Today I saw this advertisement on the right sidebar of one of my SiteMeter pages.
If you guessed –
B) deep-fried animal testicles
– congratulations, you’re a winner!
I Was Bummed Out About The Rain Until I Started Watching Videos Of Rain
Pistol Pete Maravich’s Wrist Pass Wizardry
My friend Lance sent me a link to this video, which was just too awesome not to share.
Lance says:
If I told you I had a three-minute instructional video that will teach you how to —
1. Startle a black man (not as easily startled as popularly believed)
2. Get ejected from events
3. Tell a rambling story
4. Make people literally eat air
5. Injure your wrists— you would not be out of line in saying, “Well, sir, I think you take me for a fool.”
Watch and learn to trust:
Tchotchke
Natalie Portman – Tchotchke
A Film Snob Meets The Bank Job
Hey, hey, hey, let’s visit the LaGrange.
What’s on tap for the 9:00-ish shows?
The Bucket List – Seeing this movie isn’t on my bucket list, nor will it likely ever be.
Fool’s Gold – Ooh, another Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson romantic comedy. I think the fact that I watched How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days on an airplane with the sound off gives me the right to skip this one.
The Bank Job – Sure, let’s go!
So there’s a few plot threads being woven in and out throughout the duration of the film, but essentially The Bank Job is a story about a group of people led by Jason Statham who rob a bank in England, and then proceed to extricate themselves from several sticky situations that arise from robbing the bank. It is based on a true story, or as the movie’s tagline puts it, “The true story of a heist gone wrong… in all the right ways.” YEAH!!!!! (that YEAH was sarcastic, by the way).
Based on the previous movies I had seen with Statham (the mind-numbingly goofy Transporter movies, the sort-of okay Jet Li vehicle The One), I was a little surprised that this movie was rather understated, with little violence or action. But there were lots of boobies. Plenty of boobies.
Statham sported probably the most comprehensive set of facial stubble I have seen since the films of Sergio Leone. Unfortunately, I did not sit through the end credits to see if a Stubble Wrangler had been employed.
An actor who played a cop in the first couple seasons of the British series Prime Suspect has a reasonably large part in this movie as, um, a cop. But he’s a bad cop! Take that, pigeonholing casting directors!
Overall, this movie was a little long, a little overcomplicated, a little light on action. But everyone talked British, so that’s something, I guess.
Cheers!
Pointers of Self-Interest
Hi-de-ho, I just want to direct your attention to some other blogs I contribute to, ’cause interesting things are afoot there.
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Tim and I have completed another month’s worth of found notes at A Blog Of Notes. I was honestly slacking this month, but Tim came through with some ridiculously awesome sounds. Tim has also just posted an excellent series of mixes of the April compile.
If you have the technology and inclination to look for musical notes in the world around you, Tim and I are always looking for sound geek contributors.
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The lovely and talented night photographer Remi Thornton, who is also a contributor to my blog The Signage Of Negative Space, recently returned from a trip to Chicago, where he took some pics of signage here and here.
This was kinda neat, in that I had previously taken pictures of these same signs. It’s kind of cool to compare and contrast our pics, and see how much better a photo can look when someone like Remi is behind the camera! It’s definitely made me step up with my “A” game (which relatively speaking is more accurately called a “B-” game).
We’re at about 150 instances of negative space signage, but would love to get more geographical regions represented that I’m certain are oozing with negative space signage — the NYC/California area, large urban centers across the world, etc.
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Who’s In Charge Here? continues to chug along. Our current band is Belle and Sebastian. Vote for the leader of the band, based on the photo I have included, but please be kind, they are sensitive folk.
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That’s all the self-pimping I have for you today! Excelsior!
Dungeons And Databases
It’s been a couple months since I last provided you with an update as to my brother’s progress on World of Warcraft (WoW).
My brother has a little problem. He’s got a little something I’m going to call “organizational mania”. It’s probably more correctly identified as a strain of your garden-variety anal-retentiveness, but lemme just call it what I want to call it.
In WoW, one’s character (or as they say in WoW, “toon”) has lots of different body parts that can be festooned with gear, and a variety of weapons that can be wielded as well. For someone playing multiple toons, it can get rather confusing as to what toon is wearing what equipment.
When I was playing WoW’s predecessor Diablo II, I would occasionally scribble down some of the belongings of my various characters. This is not a valid approach for my brother.
So, enter a new Microsoft Access Database application called Toon!. My brother wrote Toon! to keep track of all his characters’ gear.
In my brother’s words:
I created it was so I could check to see if any new item that dropped would be an improvement in equipment on any of my characters. In order to complete the database I had to overcome the following challenges:
1. I needed to concatenate all modifications into one line because MS Access does not permit nesting sub forms.
2. I needed to be able to minimize the application window to use as little screen space as possible (allowing me to easily enter data while having the game running).
3. Also wanted a “nice to have”, that any new modification type encountered (strength, intelligence, attack power, etc.) would be automatically added to the modifications table.Originally I was planning on using the report as a paper print-out and marking it up with updates, but I’ve since streamlined by making updates directly to the database. Still, the report is useful to have as an “at a glance” tool while playing.
So, please enjoy these screenshots of Toon!, a database application written by my crazy-organized brother.
Please note that in some of the thumbnails only a partial view of an application screen is displayed. Click on an image to view the app in its full screen glory.
Main screen (it’s more functional than fancy-looking)
Screen to add a new toon: 
Screen to edit an existing toon (can update toon data and edit equipment carried or worn by toon):
Screen to edit an individual piece of equipment on a toon:
Report of all items worn by toon:
Appropriate Yet Obnoxious
I was meeting my brother for lunch the other today. He works in a skyscraper in downtown Chicago.
As I was in the elevator, I glanced at a smallish monitor on the wall. The monitor was displaying a mixture of weather, factoids and advertisements. The thing that stuck in my head was the name of the company providing this service:
I thought, “Hmm, that corporate name is sort of cute, in a completely obnoxious way.”
They’re playing on the words “captive” and “captivate”.
First the definitions of each word, per the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary.
________________________________
captive
Pronunciation:
\ˈkap-tiv\
Function:
adjective
Etymology:
Middle English, from Latin captivus, from captus, past participle of capere
Date:
14th century
1 a: taken and held as or as if a prisoner of war b (1): kept within bounds : confined (2): of or relating to captive animals
2: held under control of another but having the appearance of independence; especially : owned or controlled by another concern and operated for its needs rather than for an open market
3: being such involuntarily because of a situation that makes free choice or departure difficult
captivate
Pronunciation:
\ˈkap-tə-ˌvāt\
Function:
transitive verb
Date:
circa 1555
1 archaic : seize, capture
2: to influence and dominate by some special charm, art, or trait and with an irresistible appeal
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The name of this corporate entity is essentially a wink at the fact that its advertisements are directed at people who cannot go anywhere, who are essentially trapped, imprisoned, immobilized in a small box with nothing to look at. Or maybe the content on their monitors really does have “irresistible appeal”. But I’m not buying that.
From their website:
Day in and day out, Captivate gives you a one-of-a-kind opportunity to repeatedly reach your target audience during the business day. Our national network delivers more than 54.5 million monthly impressions to more than 2.5 million educated, motivated professionals in North America’s largest markets.
Because we deliver your message to a captive audience in a focused, distraction-free environment, we have an average ad recall rate that exceeds that of most other media. We’re memorable and measurable – and consistently generate strong, tangible results on behalf of our clients. When it comes to keeping your story top of mind with your target customer, Captivate takes your marketing efforts to new heights.
What’s that? You say *you* want the Captivate Network experience? *You* want to be bombarded with some impressions?
Here you go!
Unconnected Tuesdays
Stoplight
Ice water
Attention: David Patrick Kelly
So, I bought two tickets to the Feelies’ July 1st show at the Hoboken, NJ bar Maxwell’s.
Both the July 1st and 2nd shows are sold out.
I was picking up the extra ticket for MizSplotchy. I had hoped my folks would have been able to babysit our three chilluns so we could jet up to Jersey for a couple days (they had been very gracious to take care of our kids during our trip to San Diego last fall).
Unfortunately, they have prior plans. Hey, I realize that’s a lot to ask of my folks, particularly with such short notice, but my desire to see the Feelies has blotted out my sensitivity to others’ schedules, emotions and plans.
Anyways, unless something unforeseen happens, chances are I’m going to be headed to Maxwell’s by myself. But, I will have an extra ticket that is already paid for.
David Patrick Kelly, my adopted actor, if you want to see a sold-out live show for the low cost of nothing, I have a ticket for you. I am serious. You don’t have to hang out with me or anything, just take the ticket with my compliments.
Hey, I’m not creepy or anything. I’m just a faceless person on the Internet offering you something. And what could go wrong with that?
Send me an email on the address listed on my profile if you are interested. I am fully licensed, bonded and insured to see concerts in the Tri-State area.
Love,
Splotchy