There are many annoying bloggers (yes, I am talking about you) who have “Word Verification” turned on for readers who wish to leave comments. It’s basically some wavy text that the typist has to read and then must type in addition to leaving their comment, perhaps to prove they aren’t just creating text by accidentally sitting on the keyboard while expelling gas.

Oh, sure, we try to make light of this allegedly positive feature that takes several seconds of our lives as we try to communicate our comments to you. For example, sometimes in the comment itself we leave:

“My Word Verification was ‘yodelqr’!”

Make no mistake, this cheeriness is superficial — we are not happy.

Many weeks ago, I made the decision to do away with Word Verification on my own blog, in solidarity with Coaster Punchman.

Still, you Word Verification wackos haven’t gotten the message. In addition to this, I have recently noticed that the amount of Word Verification letters I am required to enter on some of your posts is reaching the double-digits.

So, here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to add the possible threat of physical violence to the equation.

By continuing to have-

1. Word Verification turned on
2. A post I feel compelled to comment on

-you will be held accountable for your actions.

On the off chance I get one of the series of letters below as my Word Verification text, you will be consenting to the consequences outlined.

Word Verification I Get – What You Get

Yahweh – Kick in the groin
Snurp – Punch in the mouth
Oopah – Scalded with flaming cheese
Yapple – A bag of oranges to the stomach
Whammy – You have to watch gameshows until your eyes bleed
Pumnotl – A stern look
Uuuuuuh – A boxing of the ears
Fluffy – Nothing [I wouldn’t mind this word]
Ruqponbop – Pubic hair pulling
Kickme – See Yahweh