Monthly Archives: August 2007
Seven Non-Mouthwatering Uses Of The Word Fudge
1. “Fudge the numbers”
2. Former Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge
3. Tainted fudge
4. The “adult-oriented” film Chocolate Fudge Cream Pie 4
5. The Judy Blume book Superfudge
6. Female bodybuilder Georgia Fudge
7. Canfield’s Diet Chocolate Fudge Soda
Green Monkey Music Project
In an attempt to achieve maximum synergy with beth’s popular Friday mix tape feature, I’d like to announce a new endeavor in which I hope I can interest at least three people in taking part.
Some Background:
There are a few guys at work (I’ll call them sb, mf and ag) that have musical tastes that overlap with my own. We got to talking at one point, and one of us came up with the idea of doing a collective mix. We thought it would be cool if each of us came up with an idea for a mix, then the other three came up with songs that would fit in with that person’s mix.
For absolutely no reason whatsoever, I dubbed this the “Green Monkey Music Project”. You might think I’m sucking up to some apes or green amphibians I could mention, but that’s honestly what I called it. The image on this post was also created for the original project.
The Concept:
Here’s the basic rules of this new endeavor:
1. Each person will have an allotment of 20 minutes for each project. You can go under 20 minutes, but try not to go too far over. Try to get at least 10 minutes worth of music.
2. The originator of the project will set down any rules of the project that need to be followed.
3. The project originator’s songs will come first in their respective project.
4. At this point, if you want to be part of this project, I’m just asking for people to provide song titles. Let me worry about obtaining the songs you come up with. If I can’t provide them, I might ask you for the song if you have it.
5. Once a project is completed, I’ll post the project’s songs on this here blog.
Some Examples:
We ended up only doing one round of these mixes, but it was a helluva lot of fun. Here’s the results of our efforts.
Green Monkey’s Anatomy [sb]
Rules
========
1. Song titles must include a body part, like ‘finger,’ ‘kidney,’ or ‘artery,’ for example.
2. The body part need not necessarily be human or simian.
3. The body part should not be part of another word. For example, you can’t use ‘ear’ from ‘earth’ to satisfy the requirement.
Songs
========
01 – David Bowie – Sweet Head [sb]
02 – Les Fleur De Lys – Mud in Your Eye [sb]
03 – Fun Boy Three – Our Lips Are Sealed [sb]
04 – Johnny Thunders – You Can’t Put Your Arms Round A Memory [sb]
05 – The Come Ons – Red Lips And Fingertips [sb]
06 – The Cramps – Rockin’ Bones [sb]
07 – Sun 60 – Out Of My Head [ag]
08 – Superchunk – Pulled Muscle [ag]
09 – The Replacements – Tommy Gets His Tonsils Out [ag]
10 – Bette Serveert – Leg [ag]
11 – Oingo Boingo – Skin [ag]
12 – Golden Smog – He’s a Dick [mf]
13 – Beck – Cold Brains [mf]
14 – The Flaming Lips – Chewin the Apple of Your Eye [mf]
15 – The Flaming Lips – You Have to Be Joking (Autopsy of the Devil’s Brain) [mf]
16 – The Flaming Lips – Slow Nerve Action [mf]
17 – Beastie Boys – Shake Your Rump[splotchy]
18 – Echo and the Bunnymen – Heads Will Roll[splotchy]
19 – The Velvet Underground – Andy’s Chest[splotchy]
20 – Lambchop – my face your ass[splotchy]
21 – Robyn Hitchcock – The Bones In The Ground[splotchy]
22 – The Feelies – Raised Eyebrows[splotchy]
23 – Ritchie Valens – Ooh! My Head [sb-bonus]
Common Ground [mf]
Rules
========
Songs by adult artists aimed at adults but also loved by kids. You can ride in the car and play this and the kids actually listen and enjoy, maybe even sing along, might even get requested by the kids. No lyrics you’d rather not explain. Funny words and situations OK.
I could have filled this whole thing with White Stripes so if someone else is hesitating adding more becuase I put in two, don’t, the White Stripes seem to have struck a chord with my kids.
Songs
========
01 – My Bloody Valentine – When You Sleep (dance party song) [mf]
02 – The White Stripes – Hotel Yorba [mf]
03 – The Breeders – Full on Idle [mf]
04 – The Breeders – Huffer [mf]
05 – Eels – Flyswatter [mf]
06 – Eels – I Like Birds [mf]
07 – The White Stripes – We’re Going to Be Friends [mf]
08 – Jonathan Richman – Back In Your Life[splotchy]
09 – De La Soul – The Magic Number[splotchy]
10 – The Breeders – Saints[splotchy]
11 – Talking Heads – Pulled Up[splotchy]
12 – Feelies – Doin’ It Again[splotchy]
13 – Wire – Outdoor Miner[splotchy]
14 – John Cale – Bamboo Floor[splotchy]
15 – The Apples in Stereo – Signal In The Sky [sb]
16 – The Ramones – Spiderman [sb]
17 – Komeda – Boogie Woogie_Rock’N’Roll [sb]
18 – Buddy Holly – Rave On [sb]
19 – The Von Bondies – Cmon Cmon [sb]
20 – The Ramones – Sheena Is A Punk Rocker [sb]
21 – Pizzicato Five – Twiggy Twiggy [sb]
22 – Marc Bolan & T. Rex – Ride A White Swan [sb]
Girls Girls Girls [ag]
Rules
========
1. Song titles must include a female name.
2. No duplicates allowed. A duplicate is a name spelled the same as another name. For instance, Anne and Ann are two distinct names.
Songs
========
01 – The Left Banke – Walk Away Renee [ag]
02 – The Hollies – Carrie-Anne [ag]
03 – TripleFastAction – Anna (Get Your Gun) [ag]
04 – The Muffs – Oh Nina [ag]
05 – Poster Children – If You See Kay [ag]
06 – Concrete Blonde – Tomorrow, Wendy [ag]
07 – Nirvana – Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle [mf]
08 – Jeff Kelly – Kissing Alma Mahler [mf]
09 – The Dandy Warhols – Cool as Kim Deal [mf]
10 – The Rolling Stones – Sweet Virginia [mf]
11 – Bob Dylan – Corrina, Corrina[splotchy]
12 – The Velvet Underground – Stephanie Says[splotchy]
13 – King Missile (Dog Fly Religion) – Margaret’s Eyes[splotchy]
14 – Ramones – Judy Is A Punk[splotchy]
15 – Magnet – Julie[splotchy]
16 – Neil Diamond – Cherry, Cherry[splotchy]
17 – Suicide – Cheree[splotchy]
18 – Stereolab – Cybele’s Reverie [sb]
19 – Scissor Sisters – Laura [sb]
20 – The Kinks – Lola [sb]
21- The Reverend Horton Heat -Jezebel [sb]
22 – Frank Black – I Heard Ramona Sing [sb]
No Words [splotchy]
Rules
========
1. Songs must have no discernible words. Oohs, ahhs and humming are okay, even whistling, but… no words.
2. No jazz or classical instrumental songs, if you can help it. C’mon, that’s just too darn easy.
Songs
========
01 – Dead Milkmen – KKSuck2 [splotchy]
02 – The Police – The Other Way Of Stopping [splotchy]
03 – Young Marble Giants – Zebra Trucks [splotchy]
04 – Duke Reid Group – Soul Style [splotchy]
05 – Luna – Egg Nog [splotchy]
06 – Ennio Morricone – Farewell to Cheyenne [splotchy]
07 – The Residents – Theme For An American Tv Show [splotchy]
08 – Bo Diddley – Untitled Instrumental [splotchy]
09 – Rock-a-teens – Woo-Hoo [sb]
10 – Bill Justis – Raunchy [sb]
11 – Flat Duo Jets – Sing, Sing, Sing [sb]
12 – The In Crowd – Ramsey Lewis Trio [sb]
13 – Booker T. And The MGs – Hip-Hug-Her [sb]
14 – The Greenhornes – Pigtails And Kneesocks [sb]
15 – Los Lobos – Wrong Man Theme [ag]
16 – Bob Mould – Sunspots [ag]
17 – Elvis Costello – Stalin Malone [ag]
18 – Aimee Mann – Nothing Is Good Enough (Instrumental) [ag]
19 – The Smiths – Oscillate Wildly [ag]
20 – Goo Goo Dolls – Kevin’s Song [ag]
21 – The Pixies – Cecilia Ann [ag]
22 – The White Stripes – Aluminum [mf]
23 – My Bloody Valentine – Touched [mf]
24 – Pelican – Aurora Borealis [mf]
25 – Bardo Pond – Lull [mf]
26 – Pearl Jam – Brother [mf]
27 – The Hollywood Persuaders – Drums A-Go-Go[splotchy-bonus]
28 – Dave ‘Baby’ Cortez – The Happy Organ[splotchy-bonus]
29 – Clinton – Sing Hosanna[splotchy-bonus]
30 – Jonathan Richman – Egyptian Reggae[splotchy-bonus]
A Promise To Coaster Punchman
For some reason, a post I read on Coaster Punchman’s blog over a month ago has stuck in my mind.
1. I’ve always hated the word “balls” in reference to the male anatomy. I find that word to be incredibly vulgar. I don’t know why.
I’m going to try and use the word “balls” less, but I would appreciate a replacement word.
An Opportunity For Mischief
Many moons ago, before the days when I would compulsively check my visitor stats for my blog in SiteMeter, I would compulsively check the statistics for my website, Splotchy.com.
This website has not been updated by me in years, and these days I rarely check the stats there. But, one recent day I thought I’d check them out.
I noticed that one particular image seemed to be getting a fair amount of hits:
The hits were coming from a MySpace page of self-proclaimed hip-hop, religious rapper G. House. It turns out that he is using this image of mine as wallpaper for his site.
Now, when you’re putting images on your site that you yourself are not hosting, you could find yourself at the mercy of the person who *is* hosting the image. Why it was just earlier this year that John McCain fell victim to an image-swapping prank.
So here, I’m looking for suggestions. I was thinking about doing an image switcheroo — uploading a new image to my website to replace the above “Guest House” image. Nothing too terribly mean, just something mischievous. What do you think would be a nice wallpaper for Mr. G. House?
UPDATE:
Okay, I uploaded Flannery Alden’s suggestion in her comment to my website. May the hip-hop God have mercy on my soul.
Summer Is Reeeaaaaady When You Are
Snotty? Check.
Does it rock? Check.
Is it about fairs? Check.
The Breeders – Saints
I Heart Your Blog
dguzman was kind enough to leave a comment on my Lotus Notes post.
I’m not exactly sure how she found my blog, but I am very thankful she did.
She’s got a very lovely blog, beginning to bird, which I visited after reading her comment.
I was particularly drawn to a recent post containing pictures of her property’s flora and fauna. Check out the pic of the caterpillar with wasp eggs on its back.
Nifty!
Anyways, dguzman, I’m happy you came here so I could then become aware of your wonderful posts.
I Heart Your Blog!
The Illinois State Fair Is Coming! The Illinois State Fair Is Coming!
Being originally from the esteemed capital of Illinois, Springfield, and with familial ties still there, I have a tradition of going down for a weekend visit in August.
I usually go there during one of the weekends of the Illinois State Fair (it runs for 9-10 days).
Often times I won’t actually go to the fair during my visit, as at this time of year in Springfield it’s usually hot enough to liquefy metal.
But, I think I might go this year. I have a neat idea of a little photography series. Plus, they have these hot bags of sugary donuts that I thoroughly enjoy.
My wife and kids are actually driving down to Springfield on Friday morning. I am going to take an Amtrak train out of Union Station after work, which I am actually excited about.
The train goes through some really beautiful industrial landscapes as it makes its way out of Chicago.
If you want more information regarding all the glory that is the Illinois State Fair (tractor pulls and all), click here.
FOR THOSE OF YOU WITH BALLS:
The Illinois State Fair actually has an intro page which eventually routes you to the above link. The intro page is actually what comes up as the first result when you search for “Illinois State Fair” on Google. If you visit the intro page, I salute your ballsiness. You’ll understand what I mean after you visit (hint: you might want to plug in your headphones).
My Wife Does Not Support This Message
My wife saw my valiant, courageous attempt at generating traffic/comments at my new blog and said one word.
“Pathetic.”
Really, you should visit my blog. It’s schmazzatastic!
Who Wants A Nickel?
I’ll give a shiny imaginary nickel for every unique vote cast in each of the first ten band entries of my new blog, Who’s In Charge Here?.
But wait! There’s more!
If you refer another person to the WICH blog, and they in turn cast at least one vote in one of the first ten entries, you’ll get a crisp, nonexistent two-dollar bill, adorned with a picture of a nekkid man or woman drawn by Splotchy (your choice!).
The first entry has already ended, and the second is underway, so get going! This made-up money is looking for a pocket to jump into! Could that pocket be yours?
Courage!