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Gayest Video Ever Poll Closes at 5:00pm Today

Hi,

The arbitrary voting for Gayest Video Ever ™ will end today, at 5:00pm CDT (That’s Thursday, 30 August 2007 12:00am GMT for our friends outside the US).

Here’s the current tally. I don’t want to pick the winner yet, but Frank Sirmarco is the favorite to take home The Schneider.

Lionel Richie – All Night Long (1 vote)
Sting – Fortress Around Your Heart (1 vote)
Queen – I Want To Break Free (1 vote)
Wham – Wake Me Up (4 votes)
Baltimora – Tarzan Boy (2 votes)
Billy Squier – Rock Me Tonite (1 vote)

If you haven’t yet voted, please do so. US citizenship is not a requirement!

FINAL VOTE TALLY!
Lionel Richie – All Night Long (1 vote)
Sting – Fortress Around Your Heart (2 votes)
Queen – I Want To Break Free (1 vote)
Wham – Wake Me Up (4 votes)
Baltimora – Tarzan Boy (3 votes)
Billy Squier – Rock Me Tonite (4 votes)

I Suppose We Can Have An Arbitrary Vote Now

Enough people have provided entries for the Gayest Video Ever ™ contest, that I feel a vote can take place.

On the walk back from lunch, I had an inspiration for the award which will be given to the winner of this contest.

The Schneider

It’s part B-52’s frontman, part sitcom handyman, all delicious.

And now, the candidates:
_______________________________

Bear Force 1 – submitted by Bad Art Global

Queen – I Want To Break Free – submitted by Allen L.

Wham – Wake Me Up – submitted by Frank Sirmarco

Peter Cetera – The Glory Of Love – submitted by Distributorcap

Baltimora – Tarzan Boy – submitted by Pat

Culture Club – Karma Chameleon – submitted by Manx

Sting – Fortress Around Your Heart submitted by Splotchy (I am not also submitting the Leo Sayer song or Limahl video, as my original post already indicated my belief that the Sting video was the gayest. Still, they are both pretty gay and worth a looksee.)

Billy Squier – Rock Me Tonite submitted by SamuraiFrog (anandamide also submitted this entry a little later, unaware that it had already been submitted — there was gay video karma in the ether, I think)

Lionel Richie – All Night Long submitted by Doctor Monkey Von Monkerstein

_______________________________

I couldn’t in good conscience include this infomercial by the lads of Air Supply submitted by Jess. Although it is deafeningly gay with sprinkles, it’s just not a music video.

If I left out anyone, just let me know. This is an extremely shoddy contest I have pushed together with the faintest whiff of an effort.

Vote early and often.

Five Snotty Facts

To go with the recent Snotty-Ass Rock ‘N Roll Mix, here are some honest-to-goodness true snotty facts about me.

  1. I like the phrase “Git-R-Done”. I like the way it looks, and I like the way it sounds. I don’t care that it came out of that unfunny nimrod Larry The Cable Guy’s piehole. I just like it.
  2. I believe there should be a limit to how much wealth one can accumulate. There should no such thing as a billionaire, or even a multi-millionaire. You want to be rich, use your money to build a f*cking time machine and go to France in the days right before the Revolution.
  3. I like fart jokes.
  4. I hate tucking my shirt in. I absolutely hate it. If you like tucking your shirt in, you’re a f*cking moron.
  5. I’m sick of solemn references to 09/11. Yes, people died. Stop talking about it, unless you want to make a funny reference to it.

I TAG NO ONE

How Do You Feel About…


On my other blog, for the current band I’m highlighting, Mr. Speed (a KISS tribute band), regular visitors Flannery Alden and Jess have politely abstained from voting.

They have been really supportive of my writing both here and on my new blog, for which I am eternally thankful. They have also both had some marvelous insights regarding band dynamics.

There are countless possible reasons why they chose to abstain, but I inferred my own reasons, and now I have a strange little thought rattling around in my head. Was the vote declined due to an underlying hostility to KISS?

Then it got me thinking. How do people in general feel about KISS? They were absolutely huge back when I was a kid. They have made a reasonably large splash in the pop culture pool.

I know how I feel about them, but I want to know how you feel about them.

So?

A Promise To Coaster Punchman

For some reason, a post I read on Coaster Punchman’s blog over a month ago has stuck in my mind.

1. I’ve always hated the word “balls” in reference to the male anatomy. I find that word to be incredibly vulgar. I don’t know why.

I’m going to try and use the word “balls” less, but I would appreciate a replacement word.

Answers and Questions

Enclosed please find answers to the five random questions posed by Bubs:

1. You’re stuck in a flesh-eating zombie apocalypse. Would you rather deal with Romero shambling zombies who are learning to use tools and weapons, or insensible but crazy fast Dawn of the Dead remake zombies? Compare and contrast.

This is a no-brainer for me (har-di-har har).

First, I have to set something straight. I’m going to have to say that if the undead that are trying to eat your brain are moving faster than an elderly woman with a walker, THEY ARE NOT ZOMBIES.

That point aside, I’d still have to go with the slow-moving braineaters.

I would probably freeze, scared witless, when confronted by some creature barreling down at me at full speed. If it was slower, I feel I could maybe handle the situation a little better.

And if zombies were starting learn how to do complex things like handling tools and weapons, perhaps they could also be reasoned with.

2. Who’s the first female cartoon or comic book character you had a crush on?

I actually had to think about this for a while. I’d have to say it would be Black Widow, primarily from her appearances in the Marvel comic Daredevil.

Here’s a list of her many charms.
a) She has dark auburn hair.
b) She has a killer body in tight-fitting dark clothing (imagine that — a comic book superhero female character with an outrageously voluptuous body in a tight-fitting costume)
c) Her real name is Natasha and she is Russian. Superman had his weakness in Kryptonite. Mine is women with eastern-European accents. And Natasha is the absolute sexiest female name ever.

Sigh.


3. What makes your wife/girlfriend/significant other a saint in regards to her relationship with you?

“Black Widow means nothing to me, honey, I swear!”

Well, there are many praises to sing, but to answer specifically your question of what makes her a “saint”…

She is incredibly supportive. I’ll say something is important to me, and she’ll be right there helping me make it happen.

As I’ve mentioned before, I have recurring problems with anxiety. She’s very patient when I have these episodes, probably more patient than she should be.

She tolerates me, let’s face it. She’s a deep, good-hearted person.

4. Batman or James Bond?

Though I would hate to have my parents killed as a young child, I’d say Batman all the way. He’s brilliant, moody, has a great costume, and carries just a whole vibe which is so much cooler than stupid James Bond. Plus, James Bond is a tool of the man. Batman is about doing what’s right.

5. If you could do anything in the world that you wanted to do (assuming you’re not already doing it now) what would it be? For a living, for fun, whatever.

a) My liberal conscience would like me to be a public interest lawyer.
b) If I could make a living doing music, that’d be nice, though I wouldn’t want to tour a lot, being away from my family.
c) I’m not sure if I would like making a living doing the stressful job of a film director, but I suppose I could take a whack at that, too. Ditto about not being away from the family over long stretches of time.

Thanks so much for these probing questions! Now it’s my turn to ask my own set of random questions.

1. Choose one superpower: super strength, super speed, or invisibility. Explain your choice.

2. What’s the weirdest music in your collection?

3. Name a place where you never have lived, but have always thought would be a good place to settle down.

4. Have you ever seen, or been in the presence of, a ghost?

5. What should be a crime that currently isn’t? What’s currently a crime that shouldn’t be?

I am tagging:

SamuraiFrog
Tim
Manx
Jess
Mob

Bubs, feel free to answer these questions as well. I might take a whack at the ones Barbara asked you.

Love,

Splotchy