Monthly Archives: December 2008

this story is a virus

Remembering The Infected v3

9 Comments

I’m not sure how much fight the story virus has in it. We’ll just have to wait and see.

I have been updating the memorial with the fallen as I become aware of them. If you have succumbed to the virus, or know someone currently exhibiting symptoms, please let me know and I will update the memorial.

December 5, 2008
Splotchy
p0nk

December 6, 2008
Randal Graves
Utah Savage

December 7, 2008
Beach Bum
Dcup
Dusty
Freida of the Bees
Liberality
Susan

December 8, 2008
~E
Bull
CDP
Cormac Brown
David
Dguzman
Geo
PaulBrazill
SamuraiFrog
Some Guy
themom
Bill Stankus

December 9, 2008
Bacon Lady
Bubs
Bubs
Cormac Brown
Flannery Alden
Freida of the Bees
Genn6
Laura
LegalMist
Michael
Morgan the Muse
Sausage Mechanic
Scutterman
Southern Belle
That Damn Expat
TishTash
Jeannelle
John

December 10, 2008
KaliAmanda
MRMacrum
Splotchy
Wooden Spoons
Sherry
Joshlos
Andy
Laura
Earth Muffin
Darius
Gwen
Madam Z

December 11, 2008
SamuraiFrog
Becca
MelO
Spartacus
Geoffrey

December 12, 2008
Scope
Erudite Redneck

December 13, 2008
Toivoa ja Elämän
Enc
Kaitlyn
Maki
Manx
Bubs
Crystal
Randal Graves
Miss Cavendish

December 14, 2008
Jeff D
The Lady Who Doesn’t Lunch

December 15, 2008
Carrin
Linka72
Dean Wormer

December 16, 2008
PaulBrazill
Don Snabulus

December 17, 2008
Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius

December 18, 2008
Roger Owen Green
Splotchy

December 19, 2008
Jon

December 20, 2008
Jean-Luc Picard

December 21, 2008
Dr. Nemonok

Uncategorized

O Golden Fake Tree That Lights My Heart

5 Comments

We have a new Christmas tree. Wait, don’t worry! I am not going to make you nauseous like I did last year!

Our old tree’s box busted at some point during the summer, spilling out the fake tree parts on our very dusty garage floor. We had been using the tree for probably ten or so years, so we decided to use this dirty opportunity to get a new one.

As a child I remember my family having real Christmas trees, and eventually replacing the real ones with a fake one. I was probably pretty young when the switch happened, so I’m kind of used to it. MizSplotchy, on the other hand, always had a real tree before she and I moved in together. Maybe someday we’ll go back to having real trees — I remember being fond of the smell, though one could always leave an open bottle of Pine-Sol out, I suppose.

If we were going to replace our fake tree with another fake tree, MizSplotchy said she wanted to have a pre-lit one. So, we packed up the kids and went to the center of all that is holy, Target. There I spied a golden Christmas tree, and gave her a smile. If we were going to have a fake tree, why not get a glaringly fake one? So, that is what we did.

The lights on our golden tree are all white (they were white on all the pre-lit trees we saw), which I was just a little bummed about. I had forgotten how much I like colored lights.

Still, once the tree was home and the decorating began, I got happy tingles up and down my spine. It was really nice watching the kids put ornaments on the tree (all clustered together in one section, of course).

We were talking about what we should do for dinner on decorating night, and MizSplotchy suggested we order pizza. She said we had ordered pizza the last two years we had decorated the tree. A tradition was born, and I didn’t even know it!

Of course, we had to put on the Vince Guaraldi Trio’s A Charlie Brown Christmas as musical accompaniment to the decorating. I still have yet to see the actual TV special, but after being introduced to the album by MizSplotchy, Christmas ain’t Christmas without it.

The golden tree definitely has a different aesthetic quality than a green one. For one, I think it goes smashingly with our zebra-ish drapes in the living room. Red looks really great on it — probably one of my favorite things now is how the little fabric bows we hung stand out against the gold. Of course, there are some down sides. With such a blingy tree, the blinged-out ornaments we have aren’t so spectactular. Sorry, disco ball ornament.

Anyways, here’s our tree. We still haven’t put the star on top, but other than that, it’s pretty much done.

Merry Disco Xmas!

this story is a virus

The Story Virus Continues

1 Comment

I have been reinfected!

The bus was more crowded than usual. It was bitterly cold outside, and I hadn’t prepared for it. I noticed that a fair number of the riders were dressed curiously. As I glanced around, I stretched my feet and kicked up against a large, heavy cardboard box laying under the seat in front of me. (Splotchy)

Its owner, a fat shifty-looking hillbilly, slouched uncomfortably under the weight of his Bulgarian army surplus wool coat and cap. I could tell he wasn’t cut out for this weather. He jerked around, almost spastic, when he felt the box tap against his feet. He gulped and stared at me bug-eyed, one obscene rivulet of sweat running down his temple, down along his jaw, finally disappearing somewhere between his second chin and the fake fur collar of his coat.

Right away, and for no good reason, he pissed me off. (Bubs)

He would not stop staring at me. I could hear his wheezing breath. I could smell every stinking minute of his sputtering life. My muscles tensed.

We were a little isolated from the rest of the riders. I looked around. Apart from a couple greasy-looking hippies stealing glances in my direction, everyone was in their own dazed world. Another rivulet of sweat began the long journey down the hillbilly’s fat face. He licked his lips.

Enough was enough. I shot my arm up and popped him right between the eyes, snapping his head back. He slumped forward. I felt my anger slowly recede. I reached over him, took the cap off his head and placed it on my own. It smelled like a slaughterhouse, but it would keep me warm.

In the corner of my eye, I noticed the hippies making their way over to me. The man, wearing a dirty poncho and sporting a handlebar mustache, sat down in my seat. I reflexively scooted over to not have him in my lap. The girl, a smallish brunette wearing heavy black eyeliner and a shapeless green coat, sat behind me.

“You see, Snow?” the man said. “I knew he was the one. Did you see that jab?”

“Whatever,” Snow said.

“That was great, man. Snow thought the guy in front of you was the one.”

He must have spotted confusion in my eyes. “We saw the box, but we didn’t know if it was yours.” The man smiled broadly. “I’m Rain. You’re Leaf, right?”

I looked at him more closely. He was wearing a shoulder holster under his poncho. He had deep green eyes that were sharp and serious. The smile left his face as abruptly as it had appeared. “You better get the box ready.” (Splotchy)

Please continue this story virus!

I tag:

McGone
Manx
SamuraiFrog (Yes, I am tagging you again)
Jin
Cowboy the Cat
Allen L
Bubs (right back at ya)