I don’t like writing personal things on this here blog.

I just want that noted.

I just pooped my pants, by the way.

To any people who don’t want to read something personal, please don’t read this. This is very personal.

My life is so crazy right now.

So, I am still married. T__ and I are working on the divorce now. We are sleeping in separate rooms, but are still living together. This has been going on for a while now. We get along fine still.

We are trying collaborative divorce. We each have lawyers, and are meeting with two different specialists next week (one for finances, and one to help us with the transition and custody arrangements for our kids).

I don’t really have any bitterness now about the end of our marriage. That’s not to say that bitterness could well up from time to time, I guess. I mean, there are going to be days when I wake up and my kids won’t be there. That will hurt, and I might get a wave of anger wash over me. But I think I have moved toward accepting the divorce, and the end of the marriage.

It’s sad, of course. I did not get married, did not have kids, with the purpose of having this happen. I’m most sad about the kids. I’m very, very sad.

I feel like there’s hope for them. T__ and I both want what’s best for them. And we want to get along, we want to be a family for the kids. We’re loving parents, and that’s not going to change. Still, man, the kids are going to be hurt. There’s no way around that.

My mother is going to carry anger and hatred toward T__ for the rest of her life. I’m sad about that, too. T__ still loves my mom. She really does. I wish I could make things better, but I can’t.

I have met someone recently. Her name is Lisa. She is a wonderful person. It’s a long-distance relationship, but we recently spent time together in person. I love her. T__ knows about her.

I have gotten to know Lisa over the past few months. I loved her as a person before I ever had any romantic feelings for her. She’s a genuinely wonderful human being.

I can’t control the timing of things. Even though T__ and I are over as a romantic couple, it would been have better for Lisa and I if T__ and I would have been *completely* free and clear. But we’re not yet. We still live together, and we are still married.

What a horrible mess.

T__ is still my friend, and she is the mother of my children. She says she wants me to do whatever will make me happy. She has encouraged me to see other women. And I love Lisa. It bothers Lisa greatly that I’m still married, still living with my wife. Of course it would. She doesn’t want to feel like a mistress. She doesn’t want to be part of my marriage, or my divorce.

She wants me free and clear. How long before T__ and I are living in separate households? How long? I can’t give Lisa an answer.

So many people are being hurt. Lisa is being hurt. My mother is being hurt. Even though this divorce is what T__ wanted, I’m sure she is going through her own pain.

And my kids. My kids don’t know yet. I know they’re the most important thing in all of this. I just want to do right by them. And I’ll do my best.

Still, I’m so sorry about everything.

Yes, I have an incredibly sexy ankle sock tan as well!

To any of you who may be harboring negative thoughts toward her as a result of my recent post, T__ would like you to know she can make a pretty awesome coleslaw.

(it’s true — we just had it last night, and it was awesome)

I got up freakishly early today.

I thought I would head out for a bike ride on the Salt Creek trail and be back before anyone was awake.

I took pictures!

For some reason, I love the fact that this bike trail has street signs.

It was already light when I headed out, but the sun hadn’t risen yet. Here’s a first peek at it through the trees.

And here it is, a little later. Ladies and gentlemen, the Eye of Sauron!

I saw a huge blue heron at this boggish part of the trail. I stopped my bike abruptly, and scared the damn thing off. So, I took a picture of the bog. You’re welcome.

I saw lots of deer, but didn’t feel like taking pictures of any of them. Well, there was a picturesque scene of a deer urinating just off the trail next to LaGrange Road that would have made an award-winning photograph, but no, I didn’t take a picture of the deer urinating, either.

I *did* however take some pictures of a raccoon eating garbage. My folks got me a nifty camera for Christmas. It has freakish zooming capabilities, which I will show to you now.

This is where the raccoon was. My camera is zoomed out.

Here’s the raccoon at 40x.

Nifty.

In a recent walk to the train, I noticed a flier in a store window, advertising a free screening of The Muppet Movie to be held on June 26th at Ehlert Park in Brookfield .

It had been ages since I had seen it, but I remember loving it. I learned later that T__ had never seen it.

I wanted to do a little family outing with everyone, and T__ was agreeable about it, so we got some snacks and water together and headed over to Ehlert at around sunset.

I took a frisbee and a ball, played a little with the boys. My daughter just sat in a chair, hanging out with her mom.

While we were waiting for the movie to start, I took a couple cheesy, pretentious photos.

When I noticed this aircraft in the sky, it was right next to the moon, and seemed to be headed straight up into space. I honestly thought it might be a rocket. But, it wasn’t. Probably a jet. It had a weird reddish cast to it — not sure if it was really that color, or if was reflecting the color of the setting sun.

Yes, I took a picture of the moon, too. Happy?

The movie finally started around 9pm (the days *are* pretty much at their longest around the solstice). Oh, what a treat.

I genuinely laughed out loud nine or ten times. There were great cameos I had forgotten about, wonderful lines (Fozzie repeatedly saying “Waka waka waka!”, Beaker saying “Sadly temporary”, pretty much anything Animal said, etc.) Such a great movie.

I’m sure he has mentioned the origin of his blog title before, but I was happily surprised when Mel Brooks spoke of performing a Electronic Cerebrectomy on Kermit.

The movie ended at around 11pm. Two of our kids made it all the way through. Our youngest gave into sleep and some cozy blankets we had brought along.

I know things aren’t the best for me or my family right now, but it’s nice we can still have moments like this.

Witnessed on my walk from the train yesterday, late afternoon.

(I’m happy to say it did not rain on me)

My hit counter is THROUGH THE ROOF!

SKIDOOSH!

P.S. This blog is making me feel a lot better. Thanks, blog.