iSplotchy For Sale

Note: This post has been guest-written by Steve Jobs.

Hi all!

Steve Jobs here!

I have been privy to a truly amazing and awe-inspiring development, which I am delighted to share with you, the iSplotchy-adoring public.

The prototype for the iSplotchy, the objet d’art which laid the groundwork for the most wonderful technological innovation hitherto unseen by the unwashed masses, is available for purchase!

How appropriate that it was the Internet where the iSplotchy first made its large, thundering splash, and it is again the Internet where normal people (like you!) have a chance to claw for a piece of history.

Please be aware that this is an item without the features of the iSplotchy you may be familiar with. To the casual observer, it may appear as nothing more than a piece of concrete with a pipe in it.

Yes, to the casual observer — but not you! You are cultured and have traveled the world. I need not sell you on the merits of owning this unique and powerful treasure.

Bah! Enough talking! Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, the iSplotchy prototype!

Presenting The Battle Of The Sexes Mix!

Volume 10 of the Green Monkey Music Project is completed and available for download!

Special thanks to supermixologist Beth, who came through like the hero she is, and provided a large number of the songs for the mix!

If the participants of this mix want to discuss their own selections, please feel free to do so! I’ll put a pointer on this post if you end up posting about it on your own blog (or you could always just add comments here, I suppose).

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BATTLE OF THE SEXES!
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Rules and Theme Details

The Participants Discuss Their Selections:
Beckeye!
Moxie!
Lulu!
Splotchy!
Allen L.!
Barbara!

The Songs:

Ladies
01 – Darlene – Led Zeppelin [beckeye]
02 – Vicky Verky – Squeeze [beckeye]
03 – Blue Jean – David Bowie [beckeye]
04 – Hey Julie – Fountains of Wayne [beckeye]
05 – Always Claire – Knockout Drops [beckeye]
06 – Eleanor Rigby – The Beatles [distributorcap]
07 – Chelsea Morning – Joni Mitchell [distributorcap]
08 – Walk Away Renee – The Four Tops [distributorcap]
09 – Sad Lisa – Cat Stevens [distributorcap]
10 – Suite Judy Blue Eyes – Crosby Stills & Nash [distributorcap]
11 – Jenny (867-5309) – Tommy Tutone [flanneryalden]
12 – Maggie Mae – Rod Stewart [flanneryalden]
13 – Candy’s Room – Bruce Springsteen [flanneryalden]
14 – Donna – Ritchie Valens [flanneryalden]
15 – Sarah Smiles – Hall & Oates [flanneryalden]
16 – Mustang Sally – The Commitments [moxie]
17 – Pandora’s Box – Aerosmith [moxie]
18 – Meet Virginia – Train [moxie]
19 – Jolene – Dolly Parton [moxie]
20 – Amanda – Boston [moxie]
21 – Valerie Loves Me – Material Issue [lulu]
22 – Sweet Jane – Cowboy Junkies [lulu]
23 – Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes) – Edison Lighthouse [lulu]
24 – Cecilia Ann – Pixies [lulu]
25 – Jamie’s Crying – Van Halen [lulu]

Gents
26 – Charlemagne – John Cale [splotchy]
27 – Billy Two – The Clean [splotchy]
28 – Captain Lou – NRBQ [splotchy]
29 – Political Song for Michael Jackson to Sing – The Minutemen [splotchy]
30 – Adam Green – Momus [splotchy]
31 – Paul Stanley – Hellacopters [allenl]
32 – St. Jimmie the Prankster – Dean Gray (Green Day Mashup) [allenl]
33 – Jonathan – Nerf Herder [allenl]
34 – Vincent – Don Maclean [allenl]
35 – Pablo Picasso Visitos Los Planetos de los Simios – Adam and the Ants [allenl]
36 – Can’t Con an Honest John – The Streets [barbara]
37 – Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner – Warren Zevon [barbara]
38 – Donald in the Bushes with a Bag of Glue – Ballboy [barbara]
39 – William, It Was Really Nothing – the Smiths [barbara]
40 – Our Retired Explorer (Dines With Michel Foucault in Paris, 1961) – the Weakerthans [barbara]
41 – Danny Boy – Hayley Westenra [j.d.]
42 – A Boozehound Named Barney – Maggie Roswell (as Sherry Bobbins) [j.d.]
43 – Alfie – Lily Allen [j.d.]
44 – Samson – Regina Spektor [j.d.]
45 – Hey Jude – Joe Anderson [j.d.]
46 – Stagger Lee – Nick Cave [bubs]
47 – Peter Gunn – Henry Mancini [bubs]
48 – Making Plans For Nigel – Nouvelle Vague [bubs]
49 – Jimmy Jazz – The Clash [bubs]
50 – A Boy Named Sue – Johnny Cash [bubs]
48 – Making Plans For Nigel – Nouvelle Vague [bubs]
49 – Jimmy Jazz – The Clash [bubs]
50 – A Boy Named Sue – Johnny Cash [bubs]

With the end of the Green Monkey Music Project, I know it’s more of a formality, but I would still like to congratulate the following people on attaining masterhood with this mix.

Bubs
J.D.
Lulu

Wear your Green Monkey Master Badge with pride!

Thanks also to Volume 10’s guest host, Beckeye!

For All You Stats Junkies

J.D. asked in a comment what the most frequent artist across the monkey mixes was.

It turned out to be a 3-way tie. Here they are.

Pixies – 5 songs
Velouria (ABC) [tim]
Planet of Sound (Speed It Up) [tim]
Holiday Song (Total Absorption) [barbara]
Cecilia Ann (Battle Of The Sexes) [lulu]
Debaser (Snotty) [bigshoulders]

Radiohead – 5 songs
Go To Sleep (ABC) [barbara]
A Reminder (Speed It Up) [tim]
Pyramid Song (Speed It Up) [tenaciouss]
Let Down (Total Absorption) [barbara]
Optimistic (What’s In A Word?) [splotchy]

The Clash – 5 songs
Jimmy Jazz (Battle Of The Sexes) [bubs]
London Calling (Geography Pop Quiz) [gizmorox]
Guns of Brixton (Snotty) [bigshoulders]
Brand New Cadillac (Speed It Up) [johnnyyen]
Clampdown (What’s In A Word?) [beth]

If any of you stats junkies want to run any other kinds of numbers, I’ve created a comma-delimited file (CSV) for you. It’s very easy to convert to a spreadsheet format (MS Excel, for example).

Knock yerself out, and let me know of any interesting findings.

GMMP Songs Data

Good Night, Doodle

Okay, I’ve been spending entirely too much time assembling the last volume of the Monkey Mix.

Time for bed.

When I wake up, perhaps someone will have left a comment with a doodle picture idea for me.

UPDATE:

My condolences to Cat for working late into the night, but this time there *is* a positive side. Here is your zombie space cowboy.

Splotchy’s Contribution To Battle Of The Sexes

Here’s a discussion of my selections for the Battle Of The Sexes mix, Volume 10 of the Green Monkey Music Project.

In the initial round of the Green Monkey Music Project I did with some folks from work, one of the guys chose “Girls, Girls, Girls” as a theme (all songs had to have a female name), so I knew for this mix I would be opting to choose songs of the male persuasion.

I thought it would be difficult, but as I searched for songs I realized there was a helluva lot of dude name songs I liked as well.

Charlemagne – John Cale
From Vintage Violence, John Cale’s first solo album. Sure, the title and cover of this album may be a little unsettling, but it’s quite the lovely slice o’ pop. This song is really wonderful, though I could just as easily have included “Gideon’s Bible” from the same record. Check it out.

Billy Two – The Clean
This is just a straight-ahead, no-nonsense two minute pop song. I saw Yo La Tengo play this at the Metro in Chicago. Their guest guitarist touring with them sang the song, who just happened to be David Kilgour of The Clean. From the Anthology compilation.

Captain Lou – NRBQ
I never really knew a lot about NRBQ, despite their beloved status among many musicians and music-lovers. I actually saw them open up for R.E.M. on the Green tour, in the unfriendly confines of the Assembly Hall in Urbana, Illinois. I really didn’t dig them too much, but conditions were pretty much as bad as they could be for me to appreciate their music. I recently heard this song on Yo La Tengo’s very enjoyable half-assed covers compilation Yo La Tengo Is Murdering The Classics. I liked the song so much I sought out the original, which I liked even more. Hey, it’s got Captain Lou Albano. How cool is that? From Lou and the Q.

Political Song for Michael Jackson to Sing – The Minutemen
A great song off a great album – Double Nickels On The Dime. Has some really choice lines, my favorite being “So dig this big crux”. This song clocks in under two minutes. It shows what a rockin’ song is all about, in my humble opinion. Pure, pure stuff.


Adam Green – Momus
This song was one of my entries in a lyrics quiz, but no one ever got it. Off the interesting album Stars Forever, where for US $1000 you could have Momus write a song about you. Supposedly, the songs-for-pay on Stars Forever was concocted to enable Momus to recoup his legal costs incurred by being sued for a song on his previous album, The Little Red Songbook. Songbook contained a song “Walter Carlos”, about the famous Switched-On Bach virtuoso now known as Wendy. Wendy no like the song. Wendy sue Momus. I can assure you that the song wasn’t that offensive. Harvey Keitel got much worse treatment on the same album. Anyways, I was hesitant to include this song because it has a couple offensive lines, too. But hell, if this is my last Monkey Mix, screw it, right?

Thanks to Beckeye for hosting this time around.

Presently Playing

Hi, folks!

I have a fair amount of records which I enjoy hauling out and playing once in a while.

Here’s the vinyl I’ve been listening to lately.

“NOTHING”

At this juncture in my life, I don’t have a goddamned turntable. What with three kids under five running about, I don’t necessarily want a turntable.

But now that I mention it, you know who has a turntable, and who has lately been spinning a variety of platters at his abode, reporting on his listening experiences?

Tim, that’s who!

Tim, keep on spinning, playing and say-hey-heying!