IT’S TIME FOR ANOTHER ASK A BLOG POST

Provide your question(s) in the comments.

Manx asks:
Who do you think was a better french kisser? Gandhi, Lincoln or Mr. Rogers?

Lincoln. It’s not even close.

okjimm asks:
And if a Woodchuck could chuck Wood….What wood would Tiger Woods chuck on a long par 5, dogleg left?

2-wood.

Comrade Kevin asks:
HOW ANNOYING IS IT WHEN PEOPLE TYPE IN ALL CAPS OR WRITE LIKE IT’S SOME KIND OF TELEGRAM?

NOT THAT ANNOYING, SURPRISINGLY STOP AUNT BEATRICE SENDS HER REGARDS STOP SHE LIKES THE SWEATER YOU KNIT HER STOP WRITE BACK SOON FULL STOP

It’s The Compulsive Collector In Me. I Cannot Stop.

***************

UPDATE:

I’m convinced there is some asshole web programmer uploading a constant stream of people not looking at computer screens, in order to torment me.

Yes, I just saw ANOTHER ad. NO MORE, I say. No more.

As Captain Picard once shouted, “The line must be drawn…. HERE!”

***************

This guy is looking at his computer, but it’s not a real computer.

Name That Face: Round 1 Prizes

UPDATE:

The winners have chosen their prizes.

@debenham gets the Mr. T rubber stamp!
@johndstearns gets the crab robot!
@ajonathancox gets the autographed 8×10 of Jim Belushi!
@SamuraiFrog gets the DVD of On The Right Track!
@keithwade gets the Hitchcock Truffaut book!

Winners, please email me at the address listed on my profile to tell me where to send your well-earned booty.

Thanks!

****************

Hi,

So, the first round of Name That Face has been up and running for a while, but as June ends, so too shall Round 1.

The five highest point-earners will be awarded prizes. I thought of what I think is a neat way of giving the prizes out.

The highest point-earner gets to choose a prize out of the five available. The next highest point-winner will choose from the four remaining prizes, and so on, until the fifth highest point-winner hopefully likes whatever crap the other four people didn’t want.

Anyways, here are the prizes for Round 1, in no particular order.

A DVD of the famous Gary-Coleman-lives-in-a-train-locker dramedy On The Right Track! I saw this about a bejillion times when I was a kid, and imagine it still retains the whimsy I faintly remember.

A signed 8×10 of Jim Belushi! It has a few scuff marks, which you might be able to see from the scan. Note: I did not personally obtain this autograph — I bought it at a collectible store near my house. I’m wagering it’s authentic, as I do not know why someone would attempt to fake a Jim Belushi signature.

A wonderful book, consisting of interviews of Alfred Hitchcock conducted by fellow director François Truffaut.

A crab robot. It’s pretty cool. What does it have to do with faces? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Cut out all the paperwork jibber-jabber with this stylish Mr. T rubber stamp!

I’ll probably take a break (and give Twitter followers a little break as well) for a week or so after Round 1, then I guess I’ll crank up Round 2. I was planning on resetting everyone’s points back to zero for the next round to even the playing field. I’ll still keep the tally of Round 1 for posterity’s sake (assuming that anything related to Twitter should have posterity).

Okay, thanks a lot for playing.

P.S. For people unable to get into the top five, I do have web-based complimentary awards that are available for the taking.

Minutemen Song Titles That Would Also Function Quite Nicely As Blog Post Titles

01. Shit From an Old Notebook
02. Do You Want New Wave or Do You Want the Truth?
03. Dreams are Free, Motherfucker!
04. Bob Dylan Wrote Propaganda Songs
05. I Felt Like A Gringo
06. Political Song For Michael Jackson To Sing
07. Maybe Partying Will Help
08. Shit You Hear at Parties
09. The Big Blast for Youth
10. Life As a Rehearsal
11. This Ain’t No Picnic
12. Joe McCarthy’s Ghost
13. History Lesson
14. God Bows To Math
15. There Ain’t Shit on T.V. Tonight
16. The World According to Nouns
17. Storm in My House
18. Jesus and Tequila
19. Anxious Mo-Fo
20. It’s Expected I’m Gone

jung vf fcybgpul?