Online supporters of the iSplotchy, please be advised of a change in direction for marketing the candidate.

These materials were forwarded to campaign headquarters by Citizens for iSplotchy.

Please find the following attached:

Magazine Ad

Mailer (Concentrate on the “embittered” American demographic)

New Logo (slap this on anything with a flat surface)

Candidate is also planning on physically attacking several of the other presidential candidates in the near future, so rev up the spin machine to put a happy face on it.