Category Archives: word fun

Google Will Not Say That

I was monkeying around with Google a bit.

One nice feature of Google is that if you accidentally mistype something you’re searching for, Google tries to guess the text that you intended to type.

I’ll actually use this as a feature in some cases. Say there’s a scientific phenomena or some other such thing for which I can’t quite remember the proper name.

I’ll pop a close approximation of it into Google, and I’ll usually be able to get the correct spelling of what I’m looking for after hitting “Search”, often displayed to me as:

Did you mean: [correctly spelled term]

So, I thought it would be funny if I got Google to say something naughty, like Did you mean: asshole

But dammit, it appears that Google doesn’t like to swear.

I did a little scientific experiment, using a more common expletive, “asshole” and compared it with a lesser-used though no less colorful word, “asswipe”.

First, let’s type in the words with their correct spelling.

Search for asshole:

Ooh! Over 24 million hits. That’s a pretty popular swear word.

Now let’s search for asswipe:

That’s not a shabby search result total, but at under 400,000 that’s significantly smaller than the results for asshole.

Now, let’s intentionally misspell both words, in the exact same manner.

Let’s search for asssdwipee

Hmm, no results, but Google thinks I might be looking for “asswipe”.

Now let’s search for asssdholee

No results, and Google has no suggestions for me! It doesn’t matter that “asshole” brings back 60 times the results that “asswipe” does, and that I am misspelling the two words in the same exact manner. Sorry, Google cannot help you!

__________________________________________

I am of course not constructing a scientific theory backed up by hills of proofs and anecdotal evidence.

However, I challenge you to type in some text in Google where it will suggest the word “asshole” as what you were really searching for. Come to think of it, why not also try to get Google to suggest any of the seven dirty words?

UPDATE:

My brother took my challenge, and I must say I am impressed.

(Not Really) Misheard Lyrics, Vol 4

Here’s another song for which I have substituted my own superior lyrics.

The song is “The Best Is Yet To Come”, and was written by Cole Porter. I’m sure many people have recorded it, but the version I’m most familiar with was recorded by Frank Sinatra.

I only sing my special version of this song when I am having a really bad day, so if you hear me doing it, you may want to steer clear.

Frank Sinatra – “The Best Is Yet To Come”
What I Sing
The best is yet to come, you dirty motherf*ckers

Actual Lyrics
The best is yet to come, and won’t that be fine

How To Insult A Periodical

Just add stupid.

Observe:

1) The New York Stupid Times
2) Stupid Newsweek
3) U.S. Stupid News And Stupid World Report
4) Stupid People Magazine
5) The Wall Street Stupid
6) The Sacramento Stupid Bee
7) Stupid, Stupid Foreign Affairs
8) In Stupid Style
9) Stupid Washington Stupid Post Stupid
10) The Chicago Sun-Stupid

Alright, I Guess I Am Going To Have To Step Up

Hey, it’s still January, idn’t it?

One last meme for January Is Meme Month. You need to answer it today, because this meme will not function during February Is No Meme Month.

It’s all about word fun, because words are fun.

Give me 1 noun, 2 verbs and 3 adjectives you like. You can also provide an optional made-up word.

Here’s mine:

1 Noun: potash
2 Verbs: sputter, fizzle
3: Adjectives: dodgy, crunchy, outlandish
4: Made-up word: glorbenacious

I tag:

Chris
Bubs
Distributorcap
DGuzman
Rider
Manx
SamuraiFrog

If I did not tag you specifically, it is only because time is of the essence. You have been tagged mentally by me.

February approaches! You have less than 24 hours to complete this meme and pass it on.

What are you waiting for?!!

GO!!!!!!!

Cute Names For Fruits and Vegetables

01. Tomatees
02. Carriots
03. Greenie Beanies
04. Oh-range-u-tans
05. Apple-dapples
06. Grapelies
07. Tangerinos
08. Punkins
09. Gollyflower
10. Brocchi
11. Pea-Peas
12. Banas
13. Strawbierries
14. Limey-wimeys
15. Abbycado
16. Mushwooms
17. Cabbage (it’s cute enough as it is)
18. Radwish
19. Tootabaga
20. Cutesy-corn

Titles In Search Of A Short Story

01. Panic At The Fortune Cookie Factory
02. The Man With Electric Teeth
03. The Cotton Candy Of Alcatraz
04. Maria And The Gutted Fish
05. Amiable Weirdness
06. Who Took My Gun?
07. Glass Spoons For A Bad Hangover
08. My Therapist’s Take On The Punishment Dream
09. The Boy With Very Weak Heat Vision
10. The Sacred Shards Tour In A Van And Meet A Zombie Alien From Parneus 7