{"id":1513,"date":"2007-09-16T20:00:00","date_gmt":"2007-09-16T20:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/?p=1513"},"modified":"2013-05-04T01:46:52","modified_gmt":"2013-05-04T01:46:52","slug":"presenting-the-isplotchy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2007\/09\/presenting-the-isplotchy\/","title":{"rendered":"Presenting the iSplotchy"},"content":{"rendered":"

Note: This post has been guest-written by Steve Jobs.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am proud to have been given the opportunity, NAY! — the honor, to present the latest entry in technological devices that will change the landscape of human existence.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
The iSplotchy.<\/p>\n

A combination of concrete, steel and nanotechnology, the iSplotchy pushes the envelope in its enrichment of the everyday banal existence of the human race.<\/p>\n

To answer your first question, yes, of course it plays music.
\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The iSplotchy’s numerous concrete nanoridges are capable of storing over 17 terabytes of information.<\/p>\n

Numerous nanoports also allow for features hitherto unseen on technological devices available to the consumer.
\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

So you are thinking, of course I love to have fun, but where can I find a babysitter?<\/p>\n

With its 6 GHz tri-core processors, the iSplotchy is perfectly capable of acting as a caretaker for up to 5 children, with ages varying from infant to ten years old (note: iSplotchy does not change diapers).
\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The iSplotchy represents a cultural revolution in the making. Even before its official release, many websites and humorous memes have sprung up spontaneously to celebrate its inception.
\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

With a “brain” that far surpasses any organic entity on earth, its numerous features which have only begun to be discovered, this post regarding the iSplotchy is not just a product announcement. It is far more than that.<\/p>\n

The iSplotchy is running for the office of the President of these United States. America has done far worse. Now is the time for change. Time for the iSplotchy.
\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Note: This post has been guest-written by Steve Jobs. I am proud to have been given the opportunity, NAY! — the honor, to present the latest entry in technological devices that will change the landscape of human existence. The iSplotchy. A combination of concrete, steel and nanotechnology, the iSplotchy pushes the envelope in its enrichment … Continue reading Presenting the iSplotchy<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[145],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1513","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-isplotchy"],"yoast_head":"\nPresenting the iSplotchy - SPLOTCHY<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2007\/09\/presenting-the-isplotchy\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Presenting the iSplotchy - SPLOTCHY\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Note: This post has been guest-written by Steve Jobs. 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