This post is self-referential.
Monthly Archives: July 2007
I’m Not Exactly Sure How This Is Going To Work, But…
Well, I think I’m going to have quite a bit of fun with my Beast Of Berwyn choose your own adventure story.
I’ll be gradually fleshing out the story as people make different choices via the comments fields.
One thing that I’m intentionally doing is burying all new posts tied to this story in my archives, so they won’t be showing up as new posts, and become distracting to people who aren’t following the story, and I won’t give away plot points to people who are, etc.
The problem is, I’m not sure the mechanism I should use to alert people that the story has had some more parts added to it. I guess I’ll just see what works as time progresses.
Either way, I’m adding a permanent link on the right side of the blog, to go with my Character Actor Adoptions and Two Buck Schmuck links.
Who’s In Charge Here?
We’re proud to start yet another fine feature at this esteemed blog — Who’s In Charge Here?
The goal — ascertain a band’s leader by analyzing one of their publicity photos.
First up:
Band: The Number Twelve Looks Like You
Genre: Hardcore
Website:http://myspace.com/tntllu
The Verdict:
The Beast Of Berwyn: A Choose Your Own Blogging-Oriented Adventure
Hi, with this post (and without much prior thought), I so start a choose your own adventure story, The Beast Of Berwyn.
Disclaimer: Any resemblance between the characters herein and real persons living or otherwise is mostly coincidental.
So begins,
THE BEAST OF BERWYN
You, celebrated blogger Arny Crankowicz, sit in your well-furnished library, composing a post describing the efficacy of squirrel saliva in combatting paralysis in your celebrated blog, “No Blarney Arny”.
Suddenly, a woman’s shriek pierces the night, followed by three gunshots.
Do you…
Apologies
I was reading some miscellaneous articles and posts about the Iraq War, then shortly after glanced at my gasoline post. Wow, I thought, what dick wrote that?
It just struck me as kind of obnoxious.
I post about lots of pointless things, and don’t have any problem doing so, and I know that many bloggers who write very savvy political commentary have no problem also posting risque pictures of Scarlett Johansson — which is perfectly fine, mind you, when occasionally supplemented with pictures of Carla Gugino, Thora Birch or Adrienne Barbeau (long live brunettes!).
But, posting a little “consumer annoyance” trifle about gasoline when the Iraq War drags on and on, it just seemed a little beyond the pale to me.
So, I’m sorry.
Seventeen And Counting
An update from Splotchy’s Orphanage for Underappreciated Actors ™:
We have encouraging news!
As of this writing, seventeen actors have been placed!
Many thanks to the families who have opened their hearts and their homes.
We have come so far, yet still have a long road to travel.
Here are but a few of our actors that still need to find a loving home.
Cheer Up, Buckaroos
To my knowledge, George W. Bush has not done the following during his current term of office:
1) Started a nuclear war
2) Publicly flagellated a hobo
3) Quoted Martin Mull
4) Declared mustard a vegetable
5) Allowed creeping brush to overtake his ranch
6) Publicly fellated a hobo
7) Attended a Fugazi show
8) Discovered the secret of immortality and unlimited terms of Presidential office
I was going to make a list of 10 items, but the rest of the things I came up with he in fact has done.
Cheer up, cheer up, cheer up, and make the world a better place.
I Just Can’t Say Famke
So, I was having lunch, and Famke Janssen came up in a discussion.
I just can’t say her first name.
I mean, I think I can pronounce it, but it’s so damn hard. It really is.
So I thought maybe I could scramble the letters a bit to make it easier on myself. Here’s some alternatives:
Mafke
Afkme
Fekma
Makef
Efmak
Bridget Moynahan
Reaching Out, Future Post Topics
Some nice things happened over the weekend.
Andy Aldridge dropped in to say “hi” on a post dedicated to my 3000th visitor. Hi, Andy! To see how great and loving a fanpage can be, check out his A Head Full Of Wishes (*especially* if’n you like the Galaxie 500 or the Luna — there be no greater site).
I also received an email from Stanley Demeski, drummer for the best band in the world saying, “Thanks for the kind words.” Hi, Stanley! And you’re welcome! And you’re wonderful! To hear what I am constantly pumping up, you can pick up a custom, burned CD of The Feelies’ second album, The Good Earth at Twin Tone Records.
However, if’n you don’t feel like spending money due to the high cost of gasoline, you can instead devote a portion of your reserved stock of psychic energy (yeah, I know you have been squirreling some away) to will a full-fledged Feelies reunion into existence. For God’s sakes, tell me if your efforts work! I don’t want to miss it.
This kind of feedback gives me not only encouragement to slosh my feelings, thoughts and opinions onto the Internet, but also to reach out and attempt to make contact with others.
Here’s a few of my “reaching out” ideas currently in the hopper.
1) I outlined my idea for an online application where users can supply a hummed snippet of a song, and others would then try to help the user identify the song. Well, it appears that this concept already has a name — Query by humming. In the cases I have found of this on the web (at NYU for example) the project seems more geared to having a machine doing the song recognition, rather than other people. I am going to try and contact someone at NYU regarding their project, asking them if it’s possible my idea could somehow be integrated with theirs. If a “humming library” could be gradually built up organically by people identifying other people’s song submissions, this could complement their machine-identification algorithm application nicely.
2) The recent movie I worked on that I mentioned briefly had a majority of its scenes shot at the lovely Portage Park Center For The Arts, which was formerly the Nebo Lutheran Church.
The church was deconsecrated before being converted into a neighborhood arts center. I find the concept of a sacred space fascinating, especially the unsacred-ing of it (even the terms of the sacred are interesting — consecrate, desecrate, deconsecrate). I asked the Portage Park Art Center’s director Jennifer La Civita what had to be done to deconsecrate the church prior to the handover, but she indicated that whatever ritual was done had already taken place when she got the building. I’d like to ask various denominations what actions have to take place for a sacred place to become a space of the profane.
3) David Patrick Kelly hopefully has my interview-by-letter racing towards his eager eyes.
Okay, ta-ta for now.
Pumping Fuel Slower For Your Contentment
The last few times I have filled up our crappy minivan Goldschläger, I noticed something that I can’t easily verify, but something I nevertheless firmly believe is happening.
It struck me that even though the volume of the $20.00 worth of gasoline I was pumping into the tank was significantly less than the amount of gas I would have gotten in return for $20.00 in the $1.50/gallon glory days, it still took roughly the same amount of time to dispense it.
What’s the explanation of this? Why should it take as much time to dispense 6.25 gallons today as it did to dispense 13 gallons a couple years ago?
I think there’s a simple answer. The gas stations are intentionally slowing down the flow of gasoline. For those people who have used a “Pay First” pump, you know that when it gets to the last dollar of your pre-paid gasoline, that the flow of gas slows to a trickle (presumably so you won’t be able to overshoot the amount of gas you paid for). So, we know the technology is there to control the flow of gas.
So, why would they be slowing the gas flow in general? Well, to prevent customers from getting angry. If you filled up your car with twenty dollars worth of gasoline and it took less than a minute to get the gas into your tank, the ri-goddamn-diculous amount of money you’re paying for your fuel becomes baldly apparent.
By stretching out the measly amount of gasoline flowing into automobiles, the appearance is given to consumers that they are actually getting something for their dollar.
So, they waste your time to prevent you from realizing you are wasting your money.
Think about this the next time you wait for your gas tank to slowly fill up with that $3.50 premium unleaded.