You have been warned.

Leave your questions in the comments.

…

A) Monday morning
B) Sunday morning
C) Pie
D) John Ratzenberger

Leave your questions in the comments.

Beckeye:
Hey, blog post. What’s up?

Not much. After being published I am just sitting here, waiting to field questions. Thanks for starting me out.

Randal G:
Are you by any chance related to lamp post?

I get that sometimes. As far as I have been able to trace my genealogy, there is no relation.

The Imaginary Reviewer:
Which company offers the best long-distance calls service?

Being a blog post, I have not had the occasion to make anything but local calls. I look forward to a post of yours dedicated to comparing the likes of WatsonComeHere ™ and Strudel Cell ©.

Jess Wundrun:
Where am I?

You are taking a staycation at the friendly confines of I, Splotchy.

Chef Cthulhu:
Why is it so hard to flush a grapefruit down the shitter?

I’d say the problem isn’t your grapefuit, it’s your shitter. Time to upgrade.

Bob:
Blog post — if none of us read you, would you still be here?

Splotchy promises to not let me wink out of existence, as long as I am a good little Blog Post.

Flannery Alden:
What do you and the other posts like to talk about when Splotchy logs out?

Mostly smack talk and recipe-swapping.

Comrade Kevin:
If you were a primary color, would you declare war on all the other primary colors?

No, but the tertiary colors would be wise to duck and cover.

Puddy:
Boxers of briefs?

Boxers AND Briefs — BEHOLD!

Barbara
Who would win in a mud wrestling fight, Twitter or Facebook?

Twitter.