I come from a long line of intentional mispronouncers. A favorite catchphrase of my dad’s is “Hope to sh*t in your mess kit!” spoken in the same context and tone of voice as “Have a nice day.” I still have no idea what the hell it means.

My dad is also big with the spoonerisms, and permanently scarred my older brother by having him learn the phrase “Chi Chi Boo Boo” when waving goodbye to a train. Needless to say, I did not fare much better than my brother.

So, I am now stuck with a habit of intentionally mispronouncing words in casual conversation.

I couldn’t find any word to describe this concept, so I’m making one up. A stiglet — an intentionally mispronounced word.

There’s really only one stiglet that I can use quite a bit, and believe me, I use it quite a bit. Click on the word to hear how it sounds coming out of my piehole.

money

The rest I use when I can, but they don’t come up that often.

fajitas
psychiatrist
pneumonia (you see where this is going don’t you?)

On very rare occasions, I’ll hear a word mispronounced and adopt it as my own. Here’s a favorite of mine:

saxophone