{"id":1376,"date":"2007-11-06T14:43:00","date_gmt":"2007-11-06T14:43:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/?p=1376"},"modified":"2013-05-04T01:45:11","modified_gmt":"2013-05-04T01:45:11","slug":"congratulations-tim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2007\/11\/congratulations-tim\/","title":{"rendered":"Congratulations, Tim!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Note: This post has been guest-written by Steve Jobs.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Hello, important person and everyone else!<\/p>\n

Steve Jobs here!<\/p>\n

Congratulations to Tim<\/a> for becoming the proud new owner of the iSplotchy prototype<\/a>!<\/p>\n

Now that the bidding is over, I can finally reveal all that owning the iSplotchy prototype entails.<\/p>\n

Tim, by purchasing this item, you gain the following perks, powers and responsibilities.<\/p>\n

01. The power of flight
02. A one-record deal with Warner Brothers, working with producer Rick Rubin
03. An inspirational movie to be made of your life, starring Will Smith
04. Able to decide the correct pronunciation for fifteen words of your choice
05. Mad rhymin’ skillz
06. Must work five references to Pepsi-Cola products into your blog before the end of 2007
07. A personal Scottish dialect coach
08. All the allergy medicine you can carry
09. Diamond-encrusted socks
10. You are an important person, not like all the other yokels who didn’t win the iSplotchy<\/p>\n

Congratulations again!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Note: This post has been guest-written by Steve Jobs. Hello, important person and everyone else! Steve Jobs here! Congratulations to Tim for becoming the proud new owner of the iSplotchy prototype! Now that the bidding is over, I can finally reveal all that owning the iSplotchy prototype entails. Tim, by purchasing this item, you gain … Continue reading Congratulations, Tim!<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[145],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1376","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-isplotchy"],"yoast_head":"\nCongratulations, Tim! - SPLOTCHY<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2007\/11\/congratulations-tim\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Congratulations, Tim! - SPLOTCHY\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Note: This post has been guest-written by Steve Jobs. 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