When we last left Aragorn, he was transformed by a laser shot by a A.I.-generated green brute into an inexpensive action figure with bow and arrow drawn.
The Aragorn action figure was an Xmas gift from one of my kids. Why did they get me that? I think it was inspiration or something. I’ve read the LOTR books and seen the movies, but it’s not a yearly tradition for me.
Anyways, I thought the next step it would be cool if I created an action figure of myself that would interact with Aragorn. I did not aggressively pursue this! I half-heartedly called my local library, which has a 3d printer, and it didn’t seem like I’d be able to come up with a lifelike facsimile of me using it.
I found a video of this action figure creator company called Dopl, which is owned by Jim Henson’s son and is:
Only in DC/NYC/LA
Probably super-duper expensive
You can probably tell from my last Gorn post that I was angling for Gorn-the-action-figure-collector to collide with Aragorn-the-action-figure.
Well, fuck it. Everything I have ever seen or heard or read about AI at this point is garbage. It burns energy. It burns creators. It burns everything.
So, this story is done. Everybody lived ever after, maybe happy, maybe not.
I will say I have yet to see anything related to A.I. that I have liked more than my dumb story.
Reprinted with permission from the January 15th, 2024 edition of People Magazine
PEOPLE: Wow, so much has happened over the past year. Where to start?
GORN: [laughs] Yes, if you told me I’d be assuming public office at ANY point of my life I’d have a hard time believing you. But that’s Aragorn for you, right? He’s a bright star and just pulls you into his orbit.
PEOPLE: There *was* some controversy after the break-in scandal at Bree-
GORN: I don’t know anything about that, so really am not able to comment on it.
PEOPLE: And the imprisonment of the opposition party leaders, Spock and the Nazgûl-
GORN: Listen, I’ve talked about this before. Before joining Aragorn on the GORN ticket, I had very little experience in politics. And I was not personally involved in any day-to-day campaign activities, and am on record as not being in agreement with the incarceration of Spock or the Nazgûl. I believe if you have good ideas and good leadership, people will respond to that – you don’t need to silence other voices. Can we move on to other topics?
PEOPLE: Of course. Our readers would be disappointed if we didn’t at least touch on the campaign and your experience there.
GORN: Understood. It sells magazines.
PEOPLE: What no one expected was Spock and Aragorn forming the rock supergroup Spockagorn and leaving the political arena for arena rock.
GORN: I was just as surprised as anyone. I mean, I know Spock and Aragorn have their musical chops, but I didn’t see it coming. When Aragorn showed up at the Spock/Nazgûl concert and they started jamming, it was magical.
PEOPLE: You yourself are quite musical, aren’t you?
GORN: Hah. Well, I dabble. I’m more of a connoisseur of music than a practitioner.
Gorn at one of his favorite independent record storesGorn prefers to listen to his older collection of 78s on an antique Victrola
PEOPLE: With Spockagorn taking the nation by storm, you probably had a lot of time on your hands. Apart from music, what have you been up to?
GORN: Well, plenty of people wanted the insider perspective on the campaign as well as the emergence of Spockagorn. I had fun doing lots of interviews, though thankfully that’s slowing down. I’m tired of talking. [laughs]
PEOPLE: What’s a day in the life of Gorn now that things are settling down for you a bit?
GORN: Lately, I’m catching up on films I’ve been meaning to watch. I’m also pursuing some old hobbies like collecting action figures.
PEOPLE: Is there a “holy grail” action figure you are looking for?
GORN: I’m actually quite fond of action figures of people I know in real life. I have a couple old Spock figures from the 1960s. I’m always on the lookout for an Aragorn action figure, but those are far less common. I have a very worn “King” Aragorn but it’s missing a belt and left hand. Would love to get a nicer one. I guess we’ll see!
