Hello, Speedwalkers!
Whenever I see you chugging down the street, I involuntarily hear Ethel Merman belting out “There’s No Business Like Show Business” in my head.
I thought you would like to know.
Ethel Merman – There’s No Business etc.
Category Archives: a peek into the exciting life of splotchy
We Have Been Street Viewed!
The other day I popped my home address into Google Maps search and was surprised to find my street and home visible on Google Maps Street View.
Here’s one of the cars Google employs to take its pictures of streets like mine (and possibly yours). There is a multiple-camera doohickey on the top of the car that enables the capturing of 360 degree composite images.
Here’s a zoomed-in picture of my living room window. A little invasive, no? Is that someone lurking among the curtains?
Rotating the view around, I can see that the Google Street View car must have been by our house in late summer/early fall, as the leaves are changing on the maple across the street from us.
There’s helpful pointers on the web instructing one how to use Street View, but I’d figure I’d include my own sample Street View, for the lovely Wrigley Field, home of the Chicago Cubs.
Search for Wrigley Field!
Found it! Now click the Street view link!
Look at that throng of people! Perhaps a Cubs game was in progress, or had just let out? (click on pic for a much larger image)
Rotating the view, we see a shocking scene. Either one of the Street View Car’s cameras malfunctioned, or there was a disruption in the space-time continuum at the Wrigleyville Taco Bell! (click for bigger)
I’ll be attending a Cubs game tomorrow night, so I will inform you of what I find, assuming I don’t get sucked into a black hole.
If any Cubs fans want to take a stab at what game is happening in the Google Street Views, please feel free to do so.
I did see a helpful message on the Cubby Bear’s ticker sign (click for bigger):
The sign is congratulating swimmer Christina Loukas on winning a silver medal.
Lake Alley / Miasma Row Update
So, after a very rough day at work on Friday (04/18), I finally pull into our alley at around 7:45pm.
I was surprised by a couple things. One, virtually all the water witnessed in the alley photo of Monday (04/14) had evaporated.
Two, the friendly elves of Brookfield had filled in one of the larger crevasses of the alley with some gravel.
Everything’s coming up Splotchy!
Oh, before I forget, let me present the doodle for the other winner of the Name That Alley contest.
For Bubs: Bubs pulling a big-ass catfish out of the water.
Name That Alley Contest
This is my stupid alley. Note the slight accumulation of standing water. This amount of water will probably take a good week or two to fully evaporate.
It’s a crap shoot in the suburbs of Chicago if you have alleys behind your house. Brookfield does, while its neighboring suburb LaGrange Park does not.
Our alley is mud with a thin veneer of gravel that remains in place for about a week. Attempts are occasionally made to level out the alley, but this also lasts for about a week.
It’s possible to get one’s alley paved with some kind of futuristic compound called “concrete”, provided the cost be borne by the homeowners whose properties are contiguous with the alley.
You can read all about the ins and outs of Brookfield concrete alleyway requests in a Word document linked to on a helpful FAQ page!
While I go about gathering signatures for an “Alley Paving Petition”, please help me assign this alley a name worthy of its suckiness.
Whoever suggests the name I end up using will have the opportunity to provide a doodle idea, which I will doodle for them at no cost.
UPDATE:
Something just occurred to me. I think I am also going to make up a street sign (or as close to a street sign as I can manage) with the winning name, and I am going to place this street sign on the telephone pole in the alley next to my garage, where it will be seen by all other people who have to use this stupid alley.
While I like a lot of the names suggested already, please keep in mind that people seeing the sign should be aware that the name of the alley is expressing how sucky the alley is.
SECOND UPDATE:
I have chosen two winners: Miasma Row and Lake Alley. Miasma Row, because it says how I feel. Lake Alley, because I think that would be the most appropriate sign for me to hammer onto a telephone pole, before the Brookfield authorities inevitably make me take it down.
Bubs and DGuzman, please feel free to suggest a doodle idea, and I will happily doodle one for you!
DOODLE UPDATE:
For DGuzman: The entire BushCo gang falling into the lake in Lake Alley.
I Am Going To Make A Movie
I am going to make a movie. It sounds strange to me. I have a BA in Cinema from Southern Illinois at Carbondale, but I never really wandered too far down that path.
But I have written the script for a short film, and I plan on filming it this summer.
I have a couple actors already lined up. I have a cameraman who has his own equipment. I have another cameraman lined up as well. I have a makeup person lined up. I have shooting dates scheduled.
I still have much preparation to do.
- Finish my 3rd draft of the script
- Storyboard the script
- Scout locations
- etc. etc. etc.
Still, I am going to make a movie. I’m not going to go into the details of the plot at this point, but I might upload a couple pics from the storyboard-in-progress to tantalize, enchant and frighten you with.
I’m very proud of the script, and I think it could be a great short film, but it’s all in the execution, folks. It’s all in the execution.
We’ll see. More to come.
A Small Positive Effect Of This Awful Cold
I can pass off a little tidbit of wisdom to you as a result of my ongoing cold.
Not only is it possible to cough and fart simultaneously, it’s quite delightful.
Household Repair Bookmark
Hi, Splotchy in the future.
In case you were wondering when exactly did the furnace stop working, it was Tuesday morning, March 12th, 2008.
You remember, when you and your entire family had that horrible cold. Yeah, that’s when.
MizSplotchy called to have it repaired later Tuesday morning, but the technician indicated after checking around that one of the parts needed wasn’t in the state of Illinois. Yes, the entire state of Illinois did not have the replacement part.
So they had the part sent overnight via UPS from Des Moines, Iowa.
Splotchy in the future, if you are considering replacing your furnace, you might want to get one that has replacement parts in the state of Illinois.
You’re welcome, and I hope you are over this cold.
Best Regards,
Splotchy from the past (cough)
Smarter Than The Average Twelve Year Old
I was cleaning up the dishes after tonight’s dinner, when the doorbell rang.
I walked over to the door and opened it. No one was there.
I opened the screen door and peeked out. A kid, probably eleven or twelve years old, was about twenty feet away from me, striding quickly away from our house with his dog.
I called after him, “Can I help you?”
He turned and shouted, “I didn’t ring your doorbell,” to which I replied, “Who said anything about a doorbell?”
“I don’t know,” he said, and walked off.
SPLOTCHY: 1
TWELVE YEAR OLD PUNK: 0
You Know That Post About Me Being An Online Drama Queen?
I deleted it.
But, rest assured, I am an online drama queen.
To those who did manage to read the post, I got rid of it because I felt I was being a little jerky to the comedy folks. Probably because I’m, y’know, a little emotional and stuff.
Love,
Splotchy
A Pretty Super Tuesday
I usually don’t blog about my day-to-day affairs, but this was kind of a fun day.
After work, I:
1) Attended the world premiere of Osso Bucco. It was being shown as part of the first 2008 installment of the Midwest Independent Film Festival. A lot of the cast and crew were present for the screening, including the lead, Mike Starr.
What, you don’t know him? Here, let me help:
Yeah, that guy!
I talked to him briefly at the after-show get-together. He seemed like a really nice guy. I had thought to myself if I got drunk enough I would harangue him into recreating one of his scenes from GoodFellas (with me playing the DeNiro part, of course). Thankfully for all parties concerned, I did not get that drunk.
I should note that Mr. Starr is still available for adoption.
Even cooler than meeting Mike Starr was meeting someone I had not seen for twenty years. I was in line for some food and thought I recognized someone. It turned out he was a grocery bagger at a supermarket in Springfield, Illinois at the same time I was. I was only sixteen at the time. I remember he was one of the bright spots of working there — he was funny and profane. Tonight we didn’t really talk too much as things were rather hectic, but it was really cool seeing him again.
2) Encouraging Signs
I have been a little down and/or worried about my new blog. I had my doubts there was that much negative signage around. Well, in the mall containing the movie theater showing Osso Bucco I saw several instances of negative signage. On my walk to the Belmont El stop I saw several instances of negative signage. On my walk from the downtown Jackson stop to Union Station I saw several instances of negative signage. Even Union Station had negative signage! That’s right! Union motherf*cking Station! I feel better now.
3) As I was walking to find a seat on the 11:40pm train, I noticed a guy wearing an Obama jacket, and some other political looking people. I decided to sit near them and chat them up. It turns out they had just come from an Obama rally at the Hyatt. One of them was repeatedly checking election results from his cellphone. Another person was Illinois State Representative Linda Chapa LaVia.
What, you don’t know her? Here, let me help:
Still nothing?
Anyways, it was an interesting few hours. I hope your Tuesday was Super, or at least a little bit Fat.