Answers for the sixth quiz!

You might want to first check out the questions.

Sword 1 – Joust

What more can I say about this game other than “HELL YEAH”?

Best…game…ever…

Sword 2 – Crossbow

Do you remember this game? I remember being really impressed by the graphics and sound effects when it came out. You used a gun to shoot at monsters and such that were menacing some very slow people walking across the screen, whose protection was your responsibility. The gun was actually in the shape of a crossbow. I sucked at it, but appreciated the game’s greatness nonetheless.

Sword 3 – Ghosts ‘n Goblins

One of the freaking hardest games I have ever played. It’s so difficult it’s not even fun to play. IT JUST MAKES ME ANGRY.

I purposely took a screenshot of me getting killed to show how hard this game is. That’s me as the skeleton after getting touched by a stupid zombie.

Sword 4 – Gauntlet

Warrior is ABOUT to DIE! From what I have read, there is no end to this game, which is a shame. Ah, what does it matter. I suck at it.

Sword 5 – Rastan

I wasn’t very good at this game, but I still had fun playing. It might be hard to tell, but that monster dude is throwing juggling pins at me.

Sword 6 – Golden Axe

NOW we’re talking! This game was a lot of fun. You could use magic, you could ride on dragons, you fought skeletons — it was a nice time.

According to Golden Axe’s Wikipedia entry, the screams in the game were sampled from the films First Blood and Conan the Barbarian.

Putting the smackdown on a sword-wielding skeleton

Kicking ass with a dragon – the red one that shoots fireballs is the best.

Teaching the game boss Death Adder that you don’t mess with Splotchy (at least not when he can hit “Continue” until he wins)

After I put this quiz up, it occurred to me that I hadn’t included one of the most popular swords ‘n sorcery game — Dragon’s Lair.

I would have updated the quiz to include it, but I don’t actually have this game. For some reason, I feel it’s necessary that the sound clips and screenshots for these quizzes are actually taken by me as I play the game. So, no Dragon’s Lair on the quiz.

Dragon’s Lair was actually a laserdisc game where the player had somewhat restricted movement within the game. You had to move or press the button at the right time to continue on with the story, which was actually old-fashioned animation done by Don Bluth.

Even though it wasn’t part of the quiz, I’ll include a video of it.

Here’s the “attract mode” from Dragon’s Lair. See if you can spot the subtle objectification of women.

Answers for the fifth quiz!

Do yourself a favor and don’t look at the answers before you sample the questions.

Mano a Mano 1 – Popeye

I wasn’t the best at this game, but it was still pretty darned fun. You could eat your spinach and punch the crap out of Bluto, but more satisfying to me was to punch a barrel that would fall on the peabrain’s head.

Mano a Mano 2 – Punch-Out!!

One of my all-time favorite games. It had some awesome voice samples and nice gameplay. The second guy, Piston Hurricane, would often kick my ass. Still, a great game.

Mano a Mano 3 – Double Dragon

One of the few games I can say I mastered. And it was all due to this elbow move.

You could pick up the occasional whip or baseball bat to pummel people with, but the elbow was always the sure bet.

Like many games of its type, the purpose of your hunky protagonist was to rescue a ravishing damsel in distress. The opening to this game was a little disturbing, in that not only did the bad guys steal your girl, they first punched her in the gut.

Not nice, bad guys of Double Dragon! Not nice!

Mano a Mano 4 – Bad Dudes Vs. Dragon Ninja

This game is very similar to Double Dragon. It was probably trying to capitalize on the success of the earlier videogame. I don’t think it came close to matching Double Dragon’s popularity — probably because it was missing the elbow move and the gut punch to an attractive lady. The game at the Spaceport arcade where I played this would occasionally freeze. I would then go tell the attendant about the problem in order to get reimbursed. He would ask what game had the problem, and I, a reasonably grown man, would have to respond, “Bad dudes.”

Mano a Mano 5 – Mortal Kombat

Ah, the first in a long line of fighting games that I have no hope to master. You can do a large variety attacks with combinations of joystick moves and five(!) buttons. I prefer Sub-Zero, ’cause that’s how I roll.

Mano a Mano 6 – Karate Champ – Player Vs Player

Another game I sucked at that I still liked to play on occasion. The controls were unusual — two joysticks and no buttons. You could do different karate moves depending on the directions you pulled the joystick. Some nice sound effects, especially the referee saying “full point” or “half point”. I never could figure out how to avoid getting stomped by the bull in the bonus round. Stupid bull.

Answers for the fourth quiz!

For heaven’s sakes, don’t look at the answers before you sample the questions.

Ship 1 – Asteroids

Sure, graphics, sounds, etc. are much more realistic nowadays, but you get in this spaceship and find yourself drifting into large rocks, with an alien spaceship scooting by and throwing out bullets, and you’ll find it’s still some pretty damned good gameplay.

Ship 2 – Galaga

I never dug this game. When my brother was in college in the early 80’s at ISU, comedian Gallagher, who was just then starting to pick up steam, and was in town for a show, dropped by an arcade where my brother happened to be at, and joked that they named this game after him. Very funny, Gallagher. Very funny.

Ship 3 – Zaxxon

I suck at this game too much to comment on it. Okay, I will say that I love the weird windy whistling in the background, and love the sounds of the lasers the ship shoots. And I suck at this game really hard.

Ship 4 – Gyruss

Didn’t play this game too much, but when I did the music part of it made it really enjoyable. However, if I had to choose between this game and Tempest, I’d choose Tempest every time.

Ship 5 – Time Pilot

This game I played a handful of times. I enjoyed playing it, but wasn’t so good. I don’t think I ever got to the last stage (UFOs in the year 2001!).

Answers for the third(!) quiz!

For heaven’s sakes, don’t look at the answers before you sample the questions.

Gun 1 – Berzerk

One of the first games to use voice synthesis. Definitely the first game to use voice synthesis to say “Chicken! Fight like a robot!”

Gun 2 – Wizard Of Wor

What, you say this game is visually similar to Gorf? Why, how observant of you. It was created by the same company, after all.

Gun 3 – Elevator Action

I know, I know, it don’t look like much. But this game is awesome with a capital ‘awe’. Take a look at me killing a guy with my ass. Suh-weet!

Gun 4 – Rolling Thunder

A very enjoyable game. Lots of jumping, hopping through stacks of tires, going in and out of doors, and, above all, killing people with your gun.

Gun 5 – Narc

A pretty darned violent game. The bad guys spew blood as you fill them with hot lead. You can also cause a shower of body parts with a shot from your trusty rocket launcher. You can even shoot vicious dogs!

I’m guessing that the background visuals in this game originated from pictures taken in and around the Chicago area, though the game designers played a little fast and loose with the pictures once they were digitized.

Note the background in the picture is the Addison stop of the Red Line. This is the stop right next to Wrigley Field, and, unlike how it is portrayed in the game, is not an underground stop.

Another little thing to note —

see how the Addison sign says “B Station” — the Red Line used to have “A” and “B” trains and “A” and “B” stops, supposedly to improve the speed of the train service. This was discontinued about a decade ago.

Next (and potentially last) quiz… mano-a-mano!

Okay, second quiz answers now. Find the questions here. Two more quizzes left. Can you smell the excitement? You might want to check your oven.

Wheels 1 – Pole Position

This was the first driving game I saw in the arcade that looked pretty cool, with a nice use of perspective. It’s been done a thousand times better since, but this was the thing back in “the day.”

Wheels 2 – Moon Patrol

This is one of my favorite games. It’s a helluva lotta fun, and you really feel the motion and excitement as you’re driving while being attacked by spaceships, molecules and clods of dirt.

Wheels 3 – Paperboy

I still think this is one damn fine looking game. It’s kind of difficult throwing papers and have them hit people’s porches/mailboxes, as perspective is kind of funky. Still, you haveta love a game where the young boy protagonist drops some profanity after hitting a fire hydrant.

Wheels 4 – Stocker

I could be remembering wrong, but I think that my brother was into this game. One neat thing about the game is that when you drive off the road, your car leaves dirt tracks across the grass. A dumb movie fact: in The Color of Money, Tom Cruise’s character Vincent is introduced playing Stocker, so that’s something, I guess. I was going to include Spy Hunter in my quiz instead of this game, but wasn’t able to capture a decent sound sample. Ah, well.

Wheels 5 – Kick

This game is a lot of fun. You control a clown on a unicycle, moving him left and right with a trackball. You catch balloons on his head — sometimes they pop, sometimes they stick to your head and you slowly build up a big hat o’ balloons. One of my favorite games, though it kind of sucks playing through a MAME emulator on the keyboard, as you can’t whip the clown back and forth as fast you would be able to via a trackball.

Next quiz… guys with guns (including my all-time favorite arcade game)!