Harvey Keitel On Nudity

This and its sister post were inspired by SamuraiFrog. Blame him.

“I’ve always found it not only easy, but enjoyable. It’s necessary for us to reach out and I’m speaking for myself here. I certainly have a sense of responsibility to reach out to these people in the theatre who might look to someone like me for some guidance.” 1
— Harvey Keitel

1 I found this quote out-of-context on the Internet. I can only assume it is related to Keitel’s full-frontal nudity in such films as The Piano and The Bad Lieutenant.

Music To Read Lyrics By

The Gay Side Of Splotchy has been unceremoniously evicted from the jukebox on the upper right of this here blog.

Next up, I feel obliged to provide you with the songs I have been sporadically posting lyrics for. Why have I been posting lyrics from time to time?
[SHRUG]

If you don’t know the drill by now, go to the jukebox to start up the songs. The links below just take you to the lyrics. If you want to read along, you’d be best served by opening the links in a new window, so’s you don’t kill the song playing in your current window. Got it? Okay!

1. Camper Van Beethoven – Where The Hell Is Bill?
Just a nice silly song off their first album.

2. Bonnie Tyler – Total Eclipse Of The Heart
I had this goddamn song in my head, so I posted the lyrics. Now it’s in your head. How does it feel? I know, the lyrics aren’t complete. What am I to you, some sort of full-lyrics-posting man?

3. The Kinks – The Village Green Preservation Society
This song, ahh. It’s so much fun. I’d love to memorize it so I can sing along with it, but I prolly never will.

4. David Naughton – Makin’ It
I think when I posted the lyrics to this, I made a lot of people confused. This is the theme song from a short-lived disco sitcom starring David Naughton, who you might recognize from American Werewolf in London and some Dr. Pepper commercials from the 70’s. Mr. Naughton also sings this song. I never did actually see the show. I actually downloaded this song many moons ago from a newsgroup, where there was a competition to post the worst pop song ever written. I actually like this song a lot, but I have been known to have questionable tastes from time to time. You can judge the song for yourself.

5. Joy Division – Isolation
6. Jimmy Buffett – Cheeseburger In Paradise

I don’t know if anyone got what I was doing in this post, or if they did get it, thought it was funny. It made me laugh, so I guess that’s something. I felt like posting a song, then I thought I’d post Joy Division’s Isolation. I pasted in the lyrics, but they looked a little serious and depressing, and I wasn’t really bummed out at the time. So, I thought I’d cheer it up by interspersing lyrics from a Jimmy Buffett song. I found a picture of Buffett lookin’ right, Joy Division singer Ian Curtis lookin’ left, and the rest is blogging history, folks.

7. The Stooges – No Fun
If someone had a gun to your head and said, “Play me a song that is the best example of snotty-ass rock ‘n roll,” this song would likely save your life.

Happy Listening! Happy Reading!

Sweet, Sweet Empty Space


Psssssst! You! Yeah, you! The clever one!

Oh, you aren’t fooled by my seemingly empty post, are you?

You are one of the following:

1. After visiting my blog and noticing a conspicuously empty post, you decided to drag your mouse across the screen while holding down your mouse button, thus revealing this hidden text. Wow, that was pretty clever of you. I have doubts if I would have done what you just did. You rock.

2. You look at my blog via some sort of RSS feed reader (Google Reader, Bloglines, etc.). You are one of those genius blog reader type of people. You need your blog facts *now*, from all your blog sources, and you want it all in one place! So, my pitiful attempt to mask my text on my own blog fails miserably when faced with your powerful blog reader. Kudos to you!

So, whether you fit into #1 or #2, here’s what I would like you to do.

Please answer the following question in a comment on this post. Make no reference to the fact that you are answering a question put forth by the post, nor the fact that there is hidden text here. Just answer the question, and rest assured in the knowledge that you are oh so goddamn clever.

Now, the question (appropriately a space question, heh heh heh):
If you were offered a free ride on the next shuttle into space, would you go? Explain why or why not.

And Now I’d Like To Pass The Mic

Enclosed please find a small trip down memory lane, and a little freestyle blrapping.

blrapping – The art of rapping via a blog. Passing the figurative mic is encouraged. (not to be confused with blapping!)

Hey, I think I have coined a word that is more unpleasant to speak/hear than ‘blogging’! Kudos to me!

So, you may be happy to learn, I’m nearing the end of the musical novelties of Tim and myself. Shortly after we took the world by storm with our unique take on R.E.M., we turned our sights on the burgeoning world of rap. The song is definitely of its time — note the Tone Lōc-inspired “Lezzzzdoit” at the beginning.

We were actually trying to be funny at first, and then kind of liked how it was turning out, then tried to make the attempt a little more than half-assed (let’s say 3/4-assed).

Click on —> Bunkatania
Timeshare bider
Surrounded by spiders
And you always want to solve things
With your supercollider

Imminent danger
Everyone’s a stranger
And your only savior
Is away in a manger

Bunk is the word
So kick in the funk

Saturday drivers
Sunday survivors
And problems arise
From the reruns of MacGyver

Always been wishing
But your mind’s out fishing
And the guts of your goat
Have the hint of premonition

Bunk is the word
So kick in the funk-AY

Media hell shoot
They’re in cahoots
They make it easy
To be led by your manroot

Faceless ballet
Endless relay
You try to make sense
As you crawl down the hallway

You’ve got a word face
But it ain’t gonna last
Your future is present
And your present is past

Lewds
And Dudes
And Rudes
And Crudes
Take Their Broods
To Find Their Food
(Sears Roebuck Montgomery
Where they buy extra cutlery)

Bunk is the word
So kick in the funk
Bunk is the word
So kick in the funk-AY


Tim and I have a half-finished rap song we started recently. I think it’s actually turning out rather nice. We just have the backing tracks right now — haven’t done the rapping thang again, though we do have the beginnings of the lyrics written. I actually decided on a rap name for myself — King Lids. This was inspired by a visit to Burger King. But wait, stop! Allow me to introduce myself:

I’m King Lids
And I don’t wear a belt
I got more gold
Than Hanukkah gelt

Gold like onion rings
My rhymes are fatal
I grow rosemary, thyme
And hydroponic basil

And now I’d like to pass the mic, to my boy Tim, do anything you like!

Doctor Strange And Frank

So, one day I’m looking at what I can do with my blog, and see that it’s possible to associate a picture, an avatar, with my profile.

Without too much thought, I went and snagged a picture from one of my favorite comics, Frank, by Jim Woodring.


When I was a kid, a trade paperback collection of old 1960’s Dr. Strange comic books came into my possession. I was too young (well, technically unborn) to read these when they first came out, but this reprinted collection took a firm grip on my young imagination as soon as I laid my eyes on it.

There were two main Marvel superhero comic artists at the dawn of Marvel’s “Silver Age” in the early 60’s — Steve Ditko, who drew Spider-Man and Dr. Strange, and Jack Kirby, who drew pretty much everything else. Apart from the fact that Spider-Man was my favorite superhero as a child, I gravitated more to the quirkier style of Steve Ditko.

His drawings of the early Spider-Man were wonderfully executed, but looking at Dr. Strange, there was truly some freaky stuff going on. Through the course of its initial Lee-Ditko run, Dr. Strange spent many a day in other dimensions. I have a sneaking suspicion that Ditko was given quite a bit of artistic license to invent these wonderful worlds. Here are just a few samples of some of his otherworldly artwork.


I thought (and still think) this stuff is amazing.


My brother has been into comics much longer than me (he’s also a talented cartoonist in his own right), and has always been interested in, for a lack of a better word, “alternative” comics.

For Christmas or his birthday, I’d usually pick up an underground or non-mainstream comic for him — for example, something by local Chicago artist Chris Ware. I noticed a Frank book in a visit to a comic store, and snatched it up for my brother. Now, I have to admit that I did not immediately wrap this gift. I read it from cover to cover.

It was reminiscent of the Dr. Strange comics of my youth in that it showed an incredible, imaginative world, but to me it seemed so much richer. The artwork was amazing. The stories were different — the recurring characters were enigmatic, ever shifting. There was no dialogue. The stories seemed to bypass one’s matter-of-factness part of the brain, plugging directly into the unconsciousness. Sometimes the stories were whimsical, sometimes funny, sometimes quite jarringly disturbing, and sometimes they were all these combined.

The stories in Frank had (and still have) a profound effect on me. Have you ever been exposed to some form of art, music, where after you have experienced it, you find it hard to believe you went your whole life unaware of it? That’s pretty much what these stories are to me.

Note: the image below represents a page within the context of a larger story.

Here’s a large sampling of Jim Woodring’s work, much of it of the beloved enigmatic cat Frank (just follow the art show links, why don’tcha?).

Woodring also has a blog which he sporadically posts the odd piece or notion.

I actually managed to contact Mr. Woodring, inquiring whether I could continue to use the image I [ahem] appropriated for my avatar. He was very gracious and said it was okay.

I’d highly recommend you give his stuff a look-see. It’s the bee’s knees, dears.