A while back I did a month’s worth of couplets. It was fun.

I haven’t really done any concentrated poetry writing or anything, but when the mood strikes me, I’ll zip one off to Twitter with the hashtag #RapLyricsFree4Use. I don’t know why I add that hashtag. Okay, I do know why. It’s a way of distancing me from the words I am writing.

I’m writing poetry, people! But If I put that silly hashtag on it, I can say, “Well, it was me just goofing around.” It *is* me goofing around, but I wouldn’t post something I didn’t like or didn’t want other people to see.

Anyways, I did a Twitter search and found some old tweets with this hashtag. A couple I didn’t like at all, so am not including here. I didn’t delete them, so you can go look for the damn things and marvel at the badness.

I was actually surprised by some of the tiny poems. I didn’t remember them. I loved the hard drive full of pig pics. I don’t know that I can ever top that one.

A caramel hammer
A peppermint crow
A scooped-out orange filled with dirty snow

Avoiding every little accusatory look
Erasing eyes from the faces in my history book

A misplaced cup and saucer falls
While humor drips down the coffeehouse walls

Draped in velour
Walking on shag
Wiping your mouth with a dirty rag

Say man, hey, what the hell is it to ya
Making light of all my deeply personal minutiae

I love language
There, I said it
No need to ask this question on Reddit

Some people fight and some have spats
Some argue on the Internet with their cats

Where you were is where you are
Using lighting and makeup to conceal your scar

Every interaction a possible infection
A denial of the chance of human connection

Your old friend’s hard drive’s full of pigs
Gigs and gigs of pics of pigs

Coasting through life, refusing blame
Driving like an asshole in a video game

She only wore shoes with chunky soles
And prized her set of ceremonial bowls

I want my heart to be Sabbath and Led Zeppelin
But it’s always closer to Belle & Sebastian

All the sycophants were on hand
Pretending not to understand

Phenolphthalein, patricide
Unimpeachably country-fried

Sobbing, smiling, running, laughing
Everyone is waiting for exciting things to happen

I don’t believe in the royal we
An’ I always spell gravy with a capital G

Doing the things we most despise
Tweeting little honeypots for bad replies