Notes On A Scandal


I recently read a post by Dale about Notes On A Scandal, which pushed me to finally get off my couch and then sit back down to watch it.

It was pretty good, but I had a couple thoughts during my viewing.

1. If you’re going to have a suspenseful film featuring two strong female leads with a lesbian component underlying their relationship, one of them at some point *has* to kill a guy by hitting him in the eye with a stiletto heel.

2. I don’t see how any self-respecting fan of Strangers With Candy can avoid wondering how this story would play with Amy Sedaris as Jerri Blank taking the Judi Dench role.

Meme Manners – Don’ts

Hi,

If you wish to start a meme, you really need to follow the Meme Guide to Manners ™.

Rule #1: Don’t include questions that people might be unwilling to answer.

Sample “Don’t” questions
1. What’s the strangest smell you have ever farted?
2. What’s your most embarrassing public moment — be specific.
3. Most disgusting habit?
4. Have you ever fled the scene of a crime?
5. What, exactly, IS your f*cking problem?

Moved To California


Everyone knows the phrase, jumped the shark, right?

Well, I have thought of an alternative to this phrase, and it is also from a 1970’s sitcom produced by Garry Marshall, Laverne & Shirley.

Now, the majority of visitors at Jumptheshark.com agree that the show really started sucking when they moved Laverne, Shirley and the gang from Milwaukee to California.

Then, I thought. How about this as an alternative phrase to “jumped the shark” — “moved to California”.

Here’s a sample of an exchange using this alternative catchphrase:

Person 1: Boy, E.R. really moved to California when they killed off Anthony Edwards.

Person 2: What do you mean? I think they have always shot E.R. in California, with only the occasional exteriors shot in Chicago.

Person 1: No, no, that’s not what I mean.

Blogging and the Wet Vac

This post comes to you courtesy of the fact that I am waiting for seepage to stop in my basement. Wet vac, take a break, wet vac, take a break.

I have learned a few things with this experience.

1. If you can you avoid it, don’t have living space in your basement.
2. If you’re buying a house from some shady Eastern Europeans, make sure it’s not during a drought.
3. They moved the cemetery but they didn’t move the bodies! THEY ONLY MOVED THE HEADSTONES!!!

Fun With Google


Performing a web search for symbols via Google, where nothing happens.
There are no results, not even an acknowledgment that you perfomed a search.

`
~
!
@
#
%
^
(
)

+
=

Symbol searches that return results.
_ (underscore)
&

Symbol searches that acknowledge you searched for it, but yielded no results.
*

It is YOUR responsibility dear reader, to further investigate the full gamut of ASCII symbols that I am too lazy to complete.

Don’t forget to retry all the symbols by searching on Google News, Google Blogs, and Chinese Google.

I want a double-spaced, heavily-footnoted report on my desk by tomorrow morning at the latest.

GO!

He Better Be Dead

This is old news, I know, but I saw Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room for the first time last night when it aired on PBS.

I had followed the Enron case, but there were things that I learned of that I hadn’t known. For example, Enron traders actually had some of their power plants shut down under various false pretenses during the rolling blackouts in California in order to artificially inflate the cost of electricity they were passing on to you, the consumer. They have some audio of traders patting themselves on the back and laughing — it’s really beyond my ability to comment on it, it’s so horrid.

This kind of crime just makes me boil with rage. Someday this kind of crap will hopefully be seen as just one notch above child molester. Maybe when we stop worshipping the almighty buck.

Misheard Lyrics, Vol 1

Often times I’ll mishear song lyrics and merrily sing the wrong words.

Even when I learn they aren’t the right words, it would take a nuclear bomb covered in salsa to get me to stop using the lyrics I first thought I heard.

So, here’s the first installment in a continuing series of lyrics that only exist in my head.

Moby – Natural Blues
What I Hear/Say
Oh no, trouble with God
Oh no, trouble with God

Actual lyrics
oh lordy, trouble so hard
oh lordy, trouble so hard

Harry Belafonte – The Banana Boat Song
What I Hear/Say
A beautiful bunch of ripe bananas
Highly deadly black tarantula

Actual lyrics
A beautiful bunch of ripe bananas
Hides the deadly black tarantula

Joyful Bubbles of Ordered Chaos

As I mentioned before, they are shooting a scene for the new Batman film The Dark Knight near where I work.

As I was hoofing it to Union Station to catch the train home yesterday evening, a police officer stopped me from my usual walking route on Canal Street. The Dark Knight production had a couple block radius cordoned off around the old Chicago Post Office. I was kind of irked by this as I would have to go out of my way to get to the train station and did not want to miss my train. As I walked up Clinton Street, I briefly looked down Van Buren to see what was going on. At that time a black helicopter whooshed off the ground into the sky from the corner of Canal and Van Buren. Cooooooool.

My annoyance was replaced with a “gee whiz” kind of feeling.

I have worked on a couple movies before, as a production assistant, as an electrician, and once as a jack-of-all-trades on a low budget 16mm feature film I was doing with a friend of mine. There’s something really appealing about being a part of a film production, particularly when you are shooting “on location.” It’s like being part of this self-contained world which seems to defy the traditional conventions and logic of good ol’ fashioned reality.

One time I was working on a film where there was a dialogue scene in the middle of a cornfield. I was there for several hours as they were filming. There’s a lot of downtime as things are readied and perfected prior to them actually starting the cameras rolling, so I’m just standing there, thinking…
I am standing in a cornfield…
I am standing in a cornfield…
I am standing in a cornfield…

Something about that, that I was part of some beast that was, for its own reasons, hunkering down in a cornfield for a few hours, just struck me as really neat. I have felt the same way when I have been part of film shoots in businesses — offices, restaurants, bars, etc. Often times I have met the real owners and workers of establishments we are filming in, and I get a sense of excitement from them when we are there as well. I am possibly misinterpreting the excitement vibe I get (maybe they’re hoping being in a movie will help out with business, for example) but the way I think about it is someone you don’t know has entered your place of work and suggests everyone go out and play a spontaneous kickball game.

My film experience is pretty paltry compared to most people who make a career out of the movie business, but I did have something amusing happen to me that others might not regularly experience. The 16mm feature film I mentioned was all done in various locations around Chicago, and we didn’t have any permits to shoot anywhere. We were out on Columbus Drive near Buckingham Fountain shooting a scene where a character is on a pay phone. Across this big street was a large number of trucks, people, some police cars, etc. We eventually realized it was another film shoot, but not a dinky one like ours.

A production assistant (P.A.) from their crew yelled at us from across the street, “GET YOUR SHOT!” — as in finish up, you film hoboes, because WE are filming here.. We noticed a guy with a large rolled-up newspaper sticking out of his back pocket, and we realized it was Kyle Chandler, and the cast and crew was from the CBS show Early Edition, whose bubble we were bumping against. It would have been nice if the P.A. could have personally walked over and cut off our balls, but he probably was busy doing other things.

So, if you have an opportunity to be on a film, as an extra, etc., give it a try. It will be freaking boring and there will be lots of waiting, but you might catch some of this “joyful bubble” feeling. Just make sure you don’t set any buildings on fire.

jung vf fcybgpul?