Monthly Archives: September 2007
I’m Not Buying It
I’m just not buying it.
Happy September 11th, everybody.
Unconnected Tuesdays
A whip
A rotary phone
The Road Warrior, The Musical – You Talk To Me
Another entry in my new musical — The Road Warrior.
“You Talk To Me”
Sung by: Max
Description: Max gives the villagers a way out of their hellish existence.
You say Lord Humungus
Treats you like a fungus
You tire of this mortal coil
And the fruit for which you toil
You wanna get out of here
You talk to me
Before your oil
Soaks the soil
And your life
Ends at a biker’s knife
You wanna get out of here
You talk to me
You’re afraid, that’s expected
Our whole world has been infected
By the hate and the lust
And the endless miles of dust
You wanna get out of here
You talk to me
Two days ago
I saw a tanker
It’s a ship
To pull up anchor
You wanna get out of here
You talk to me
Never Anger A Brooklynite
Beckeye shot me what I can safely describe as a series of “goddamned hard questions” in response to my interview with her.
I was sitting on them for a little bit, but I gotsta just publish my answers.
1. I’ve been dying to pick up this book, “This is Your Brain on Music: The Science of a Human Obsession.” It’s a scientific look at how the human brain processes music and attempts to explain why certain pieces of music prompt such visceral reactions in certain people. Without the benefit of a Ph.D. in neuroscience, how would you explain the mysterious hold that music can have over so many of us?
You see, *this* is why I have taken so long to answer your interview questions. My God. I get overwhelmed just thinking about this. Music and its relationship to me is a complete mystery. My reaction to music is almost primal. I’m definitely connecting to it more than on an intellectual level, even more than an emotional level. I am baffled, and unable to answer.
I’m sorry. I just don’t know. It’s like food, water, sun. It washes over me, and I flourish.
2. I have a hard time listening to “summertime” music once summer is over. Now that September is here, what playlist would you suggest to get everyone in the mood for Fall?
Funny you should ask! Volume 6 of the Green Monkey Music Project is going to be called “I Can’t Wait For Halloween”.
Other than Halloween, I think country, or music with a country tinge – Johnny Cash, George Jones, Carter Family, Grateful Dead, etc. – fits nicely as the air gets chillier.
3. You say that you love fart jokes. Have you heard the one about Britney, Roman Polanski and the dramatic chipmunk on a cruise ship? I haven’t either. Please make it up now.
So much pressure! Okay, here goes.
On a European cruise, a drunk, bald Britney Spears with a bushy young chipmunk on her head staggers up to an inebriated Roman Polanski lounging in a deck chair. Britney slurs, “Mustr Pulaski, I’d lurve to be in one ub you mooveees…I do ANYting.”
Polanski, looks her up and down. “You’re a little old for me,” Polanksi replies, “But I might have a role for your sexy young chipmunk.”
Then everyone spontaneously farts.
4. While looking through your archives, I actually busted my gut upon seeing that photo of Satanic Al Pacino on “Inside the Actor’s Studio.” I have no health insurance. Are you gonna pay for that?
Don’t you know there is no insurance in the US that covers gutbusting? What, you think we have socialized medicine here?
5. What are your favorite slang terms for male and female genitalia?
Note: I don’t recall ever actually using these words in conversation (polite or otherwise).
Male: Noodle
Female: Booger
Hypothetical Quotes By People of Distinction
e.e. cummings: “CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?”
Bringing People Together
I always keep an eye as to what brings people to my site — I’m just pathetic that way, I guess.
Lately there have been so many fun ways people have stumbled here through their perverted, amoral searches that I just thought I’d share them.
“rasputina drummer gay”
“boys town transvstite”
“ass bubs”
“what does a whale poop look like”
And this is my current favorite:
“laverne shirley chunky seater”
Mmmm… chunky seater.
GMMP Volume 5: No Speak English Track Listing
I have really enjoyed the last four volumes of the Green Monkey Mix Project, but I’m extra-special excited about this one.
I was holding off on doing this one, worried that I would have trouble finding participants with tastes of the international persuasion.
My worries were unfounded!
Here are the songs which will soon be available for your listening pleasure.
01 – Buckwheat Zydeco – Drivin’ Old Grey [chris]
02 – Ibrahim Ferrer – Boliviana [chris]
03 – Fred Buscaglione – Porfirio Villarosa [chris]
04 – St. Moses Choir of South Africa – Halefa Tshele Wetswe [chris]
05 – Los Fabulosos Cadillacs – Vasos Vacios [chris]
06 – They Might Be Giants – Greek #3 [chris]
07 – Paolo Conte – Genova Per Noi [chris]
08 – Edith Piaf – Hymne a l’amour [chris]
09 – Lassie Singers – Hamburg [splotchy]
10 – Gilberto Gil – Sai Do Sereno [splotchy]
11 – Pugh Rogefeldt – Små Lätta Moln [splotchy]
12 – Michel Polnareff – Le Desert N’est Plus En Afrique [splotchy]
13 – Faust – Psalter [splotchy]
14 – Boubacar Traoré – Samba [splotchy]
15 – Tom Zé – Ui! (Voce Inventa) [splotchy]
16 – Ohio Express – Yummy Yummy Yummy (Italian) [splotchy]
17 – DJ Krush – Le Temps (with DJ Cam) [manx]
18 – Happy End – Natsu Nandesu [manx]
19 – Seu Jorge – Rebel Rebel [manx]
20 – Mouse On Mars – Lasergum [manx]
21 – Bonga – Mona Ki Ngi Xiça [manx]
22 – Trey Parker & Matt Stone – Let’s Fighting Love [manx]
23 – Caetano Veloso – Terra [manx]
24 – Aphex Twin – Windowlicker [manx]
25 – Shakira – Ojos Así [pj]
26 – Shakira Feat. Alejandro Sanz – La Tortura [pj]
27 – Amr Diab – Habibe – Ya Nour El Ain [pj]
28 – La Bomba by Ricky Martin [pj]
29 – Tarkan – Simarik [pj]
30 – Les Nubians – Makeda [pj]
31 – Umoja – Unomathemba [pj]
32 – Pizzicato Five – Sweet Soul Revue [samuraifrog]
33 – Ludivine Sagnier – Papa t’es plus dans l’coup [samuraifrog]
34 – Seu Jorge – O Astronaute De Marmore (Starman) [samuraifrog]
35 – Jacques Brel – Amsterdam [samuraifrog]
36 – Milla – In a Glade [samuraifrog]
37 – Petula Clark – Downtown (German) [samuraifrog]
38 – Ruben Blades – Buscando Guayaba [samuraifrog]
An Offer To Interview A Possibly Shady Character
I recently saw a comment on Becca’s blog from a certain mike asking Becca for an interview, which indicated she could complete by visiting a website which I won’t link to here (don’t worry, you can find the site via mike’s profile if’n you really want to).
Today, I received an email from a certain Mike Thomas asking me for an interview as well.
I have participated in several interviews of late, but these have been conducted with people that I am at least somewhat familiar with. This particular request was out-of-the-blue, and I’m not sure if it’s entirely on the level.
So, prior to answering Mr. Thomas’ request for an interview, I would like him to answer my questions first. Just answer the questions in a comment on this post, if you would, mike. I’ll then gladly submit my answers to your own interview.
Thanks. Here are my questions:
1. What’s up with this site of yours? What is its main purpose? Revenue generation? Cool blog locator? Cure to societal ills?
2. How did you find my blog?
3. How many blogs have you solicited for “interviews”? Is it in the tens? Hundreds? Thousands?
4. What has been the general reaction to your requests for interviews? Positive? Negative? Indifferent?
5. Are you a robot, or are you a living person with feelings, wants and dreams? Do you employ robots on a regular basis in the service of your site?
I am submitting the URL of this interview to Mr. Thomas via two email addresses I was able to find for him.
Hope to hear from you soon!
UPDATE:
As you can see from my comments, Mike did indeed consent to my interview. So, I kept my word to be interviewed by him. The results are here:
http://bloginterviewer.com/politics/i-splotchy-splotchy
The interview page has a snapshot of my blog, which coincidentally enough captured this particular post, which refers to the interview I was asked to submit. As a result, I believe Bloginterviewer and this site have created a feedback loop which will destroy the Internet, if not the world.
It’s been nice knowin’ ya.
Calling All Bloggers
I’ve mentioned before that I spent some time down in St. Bernard’s Parish, gutting houses as a volunteer through Habitat For Humanity.
Bubs drove, and some relatives of MizBubs and myself went along for the ride.
When we got down there we joined up with other people to form “TeamBlack14”, whose mission was to gut houses in the parish. Unlike the 9th ward, which suffered the full brunt of the levee breach caused by Hurricane Katrina, many houses in St. Bernard’s Parish were still structurally sound, and could be safely rebuilt.
However, everything *in* the houses was ruined. Our group’s task was to gut houses there, hauling out all the furniture, appliances, carpeting, drywall, you name it. If something wasn’t too damaged, we would set it aside in a pile for the homeowner. The amount we could save from an entire house would usually fit into a two foot square area.
In the several houses we were able to clean out over the course of a week, we met either the homeowner, or a close relative of the homeowner. They were all very kind, and good-natured, and really appreciated people helping them out.
The group was an interesting mix. Besides us, there was a retired couple from Brooklyn, who were in the midst of a cross-country road trip across the United States, devoting a week of their trip to volunteering. There was a lawyer from Brentwood, California, accompanied by her teenage son. There was a student from Stanford University on his spring break. And there was a carpenter from my hometown, Springfield, Illinois.
It was a really powerful experience being down there, being a part of something positive, and it’s something I would really like to do again.
When I got back, I was really motivated to get people at my workplace involved in volunteering, but, as it so often happens with me, my good intentions don’t translate into action.
So, over a year later, I’ll try.
There is still plenty of work to be done in the New Orleans area, and Habitat For Humanity is still looking for volunteers.
I am planning on going down again the week of December 17th (the work week would cover Dec. 17 – Dec. 21). I thought I would ask people that read this to consider volunteering as well. I can do my best to answer any questions you have.
I’m not sure of all the logistics at this point, but I believe if we get enough people together going down the same week, we can all work together as a group in whatever capacity we are needed.
Here are some pics from last year’s effort:
TeamBlack14 (minus Bubs, who took the pic). Homeowner is second from left.
The same house, with its trash heaps we hauled out of the house
Bubs in front of another trash heap
TeamBlack14!
More information
New Orleans area Habitat For Humanity website
Construction Calendar for all the New Orleans Habitat for Humanity projects
UPDATE
If you’d rather not comment, but would like to discuss the project a bit more with me, tentatively discuss the possibilities of volunteering, etc., you can always email me. Thanks.
Also, it’s not obvious from my initial posting, but it’s not all twenty-four hour work. Every night after we put in a hard day’s gutting we went into town and had alcoholic beverages and deep-fried food. Mmmmm, fried pickles…