This is my stupid alley. Note the slight accumulation of standing water. This amount of water will probably take a good week or two to fully evaporate.

It’s a crap shoot in the suburbs of Chicago if you have alleys behind your house. Brookfield does, while its neighboring suburb LaGrange Park does not.

Our alley is mud with a thin veneer of gravel that remains in place for about a week. Attempts are occasionally made to level out the alley, but this also lasts for about a week.

It’s possible to get one’s alley paved with some kind of futuristic compound called “concrete”, provided the cost be borne by the homeowners whose properties are contiguous with the alley.

You can read all about the ins and outs of Brookfield concrete alleyway requests in a Word document linked to on a helpful FAQ page!

While I go about gathering signatures for an “Alley Paving Petition”, please help me assign this alley a name worthy of its suckiness.

Whoever suggests the name I end up using will have the opportunity to provide a doodle idea, which I will doodle for them at no cost.

UPDATE:

Something just occurred to me. I think I am also going to make up a street sign (or as close to a street sign as I can manage) with the winning name, and I am going to place this street sign on the telephone pole in the alley next to my garage, where it will be seen by all other people who have to use this stupid alley.

While I like a lot of the names suggested already, please keep in mind that people seeing the sign should be aware that the name of the alley is expressing how sucky the alley is.

SECOND UPDATE:

I have chosen two winners: Miasma Row and Lake Alley. Miasma Row, because it says how I feel. Lake Alley, because I think that would be the most appropriate sign for me to hammer onto a telephone pole, before the Brookfield authorities inevitably make me take it down.

Bubs and DGuzman, please feel free to suggest a doodle idea, and I will happily doodle one for you!

DOODLE UPDATE:

For DGuzman: The entire BushCo gang falling into the lake in Lake Alley.