Category Archives: twitter

twitter, youtube

Humor From The Twitter

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Last week, I was having a conversation with some people on the Twitter as I have been known to do.

The Twilight Zone came up. For some reason, I got an idea in my head that it would be funny to accentuate the twist one often finds at the end of an episode with a sad trombone sound effect.

Shortly after, one of my Twitter pals (@unsupervised) made up this delightful video.

In the same conversation, another person said “Yakety Sax” (aka the Benny Hill show theme song) would be a nice addition to to the ending of another Twilight Zone episode, for which @unsupervised immediately created the following clip.

Thanks, Twitter! Thanks, @unsupervised!

twitter

I’m God’s Lonely Man…

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Oh fuck you, Twitter.

Hey folks, are you like me? Do you have natural defenses you carry around with you everyday, a “personality cushion” that protects the scared little child deep inside, that you use to interact with people in the cold, heartless outside world?

Does this cushion somehow not exist when you’re on the Internet? My cushion works like that (or rather, doesn’t work). My feelings can get very easily hurt. It sucks.

A couple people unfollowed me on Twitter recently. It bugged me. I mean, it *really* fucking bugged me. Why? I don’t know. It’s like a form of rejection. And the insidious thing is, you’re not notified that you’re being unfollowed. Okay, maybe that’s good. I don’t know. And I don’t know why they unfollowed me. Was I too verbose? Did I insult their sensibilities? Was I too ethnic?

Who the fuck knows. Okay, I am a fucking pisser. I unfollowed those fucking motherfuckers that unfollowed me.

But it didn’t stop there. I found a website, Friend Or Follow, whereby I could find out who I was following that wasn’t following me.

Holy shit, there were a lot of people that *used* to follow me that had apparently stopped following me at some point. THOSE FUCKERS. THOSE DIRTY MOTHERFUCKERS.

There are of course celebrities and such that aren’t going to follow you. That’s fine. And if I want to follow Harry Hamlin, I’m not expecting him to follow me. But what about all the peons such as myself? Well, to me there is an implied reciprocity. I follow you, you follow me. Simple. But then you go and surreptitiously unfollow me? Well, fuck you.

I was following 220 people earlier today. Now I am following 126. Take it away, Travis…

P.S. Um, there are a lot of people that are following me that I am not following back. I’m working on rectifying that, okay? SHEESH.

P.P.S. I unfollowed Harry Hamlin.

twitter

Art, Impermanence, Peace, Love, God, Universe, Twitter, Etc.

2 Comments

I was thinking about my movie on the train today.

I started posting to Twitter about it. I loved the idea of hashing out my half-baked thoughts on a site that:

1) Enforces a 140 character limit per post
2) As a result of this limit discourages anything but non-sequiturs, or thoughts that can be reduced to a bite-sized nugget
3) Is a forum that exudes impermanence

Oh, the Library of Congress is supposedly going to archive posts from Twitter, but who wants to look at that? Wouldn’t it be like going through your grocery lists from 2006?

I love the idea of collecting my train of thought from Twitter and posting it on a blog, which has its own issues with impermanence (see The Blogger’s Hyperbola).

Anyway, here you go. The links below lead to the respective Twitter post that contains them. Or something like that. Go read a book.

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Art is too easily consumed these days, but it’s also easily disseminated. There’s a causal relation, I imagine.

Art that resists easy consumption is something that requires you to move through significant time with it..

What is significant time? Hm, an hour?

Art that resists easy consumption: books, feature films.

There are spaces that encourage contemplation of art, of course. (galleries)

What is easy consumption? I don’t know exactly. Maybe it’s art that just pings off the surface of you.

I love that art is easily disseminated. That is a pretty awesome thing.

I saw that Pixels movie a few times. Inventive, funny, well-made. But I did not carry anything back from it.

Maybe part of the reason was the film itself, but also perhaps because I ate it like a cheeseburger.

I posted a link to my movie on a thread on a comedy forum I frequent.

A guy posted a video after mine that was him talking straight to the camera.

It bothers me that a consumer of those two videos might not recognize the effort I put forth.

Ah well. It’s not the effort, it’s the final “product” I guess. I am being a little pissy.

Either I need to learn how to do things easier, or gladly accept the effort required to accomplish something.

Probably both. Okay, done now.

P.S. All the effort was worth it. And fun.

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movies, twitter, two buck schmuck

Couples Retweet

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I only have to work Monday this week, so the rest of my time leading up to Thanksgiving can be devoted to developing my eight-pack abs and watching shitty movies.

Okay, watching shitty movies.

What were my choices?

Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs – Nope!

This Is It – I’m pretty sure it isn’t, but thank you.

Where The Wild Things Are – I was all excited about this until I realized it was not in fact a sequel to The Wild Life.

Couples Retreat – LET’S GO.

I got the great idea of live-tweeting my moviewatching experience. I sat near the back of the theater and got my phone and my typing fingers ready.

Sadly, during the film I realized that to properly live-tweet a movie, you have to be sitting in the VERY back row of the theater. Unless, of course, you don’t mind getting repeatedly punched in the back of the head by people who for some reason don’t like the life-giving glow of your mobile phone.

Regardless of this, I’m going to let my Tweets stand as a review of this film. Enjoy!

7:10pm – Live-tweeting Couples Retreat in a cheap theater. GO

7:10pm – It is only me & 4 annoying teens here.

7:11pm – Wait! A “couple” just walked in.

7:11pm – Bob Marley’s Legend on the sound system.

7:12pm – Another couple-

7:12pm – I have always loved “Stir It Up”. Genuinely.

7:13pm – Movie is supposed to start at 7:15pm.

7:13pm – This is kind of like live-tweeting Crank 2, except not really.

7:14pm – I hope I anger no one. I’m a sweetheart.

7:15pm – lights out

9:12pm – Sorry, somebody sat behind me. It was shittt

9:12pm – shitty

movies, name that face, twitter

Name That Face: Round 1 Prizes

1 Comment

UPDATE:

The winners have chosen their prizes.

@debenham gets the Mr. T rubber stamp!
@johndstearns gets the crab robot!
@ajonathancox gets the autographed 8×10 of Jim Belushi!
@SamuraiFrog gets the DVD of On The Right Track!
@keithwade gets the Hitchcock Truffaut book!

Winners, please email me at the address listed on my profile to tell me where to send your well-earned booty.

Thanks!

****************

Hi,

So, the first round of Name That Face has been up and running for a while, but as June ends, so too shall Round 1.

The five highest point-earners will be awarded prizes. I thought of what I think is a neat way of giving the prizes out.

The highest point-earner gets to choose a prize out of the five available. The next highest point-winner will choose from the four remaining prizes, and so on, until the fifth highest point-winner hopefully likes whatever crap the other four people didn’t want.

Anyways, here are the prizes for Round 1, in no particular order.

A DVD of the famous Gary-Coleman-lives-in-a-train-locker dramedy On The Right Track! I saw this about a bejillion times when I was a kid, and imagine it still retains the whimsy I faintly remember.

A signed 8×10 of Jim Belushi! It has a few scuff marks, which you might be able to see from the scan. Note: I did not personally obtain this autograph — I bought it at a collectible store near my house. I’m wagering it’s authentic, as I do not know why someone would attempt to fake a Jim Belushi signature.

A wonderful book, consisting of interviews of Alfred Hitchcock conducted by fellow director François Truffaut.

A crab robot. It’s pretty cool. What does it have to do with faces? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Cut out all the paperwork jibber-jabber with this stylish Mr. T rubber stamp!

I’ll probably take a break (and give Twitter followers a little break as well) for a week or so after Round 1, then I guess I’ll crank up Round 2. I was planning on resetting everyone’s points back to zero for the next round to even the playing field. I’ll still keep the tally of Round 1 for posterity’s sake (assuming that anything related to Twitter should have posterity).

Okay, thanks a lot for playing.

P.S. For people unable to get into the top five, I do have web-based complimentary awards that are available for the taking.

name that face, twitter

Name That Face!

8 Comments

**********
UPDATE:
Round 1 of the contest has been completed!

Final tally below.

You can see what pics I have been using here.

**********

Hi kids, it’s Splotchy, with yet another idea to brighten your day.

I have created a new Twitter account called Name That Face! where I will post pictures of various people — actors, politicians, musicians, etc.

Your goal will be the first to identify the face in the photo. Sometimes there will be bonus points given for additional information.

To play this game, just start following Name That Face on the Twitter (you’ll of course have to get a Twitter account).

I’ll keep a running tally of everyone’s scores, and store it (for now, at least) on this post.

By the way, here is the first picture:

I am giving an extra point if you tell me what movie this still is from.

Remember, don’t name the face here. Name it in a reply to my NameThatFace account on the Twitter.

Toodles!

FINAL TALLY:
ROUND 1 has ended.

@debenham – 80 points
@johndstearns – 66 points
@ajonathancox – 64 points
@SamuraiFrog – 44 points
@keithwade – 37 points
@Goose – 29 points
@glands – 14 points
@mariecarnes – 13 points
@TimRussell – 12 points
@unsupervised – 9 points
@aenematron – 9 points
@MyNameIsGaron – 8 points
@genegeorge – 7 points
@liezl – 6 points
@JoeTheCop – 6 points
@Nyen_van_Toc – 6 points
@DougBenson – 5 points
@HAMMER32 – 5 points
@1082118 – 5 points
@Xpandurmind247 – 5 points
@stevesaragossi – 5 points
@BrandonMLytle – 4 points
@nathansmart – 3 points
@Caissie – 3 points
@jeffstearns – 3 points
@bakinslow – 3 points
@BunnyKickButt – 3 points
@benwiers – 3 points
@wolfsothern – 3 point
@jim_mee – 2 points
@twitcaps – 2 points
@Johnichi – 2 points
@SnapTheJap – 2 points
@CathyofTO – 2 points
@jeffkeyz – 2 points
@MattackTheDj – 2 points
@angelmartinez12 – 2 points
@saxamaphone1 – 2 points
@eliter – 2 points
@dpressman – 2 points
@Dhppy – 2 points
@tvpam – 2 points
@FamousPoliceDog – 1 point
@glenstar 1 point
@AndeeD – 1 point
@jintastic – 1 point
@ohsnapwnt – 1 point
@tatgirl09 – 1 point
@juntender – 1 point
@jaycee419 – 1 point
@marshandy – 1 point
@david0071978 – 1 point
@rowritermom – 1 point
@stevethegreat – 1 point
@JumptankRT – 1 point