I only have to work Monday this week, so the rest of my time leading up to Thanksgiving can be devoted to developing my eight-pack abs and watching shitty movies.

Okay, watching shitty movies.

What were my choices?

Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs – Nope!

This Is It – I’m pretty sure it isn’t, but thank you.

Where The Wild Things Are – I was all excited about this until I realized it was not in fact a sequel to The Wild Life.

Couples Retreat – LET’S GO.

I got the great idea of live-tweeting my moviewatching experience. I sat near the back of the theater and got my phone and my typing fingers ready.

Sadly, during the film I realized that to properly live-tweet a movie, you have to be sitting in the VERY back row of the theater. Unless, of course, you don’t mind getting repeatedly punched in the back of the head by people who for some reason don’t like the life-giving glow of your mobile phone.

Regardless of this, I’m going to let my Tweets stand as a review of this film. Enjoy!

7:10pm – Live-tweeting Couples Retreat in a cheap theater. GO

7:10pm – It is only me & 4 annoying teens here.

7:11pm – Wait! A “couple” just walked in.

7:11pm – Bob Marley’s Legend on the sound system.

7:12pm – Another couple-

7:12pm – I have always loved “Stir It Up”. Genuinely.

7:13pm – Movie is supposed to start at 7:15pm.

7:13pm – This is kind of like live-tweeting Crank 2, except not really.

7:14pm – I hope I anger no one. I’m a sweetheart.

7:15pm – lights out

9:12pm – Sorry, somebody sat behind me. It was shittt

9:12pm – shitty