Online supporters of the iSplotchy, please be advised of a change in direction for marketing the candidate.
These materials were forwarded to campaign headquarters by Citizens for iSplotchy.
Please find the following attached:
Magazine Ad
Mailer (Concentrate on the “embittered” American demographic)
New Logo (slap this on anything with a flat surface)
Candidate is also planning on physically attacking several of the other presidential candidates in the near future, so rev up the spin machine to put a happy face on it.
It’s morning in America!!!
And here is your new campaign song.
We can totally do something with “everybody must get Splotched”.
I sure hope I get a job in the new admin, once you are elected. A cabinet post would be nice.
We needed that dung field!