{"id":1030,"date":"2008-04-13T04:33:00","date_gmt":"2008-04-13T04:33:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/?p=1030"},"modified":"2013-05-04T01:42:22","modified_gmt":"2013-05-04T01:42:22","slug":"juno-i-spent-3-50-to-see-this","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2008\/04\/juno-i-spent-3-50-to-see-this\/","title":{"rendered":"Juno I Spent $3.50 To See This"},"content":{"rendered":"

So this was my first trip back to the LaGrange since the ticket prices were raised a staggering seventy-five percent. Having only three single dollar bills in my wallet, I reached for quarters out of our change jar (okay, I had a twenty dollar bill too, but I didn’t want to break it).<\/p>\n

With the stakes raised so high now, what were my choices tonight?<\/p>\n

Untraceable<\/a> – Looks like another crappy torture porn movie. Plus, it wasn’t playing tonight at the 9:00pm show, because Theater 2 was featuring “Live Comedy”.<\/p>\n

The Bucket List<\/a> – You’re not expecting me to sit through this, are you?<\/p>\n

27 Dresses<\/a> – When I was contemplating seeing a movie last week, I would have chosen this over Untraceable — which honestly isn’t saying much.<\/p>\n

Juno<\/a> – Woo, an Oscar-winning “indie” comedy!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It was nothing but the best for Juno — Theater 1, in all its curvy splendor. Live Comedy had to suck it in Theater 2 tonight.<\/p>\n

So, I actually sat down for this movie with some trepidation. Was there a Diablo Cody backlash still in progress? Would I be another screeching voice in the anti-Diablo chorus if I criticized the movie? Or had the backlash recoiled already, and we were in the midst of a backlash to the backlash — a Diablo Cody resurgence, a Diablo Cody Renaissance?<\/p>\n

I didn’t know, but I felt like I should be sensitive about the crap I would be saying. Then several minutes into the movie, this line is uttered by a cashier played by Rainn Wilson:<\/p>\n

“This is one doodle that can’t be un-did, Homeskillet.”<\/p>\n

Thank you for this shitty line of dialogue, which completely absolves me of any snarky thing I spew about this movie.<\/p>\n

It’s not like the script was awful or anything. It just wasn’t good. The dialogue really ventured into overcutesy unrealistic pop culture nonsense from time to time. And there was a really terrible scene where Juno gets an ultrasound, where the technician makes some out-of-the-blue ridiculously offensive statements and Juno’s stepmother responds in an unrealistic diatribe that would never be uttered by a person on this planet.<\/p>\n

I’ll say that Diablo Cody deserved an Oscar for the screenplay in the same way that Crash<\/a> deserved its Best Picture Oscar a couple years ago. They both deserved the awards because the Oscars are in no way an indicator of excellence. I’m sorry if I’m being unfair to Crash — I did see only a few minutes of it, a horrendously acted scene between Brendan Fraser and Sandra Bullock. Perhaps all the other minutes of Crash were manna from heaven.<\/p>\n

Anyways, I’m happy to report that the screenplay, which again wasn’t awful, and which again wasn’t remotely good either, was not the most annoying thing about Juno.<\/p>\n

Oh lord, the music. The music wouldn’t stop. And they used so much music I liked. “I’m Sticking With You” by the Velvet Underground; The Kinks’ “A Well Respected Man”. They used some Belle and Sebastian songs, a Buddy Holly song, even an Antonio Carlos Jobim song. These songs were UNEARNED by the filmmakers. Because you have a boring movie where little happens does not give you the right to paste over every goddamn transition with a catchy song. You didn’t earn it. You didn’t EARN it.<\/p>\n

I was actually hostile to the lesser-known songs of Juno, just for the fact that I felt the songs that I *did* know were treated so shabbily. Now see what you did, Juno? You turned me against indie rock! For shame, Juno. For shame.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So this was my first trip back to the LaGrange since the ticket prices were raised a staggering seventy-five percent. Having only three single dollar bills in my wallet, I reached for quarters out of our change jar (okay, I had a twenty dollar bill too, but I didn’t want to break it). With the … Continue reading Juno I Spent $3.50 To See This<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[69,37],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1030","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-movies","category-two-buck-schmuck"],"yoast_head":"\nJuno I Spent $3.50 To See This - SPLOTCHY<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2008\/04\/juno-i-spent-3-50-to-see-this\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Juno I Spent $3.50 To See This - SPLOTCHY\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"So this was my first trip back to the LaGrange since the ticket prices were raised a staggering seventy-five percent. 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