{"id":1435,"date":"2007-10-18T20:50:00","date_gmt":"2007-10-18T20:50:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/?p=1435"},"modified":"2013-05-04T01:46:01","modified_gmt":"2013-05-04T01:46:01","slug":"finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2007\/10\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\/","title":{"rendered":"Finally, An Outlet For My Pent-Up Feelings Towards Joel Schumacher"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>
There aren’t many film directors out there that routinely provoke such a visceral reaction in me, but Joel Schumacher<\/a> is one of them.<\/p>\n

Let’s take a look back at a long, fruitful Hollywood career.<\/p>\n

\n

The Virginia Hill Story<\/a> (1974) (TV)
Didn’t see it.<\/p>\n

Amateur Night at the Dixie Bar and Grill<\/a> (1979) (TV)
Didn’t see it.<\/p>\n

The Incredible Shrinking Woman<\/a> (1981)
Lily Tomlin, right? I don’t remember it being bad, but I used to regularly watch game shows hosted by Wink Martindale around that time, so my tastes aren’t necessarily trustworthy. <\/p>\n

D.C. Cab<\/a> (1983)
This is the one with Mr. T, right? Didn’t see it.<\/p>\n

St. Elmo’s Fire<\/a> (1985)
Everything sucked except for the part when Rob Lowe was pretending to play the saxophone, which may be the funniest thing ever recorded on film.<\/p>\n

The Lost Boys<\/a> (1987)
Like a vampire, it sucked.<\/p>\n

Cousins<\/a> (1989)
This had Ted Danson, right? I’m guessing it probably sucked.<\/p>\n

Flatliners<\/a> (1990)
Sucked.<\/p>\n

Dying Young<\/a> (1991)
Didn’t see it, but am 90% sure it sucked.<\/p>\n

Falling Down<\/a> (1993)
Sucked!<\/p>\n

The Client<\/a> (1994)
I think I saw part of this. It sucked, if memory serves.<\/p>\n

Batman Forever<\/a> (1995)
This was the Val Kilmer one, I think. Oh yeah, with Jim Carrey butchering The Riddler (R.I.P. Frank Gorshin) and Tommy Lee Jones completely missing the point about Two-Face. I only saw bits and pieces of it, but it sucked worse than getting a long rod stuck into your urethra (and I speak from experience).<\/p>\n

A Time to Kill<\/a> (1996)
Didn’t see it, but it has Sandra Bullock in it, hence it sucks.<\/p>\n

Batman & Robin<\/a> (1997)
This was the George Clooney one, I believe. It sucked more than having a hot wire stuck into your urethra, but in this case, I can’t speak from experience.<\/p>\n

8MM<\/a> (1999)
Disgusting, misanthropic twaddle. And it sucked.<\/p>\n

Flawless<\/a> (1999)
I didn’t see this. It stars Philip Seymour Hoffman and Robert DeNiro. If any movie made by Joel Schumacher didn’t suck, this might be the one. But I doubt it. It probably sucks.<\/p>\n

Tigerland<\/a> (2000)
Didn’t see it. Don’t know anything about it. It probably sucks.<\/p>\n

Bad Company<\/a> (2002)
Wow, I forgot about this one. I caught ten minutes of it on cable. Boy, did it suck.<\/p>\n

Phone Booth<\/a> (2002)
An intriguing premise run through a suckifier.<\/p>\n

Veronica Guerin<\/a> (2003)
Didn’t see it.<\/p>\n

The Phantom of the Opera<\/a> (2004)
Didn’t see it. I’d wager a fiver it sucked hard.<\/p>\n

The Number 23<\/a> (2007)
Saw the trailer. It sucked.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There aren’t many film directors out there that routinely provoke such a visceral reaction in me, but Joel Schumacher is one of them. Let’s take a look back at a long, fruitful Hollywood career. The Virginia Hill Story (1974) (TV)Didn’t see it. Amateur Night at the Dixie Bar and Grill (1979) (TV)Didn’t see it. The … Continue reading Finally, An Outlet For My Pent-Up Feelings Towards Joel Schumacher<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[115,37],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1435","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-career-retrospectives","category-two-buck-schmuck"],"yoast_head":"\nFinally, An Outlet For My Pent-Up Feelings Towards Joel Schumacher - SPLOTCHY<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2007\/10\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Finally, An Outlet For My Pent-Up Feelings Towards Joel Schumacher - SPLOTCHY\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"There aren’t many film directors out there that routinely provoke such a visceral reaction in me, but Joel Schumacher is one of them. Let’s take a look back at a long, fruitful Hollywood career. The Virginia Hill Story (1974) (TV)Didn’t see it. Amateur Night at the Dixie Bar and Grill (1979) (TV)Didn’t see it. The … Continue reading Finally, An Outlet For My Pent-Up Feelings Towards Joel Schumacher →\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2007\/10\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"SPLOTCHY\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2007-10-18T20:50:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-05-04T01:46:01+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/splotchy.com\/images\/blog\/joelschumacher.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/isplotchy.com\\\/blog\\\/2007\\\/10\\\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/isplotchy.com\\\/blog\\\/2007\\\/10\\\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"\",\"@id\":\"\"},\"headline\":\"Finally, An Outlet For My Pent-Up Feelings Towards Joel Schumacher\",\"datePublished\":\"2007-10-18T20:50:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2013-05-04T01:46:01+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/isplotchy.com\\\/blog\\\/2007\\\/10\\\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":423,\"commentCount\":11,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/isplotchy.com\\\/blog\\\/2007\\\/10\\\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/isplotchy.com\\\/images\\\/blog\\\/joelschumacher.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"career retrospectives\",\"two buck schmuck\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/isplotchy.com\\\/blog\\\/2007\\\/10\\\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/isplotchy.com\\\/blog\\\/2007\\\/10\\\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/isplotchy.com\\\/blog\\\/2007\\\/10\\\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\\\/\",\"name\":\"Finally, An Outlet For My Pent-Up Feelings Towards Joel Schumacher - SPLOTCHY\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/isplotchy.com\\\/blog\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/isplotchy.com\\\/blog\\\/2007\\\/10\\\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/isplotchy.com\\\/blog\\\/2007\\\/10\\\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/isplotchy.com\\\/images\\\/blog\\\/joelschumacher.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2007-10-18T20:50:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2013-05-04T01:46:01+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/isplotchy.com\\\/blog\\\/2007\\\/10\\\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/isplotchy.com\\\/blog\\\/2007\\\/10\\\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/isplotchy.com\\\/blog\\\/2007\\\/10\\\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/isplotchy.com\\\/images\\\/blog\\\/joelschumacher.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/isplotchy.com\\\/images\\\/blog\\\/joelschumacher.jpg\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/isplotchy.com\\\/blog\\\/2007\\\/10\\\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/isplotchy.com\\\/blog\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Finally, An Outlet For My Pent-Up Feelings Towards Joel Schumacher\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/isplotchy.com\\\/blog\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/isplotchy.com\\\/blog\\\/\",\"name\":\"SPLOTCHY\",\"description\":\"jung vf fcybgpul?\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/isplotchy.com\\\/blog\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/isplotchy.com\\\/blog\\\/author\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Finally, An Outlet For My Pent-Up Feelings Towards Joel Schumacher - SPLOTCHY","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2007\/10\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Finally, An Outlet For My Pent-Up Feelings Towards Joel Schumacher - SPLOTCHY","og_description":"There aren’t many film directors out there that routinely provoke such a visceral reaction in me, but Joel Schumacher is one of them. Let’s take a look back at a long, fruitful Hollywood career. The Virginia Hill Story (1974) (TV)Didn’t see it. Amateur Night at the Dixie Bar and Grill (1979) (TV)Didn’t see it. The … Continue reading Finally, An Outlet For My Pent-Up Feelings Towards Joel Schumacher →","og_url":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2007\/10\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\/","og_site_name":"SPLOTCHY","article_published_time":"2007-10-18T20:50:00+00:00","article_modified_time":"2013-05-04T01:46:01+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"https:\/\/splotchy.com\/images\/blog\/joelschumacher.jpg","type":"","width":"","height":""}],"twitter_misc":{"Written by":"","Est. reading time":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2007\/10\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2007\/10\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\/"},"author":{"name":"","@id":""},"headline":"Finally, An Outlet For My Pent-Up Feelings Towards Joel Schumacher","datePublished":"2007-10-18T20:50:00+00:00","dateModified":"2013-05-04T01:46:01+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2007\/10\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\/"},"wordCount":423,"commentCount":11,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2007\/10\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/images\/blog\/joelschumacher.jpg","articleSection":["career retrospectives","two buck schmuck"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2007\/10\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2007\/10\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\/","url":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2007\/10\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\/","name":"Finally, An Outlet For My Pent-Up Feelings Towards Joel Schumacher - SPLOTCHY","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2007\/10\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2007\/10\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/images\/blog\/joelschumacher.jpg","datePublished":"2007-10-18T20:50:00+00:00","dateModified":"2013-05-04T01:46:01+00:00","author":{"@id":""},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2007\/10\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2007\/10\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2007\/10\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/images\/blog\/joelschumacher.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/images\/blog\/joelschumacher.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2007\/10\/finally-an-outlet-for-my-pent-up-feelings-towards-joel-schumacher\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Finally, An Outlet For My Pent-Up Feelings Towards Joel Schumacher"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/","name":"SPLOTCHY","description":"jung vf fcybgpul?","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"","url":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/author\/"}]}},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3gWlt-n9","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1435","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1435"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1435\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3521,"href":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1435\/revisions\/3521"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1435"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1435"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1435"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}