Twitter User:
ysplotchy

Tweet:
“Reap, those little slices of death; Oh how I loaf them.” — Edgar Allan Poe, Baker
(link to original tweet)

Overexplanation:
What went wrong here? I made Edgar Allan Poe a baker, and turned one of his most famous quotes into something a baker might say. How is that not funny?

Original quote: Sleep, those little slices of death; Oh how I loathe them.

Okay, okay, I think using “Reap” instead of “Sleep” was weak. Are there types of bread that rhyme with sleep? That would have been much, much better. I tried thinking of a better rhyme, but was unsuccessful. Reap was the best thing I could think of.

Still… I kept slices of death, and changed loathe to loaf. That was funny, wasn’t it? Yeah, it was. It was indeed.