Leave your questions in the comments.

Jinny:
How do I get rid of that unclean feeling?

Shower, Soap and Sesame Street.

BeckEye
Da ya think I’m sexy?

Beckeye, you’re an essay in glamour, please pardon the grammar, but you’re every schoolboy’s dream.

Bob
Where in the hell did I put my Marvin the Martian pen?

It fell on the floor. Look for it in that pile of stuff next to the door. It’s laying on top of the mint condition T206 Honus Wagner baseball card and the Inverted Jenny stamp, behind three unpeeled Butcher cover Yesterday and Today albums, in front of Action Comics #1. Please be careful not to get ink on the Declaration of Independence — the pen is uncapped.

Distributorcap:
Why is memorial day considered the first day of summer when it really is in june?

Because who wants to do their remembering in the Spring?

The Imaginary Reviewer:
Is wind power really the future?

Future of electricity: no.
Future of non-stop hilarity: yes.

Flannery Alden
Can I buy a complete chess set at a pawn shop?

No, you should make your own chess set out of soap and shoe polish, the way any self-respecting chessmaster would.