Dr. Zaius has a-tagged me.

It’s a pie-in-the-sky kind of meme —

“Write about 5 classes you would like to take if you could make up your own curriculum. AND – and this is important, ONE of them must come from your tagger’s list.”

So, here ya go.

3978. Better Living Through Time Travel (3 credits) MWF 10:30-?
One of the enduring wishes of us history geeks is the ability to travel through time to see first hand the epochs and events that interest us the most. Well now you can, with this amazing, single-semester course! Learn the secret art of space-time continuum manipulation! Explore your chosen field fully versed in the language of your choice! No Latin? No problem! Discover the heretofore unknown nuances that prevent the paradoxical alteration of history itself that so much bad sci-fi has warned us about! So go and step on that bug with impudence! And just remember, the next time some wanker says that no one knows the real reason for the disappearance of human culture in the future, you can say, “You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!” Space craft necessary for said travel not included.

0332. Kickball (2 credits, pass/fail) MWF 7:00pm-9:00pm
Kickball! Kickball! Kickball! Beer will be provided.

0454. Building Real-World Rube Goldberg Contraptions (3 credits) TTh 3:00-4:00
This course will delve into the physical interaction of objects in time and space. For the first half of the course, students will be divided into groups of four. Several projects will be completed by these small groups, the goal of each task requiring the construction of a multistep device that executes an everyday task outlined by the instructor. Students will be given the opportunity to use a variety of objects to complete each task. Points will given for originality, resourcefulness, and audiovisual wittiness. The final project will involve the entire class, to create a large contraption capable of repeating an assortment of complex tasks. After the successful completion of the final project, it will be installed in a high-end casino in Las Vegas for the public to interact with and marvel at.

1337. Pirate Broadcasting for the Beginner (3 credits) MWF 1:00-2:00
Course will first give an overview of the evolution of the laws governing the use of airwaves, primarily within the United States, followed by a detailed history of pirate radio/television broadcasts that have sought to subvert or undermine these laws. Technical information will be discussed behind key interruptions in mainstream broadcasting by pirate broadcasters. A majority of the course will be devoted to hands-on experience running a pirate radio and TV station. Final project will involve the entire class, and will consist of a primetime interruption of a major entertainment outlet. The information conveyed during the interruption will be decided by the class through a majority vote.

5000. Stress Testing Everyday Objects (1 credit) TTh 10:30 – 12:00
Course designed to analyze the effects of extreme stress on everyday objects. Student will determine the objects he or she will be testing on a week-by-week basis. Available methods to the student to induce stress include (but are not limited to) the following: running object over with a steamroller, dropping object from an extraordinarily high building, dynamite, whipping object against a brick wall, putting object in junkyard compactor, extreme heat, extreme cold. Student will be required to indicate whether or not their stress-test “f*cked that sh*t up but good”.

I’ll tag some folks currently enriching their minds, who are probably way too deep in coursework to engage in some hypothetical studying:

Tenacious S
Cowboy The Cat
DGuzman
Johnny Yen
Freida Bee