropriate term.

The bile in my heart eventually subsided, as did my desire to write a whole goddamned script.

Instead of a full script, I’m just going to give you the bare minimum of the plot for my better idea.

Mistakes/Problems in the movie as it is

Problems In The Real World
I thought one of the bigger mistakes of The Matrix Reloaded is that you start out already in the last human city, Zion, something that was only mentioned in the first movie. The filmmakers wasted some suspense they could have generated in a journey to get to the city. And in the opening scenes of this piece o’ crap, you’re in stupid Zion having your time wasted getting introduced to all these lame-ass secondary characters that no one gives a damn about.

Problems In The Matrix
At the end of the first Matrix, Neo can fly. So, he’s pretty much Superman at the opening of Reloaded. Superman is the one of the more boring things in pop culture, being virtually indestructible and all.

My Better Idea

In my idea for The Matrix Reloaded, there will be two parallel story arcs, one in the real world and one in the Matrix.

Story Arc In The Real World
The story arc in the real world consists of Neo’s ship and crew attempting to reach Zion. Neo’s crew are the only humans you see during the majority of the film. NO JADA PINKETT-SMITH.

Now, in my idea, Zion isn’t so easy to reach. Maybe its location changes from time-to-time — maybe it’s a somewhat mobile city to fool the machines. How does Neo’s crew locate Zion? Through a series of clues placed within the Matrix. Which brings us to….

Story Arc In The Matrix
It’s a scavenger hunt in the Matrix for these clues. I’m not sure how I would work the scavenger hunt, but it couldn’t be much worse than what was happening in the Matrix in the sucky original version of Reloaded.

And here’s another thing. The opening scene of my version of the movie would have Neo flying. All of the sudden, some sort of visual distortion or blip would occur, and Neo plummets to the ground. The machines are adjusting the physical laws of the Matrix to combat Neo’s mastery over it.

During the course of the film, the physical laws in the Matrix get reloaded from time to time, and Neo and his crew have to adjust to the changes in order to survive. This reloading could escalate as the film progresses, and result in more and more drastic physical disruptions — changes in gravity, physics, etc. It would be kind of cool that all people oblivious to the fact they are in the Matrix would be affected by the changes in physical laws, but would be unaware something was amiss.

This reloading of physical laws also gets rid of the problem of Neo being Superman — he’s now more vulnerable.

This stuff happening in the Matrix allows me to even keep the original sequel’s title, as the Matrix *is* being reloaded in order to thwart Neo’s’ powers.

The Ending
I haven’t fully fleshed out the ending of my version, but I have a pretty good idea as to how it would play out. Just as Neo and his crew are trying to figure out where Zion is, the machines are also trying to ascertain its location in order to destroy it.

When Neo gets the final clue and reaches Zion, the machines are, through his efforts, also tipped off to the location of Zion. The last line of the movie — “They’re coming.”

Which brings us to the third movie, which I may or may not indulge/bore you with in a subsequent post.

PEACE OUT