Enough with the zombies. They aren’t interesting anymore. Dawn of the Dead came out in 1978. 1978! What other interesting zombie movies ARE THERE?!!

I don’t really like any of the recent zombie movies/shows I have seen. 28 Days Later. Zombieland. The Walking Dead. Okay, so we see how people act under duress. Enough already. Who cares?

I haven’t read the Jane Austen zombie book, but I am going to go out on a limb and say I hate it. Yeah, I hate something I haven’t read! DEAL WITH IT!

I am going to give you 3 Zombie Story Ideas. They might have been used already, they might have not. I’m not checking.

1) Vegetarian Zombies

The dead walk the Earth! But they don’t want to eat brains. They want grains, fruits, vegetables! They menace crops. They go after farmer’s markets. They invade supermarkets.

Maybe they get violent in their attempt to procure these non-meats. They are aggressive.

How does the non-zombie world treat them?

2) Sex Zombies

Zombies don’t want to eat your brains. They want to fuck your brains out. See, I just came up with the tagline. I did half the work for you.

The zombies are driven by their genitalia. To kill the zombie, you must destroy their junk. Ouch!

Depending on the zombies’ sex and sexual orientation, they will be moaning after “Tiiiiiiiits” or “Coooooooooooooock” or, you get the idea.

3) Eat A Zombie To Stay Alive

Okay, the zombies are like regular zombies. They eat people, they can be killed by destroying the brain.

The world is overrun by zombies. They outnumber the living.

Scientists have discovered that when a human being ingests zombie flesh, they give off a scent which repels zombies. Well, the zombie doesn’t want to eat the human, at least.

They have tried synthesizing the scent, coming up with a perfume, etc., but none of that works. The only thing works is eating zombie flesh.

Are there side effects to eating zombie flesh? I don’t know, haven’t thought of that yet. Perhaps some long-term effects that would be discovered in the course of the movie.

So, in this world zombie flesh is what’s for dinner. It’s a means of survival. How does this ripple out to society? There are chefs that attempt to make zombie flesh more palatable. Companies start marketing products. You get the idea.

I THOUGHT OF THESE THREE IDEAS IN AN AFTERNOON. COME UP WITH INTERESTING ZOMBIE MOVIES OR STOP MAKING ZOMBIE MOVIES.

P.S. I LOVED THE SHAUN OF THE DEAD