More couplets in the guise of rap lyrics given away for nothing on Twitter.  Some suck.  Some are okay.

Stealing the mail and the Sunday paper
Earning the ire of your fascist neighbor

Staring at the door to the room you sublet
Cleaning scrambled eggs off your diamond bracelet

passable, poseable
instantly disposable

Catalog your fears, catalog your dreams
Catalog what the mailman brings

Some have friendships, some drown in beers
Some have brilliant, heartless careers

Humdrum and parochial
Guileless and colloquial

Today is important, it’s something big
It deserves this very fancy wig

Anger, laughter, oversharing
Are no substitutes for caring

Sniffing glue, eating paste
Sometimes there’s no accounting for taste

You, with the insect eyes and the spider fingers texting
With the face that’s swollen from multiple bee stings

Awash in debt, drowning in pools
Check out our website promotional tools

Ready for what fortune brings
From the many doings of things

Yarn, wiring, hammers, and bones
Milk crates full of rotary phones

Who would want to unfollow me
For sharing little bits of poetry?

IP lawyers scrap and fight
Praying at the altar of copyright

Hands and elbows, knees and feets
Ingesting all the crunchy beats

Angry, scornful, looking askance
At the backup singers with the magic pants

The tourists flock to familiar perches
Photographing all the ruins and churches

Dead-eyed gamblers, low high rollers
The angry screams of fucked-up bowlers

Google Analytics, hot apple pie
Larks’ Tongues In Aspic and curly fries

Sprained tendons, Shattered bone
My favorite flavor of ice cream cone

Like a comfortable chair where nobody sat
A trick pulled from a bad writer’s hat

A while back I did a month’s worth of couplets. It was fun.

I haven’t really done any concentrated poetry writing or anything, but when the mood strikes me, I’ll zip one off to Twitter with the hashtag #RapLyricsFree4Use. I don’t know why I add that hashtag. Okay, I do know why. It’s a way of distancing me from the words I am writing.

I’m writing poetry, people! But If I put that silly hashtag on it, I can say, “Well, it was me just goofing around.” It *is* me goofing around, but I wouldn’t post something I didn’t like or didn’t want other people to see.

Anyways, I did a Twitter search and found some old tweets with this hashtag. A couple I didn’t like at all, so am not including here. I didn’t delete them, so you can go look for the damn things and marvel at the badness.

I was actually surprised by some of the tiny poems. I didn’t remember them. I loved the hard drive full of pig pics. I don’t know that I can ever top that one.

A caramel hammer
A peppermint crow
A scooped-out orange filled with dirty snow

Avoiding every little accusatory look
Erasing eyes from the faces in my history book

A misplaced cup and saucer falls
While humor drips down the coffeehouse walls

Draped in velour
Walking on shag
Wiping your mouth with a dirty rag

Say man, hey, what the hell is it to ya
Making light of all my deeply personal minutiae

I love language
There, I said it
No need to ask this question on Reddit

Some people fight and some have spats
Some argue on the Internet with their cats

Where you were is where you are
Using lighting and makeup to conceal your scar

Every interaction a possible infection
A denial of the chance of human connection

Your old friend’s hard drive’s full of pigs
Gigs and gigs of pics of pigs

Coasting through life, refusing blame
Driving like an asshole in a video game

She only wore shoes with chunky soles
And prized her set of ceremonial bowls

I want my heart to be Sabbath and Led Zeppelin
But it’s always closer to Belle & Sebastian

All the sycophants were on hand
Pretending not to understand

Phenolphthalein, patricide
Unimpeachably country-fried

Sobbing, smiling, running, laughing
Everyone is waiting for exciting things to happen

I don’t believe in the royal we
An’ I always spell gravy with a capital G

Doing the things we most despise
Tweeting little honeypots for bad replies