My twins turn 9 tomorrow. I got them two presents each. I hope they like them. They aren’t fancy, or big, or expensive, or anything.

This is their first birthday after my divorce. I don’t know what it’s like growing up with divorced parents. I don’t have any idea.

I know people can turn out great growing up in divorced households. I know that what’s important is being a loving parent, and giving your kids love, and giving them a safe and happy environment. You don’t need to tell me that.

I don’t want to be married to the person whom I was married to for 10 years (Fun fact: 10th anniversary happened 6 days before the divorce was final). I don’t want her back, ever. She did awful things to me; things I can’t forget.

But, here’s this. I wish I could have given my kids a mom and dad to grow up with. I wish I could have given them that. I wish, I wish, I wish.

Happy birthday, kids. I love you so much.