Category Archives: a peek into the exciting life of splotchy
So we got the rain…
We got the seepage in our basement. It didn’t actually start until Sunday, so that’s something, I guess. It wasn’t that awful. It definitely did not near the amount of awfulness my anxiety produced. Boy howdy was I freaking anxious.
There are 1-3 inches of rain forecast for late tonight and tomorrow in the Chicago area, so zippity-doo-dah for that fuckery. I’m more tired now than anxious about it. Right now there are blue skies, and it’s very nice to have it, and have a brief moment of calm before another fucking storm.
Yesterday, I actually left the house for a while with the kids while MizSplotchy went to work on a paper for school. We went to an indoor playground, and then headed to my sister’s house.
I felt pretty paralyzed for most of the weekend, pretty ineffectual. I didn’t get into a fetal position, but at times I certainly felt like it.
My main job during the rains is getting water away from the house. My old system was the following: scoop up water outside with a kitty litter pail, dump the water into a leaky garbage can, repeat until garbage can is reasonably full, drag garbage can to alley and dump it.
This last time we had three pumps that MizSplotchy and I just moved around to suck up the water in the yard. So, basically I just watched the water being pumped outside while I did nothing. That’s a much more efficient way of getting the water out, and it’s significantly less exhausting than my kitty garbage can solution. However, doing all that physical exertion was beneficial to my state of mind, and the absence of it left me keyed up.
All the anxiety I had was really toxic. My stomach was giving me problems, I was snapping at the kids, I was afraid, unable to concentrate, etc., etc.
I’m working on it. I’m working on it.
Sigh…
Hi-di-ho.
This is a post about me. I’m trying to make myself feel better. I don’t really like talking about personal stuff too much, but since I am thinking of little else besides what’s on my mind, I figure I would unload on anyone reading this.
I can be a pretty anxious fellow. I don’t handle stress that well. I guess I have struggled with anxiety all my life.
I’m doing something about it now. I am taking some anti-anxiety medication. I’m seeing someone to talk about it.
My problems are not earthshaking problems. I mean, they’re huge in my mind, in my emotional mind, at least. But they’re not that big, intellectually speaking. There is rain forecasted for Saturday and Sunday this weekend. That’s what got me all worked up now — that’s what has my anxious mind firing on all cylinders.
We have had seepage in our basement several times in the last few months, most recently last Thursday. That fucking basement is the definition of anxiety and stress and terror for me. I know, I know, compared to most any other problems, it’s not that much. We have living space down there, so that’s one thing. If we didn’t have living space there, *maybe* I wouldn’t be so freaked out about it (but I doubt it).
The last two days I have been obsessively checking Weather.com, Accuweather.com, Wunderground.com, ocdweatherwatchers.org (okay, not that one), etc. I’m constantly checking for updates on the weather situation. I guess I’m doing it in hope that the situation will mellow out, that the predicted amount of rainfall will decrease. If that happens, I feel a little better. If the forecast changes to be for heavier rain, I get more upset. If the forecast does not change at all, I keep on going back until it changes. Holy shit it’s a fucking awful cycle I get myself into.
Oh shit, I’m a fucking prisoner to my anxiety. Oh fuck, fuck, fuck.
BUT….
We are doing something about it. On May 11 we are having the perimeter of our basement dug up to lay down drain tiles, and we will have a sump pump put in.
Yesterday I bought some bigass rain boots, so next time we *do* get seepage (hopefully not this weekend), I won’t be traipsing through the standing water in my sneakers.
And, like I said, I’m trying to deal with my (sometimes) crippling anxiety.
What about it is so goddamn terrifying for me about the seepage? I don’t know — I have this idea of having a personal space, which unfortunately includes the fucking basement. When water comes through, I feel like my personal space is being violated. I feel like I am losing control, which is a feeling I really can’t stand. I can get all funky when I get sick, because of the same feelings of loss-of-control.
The anticipation of the seepage is in some ways worse than dealing with it. Oh, don’t get me wrong, dealing with it can be pretty fucking awful, too. I have had a couple meltdowns during the seepage situation when the rain just WOULD. NOT. STOP. FALLING. I didn’t scream at the sky, but I certainly thought about it.
The way we did it last time was MizSplotchy was handling the seepage in the basement, while I was outside trying to get some standing water away from the house. A lot of rain fell in a short period of time last Thursday, so there was a lot of standing water. I felt a *lot* better being outside getting water away from the house, rather than working downstairs. It was kind of that whole personal space thing again. By dealing with the water outside, I was defending our personal space, as opposed to coping with my space being violated. Weird, maybe, but true.
We have a couple pumps that we can use, with attachments for garden hoses. MizSplotchy just picked up another 100 foot hose, as well as some hose wranglers. I think tonight I will probably get everything set up for the possibility of seepage. I might go to Home Depot later today to try and get some cement to seal any cracks I can find in our sidewalk. I AM SERIOUS ABOUT NOT WANTING RAIN IN MY HOUSE NOW. I AM VERY SERIOUS.
I have bothered my family with my anxiety regarding this weekend’s rain. And now I am bugging you.
Sorry, phew, but it helps me to write it out. I’m looking forward to the sump pump — if it truly does fix our basement problem, I can find some other stupid shit to get worked up about.
LOVE,
SPLOTCHY
Just Wanted To Note This For The Record
BEGIN THIS HAS BEEN A SHITTY FEW DAYS
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BASEMENT FLOODING LAST THURSDAY
THREE CHILDREN WITH A FEVER, ONE OF WHOM HAS BEEN LETHARGIC SINCE LAST THURSDAY.
I HAVE A PERSISTENT COUGH
I HAD SOME SHITTY WINE FROM WHOLE FOODS, WHICH WINE SPECTATOR RATED AT “93 POINTS” (FUCK YOU, WINE SPECTATOR)
I WATCHED FIFTEEN MINUTES OF PAUL BLART: MALL COP
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END THIS HAS BEEN A SHITTY FEW DAYS
Jesus H. Fucking Christ, Can I Get To 100 Fucking Thousand Visits This Fucking Millenium Please?
YOU CAN DO THIS, PEOPLE!
MAKE IT HAPPEN!
VISIT EARLY!
VISIT OFTEN!
No, I Don’t Like Meetings
Health Report, Week Something-Or-Other
Okay, here is one of the things that has been occupying my time.
I have been working out a few times a week at our local YMCA.
I have been doing this for a few months.
I started on a recumbent exercise bike. Why a recumbent bike? Don’t I look like a tool riding a recumbent exercise bike? Yes, of course I do. I did try riding a normal exercise bike, but I was left with a strange vibrating sensation in my naughty bits that I do not care to repeat.
I have also been using the elliptical machine. While exercising, I have been listening to high energy rock ‘n roll, only dimly aware of how ridiculous a 38 year old man singing along to the Kaiser Chiefs while pseudo-running on an oversized machine truly looks.
This past week I have started working on my arms on various weight machines.
Next Monday I meet with a “fitness coach”. I am doing this mostly so I can get an account on the various weight machines, so I can track my progress.
At a doctor’s appointment last year, if I remember correctly, I think I weighed 245 pounds. When I weighed myself this past Sunday I was down to 217 pounds. I have lost my love handles and most of my gut. Unfortunately, my pants are very loose, and I think there is a 65% probability they will spontaneously drop to my feet in the near future.
I feel good exercising, and it’s nice to get away from the computer. I know many people feel the need to exercise after the holidays. The Y is freakin’ crowded lately.
I made a New Year’s Resolution to stop drinking soda. Dedicated readers of this blog might remember the exciting post where I previously made the pledge to stop drinking the stuff, but after a few months I started up again (I didn’t post to document my fall off the wagon). Anyways, I’m trying again. It’s a lot easier this time around.
I don’t post a lot about the mundane aspects of my life, but I figured what the hell.
I feel healthier and I feel good about it.
Well, I Suppose I Should Post Something in 2009
I’m not sure how active I’ll be at the blogging these days.
I know I have a Green Monkey mix yet to complete, and I’ll get to it, I’ll get to it.
I’m just not feeling it lately, I suppose.
I’m Not Dead
See you soon!
HELLO, FANS OF CLASSIC ROCK!
Lately I seem to be getting a fair amount of traffic from StumbleUpon, where my blog has been inexplicably categorized as “Classic Rock”.
I can see that visitors from StumbleUpon are only on my site briefly, after which they leave in disgust at being misled here (yes, their disgust is actually logged in my site statistics).
In an effort to please the people coming here looking for the rock that is classic, please accept these pictures of guitarist Steve Howe as a good faith gesture on my part.
