{"id":165,"date":"2010-05-14T02:33:00","date_gmt":"2010-05-14T02:33:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/?p=165"},"modified":"2013-05-04T01:30:49","modified_gmt":"2013-05-04T01:30:49","slug":"im-gods-lonely-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2010\/05\/im-gods-lonely-man\/","title":{"rendered":"I&#8217;m God&#8217;s Lonely Man&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Oh fuck you, Twitter. <\/p>\n<p>Hey folks, are you like me?  Do you have natural defenses you carry around with you everyday, a &#8220;personality cushion&#8221; that protects the scared little child deep inside, that you use to interact with people in the cold, heartless outside world?  <\/p>\n<p>Does this cushion somehow not exist when you&#8217;re on the Internet? My cushion works like that (or rather, doesn&#8217;t work). My feelings can get very easily hurt.  It sucks.<\/p>\n<p>A couple people unfollowed me on Twitter recently. It bugged me.  I mean, it *really* fucking bugged me.  Why?  I don&#8217;t know. It&#8217;s like a form of rejection.  And the insidious thing is, you&#8217;re not notified that you&#8217;re being unfollowed.  Okay, maybe that&#8217;s good.  I don&#8217;t know. And I don&#8217;t know why they unfollowed me.  Was I too verbose?  Did I insult their sensibilities?  Was I too ethnic?<\/p>\n<p>Who the fuck knows.  Okay, I am a fucking pisser.  I unfollowed those fucking motherfuckers that unfollowed me.<\/p>\n<p>But it didn&#8217;t stop there.  I found a website, <a href=\"http:\/\/friendorfollow.com\/isplotchy\">Friend Or Follow<\/a>, whereby I could find out who I was following that wasn&#8217;t following me.<\/p>\n<p>Holy shit, there were a lot of people that *used* to follow me that had apparently stopped following me at some point.  THOSE FUCKERS.  THOSE DIRTY MOTHERFUCKERS.<\/p>\n<p>There are of course celebrities and such that aren&#8217;t going to follow you. That&#8217;s fine. And if I want to follow Harry Hamlin, I&#8217;m not expecting him to follow me.  But what about all the peons such as myself?  Well, to me there is an implied reciprocity.  I follow you, you follow me.  Simple.  But then you go and surreptitiously unfollow me?  Well, fuck you.<\/p>\n<p>I was following 220 people earlier today.  Now I am following 126.  Take it away, Travis&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>P.S. Um, there are a lot of people that are following me that I am not following back.  I&#8217;m working on rectifying that, okay?  SHEESH.<\/p>\n<p>P.P.S. I unfollowed Harry Hamlin.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Oh fuck you, Twitter. Hey folks, are you like me? Do you have natural defenses you carry around with you everyday, a &#8220;personality cushion&#8221; that protects the scared little child deep inside, that you use to interact with people in the cold, heartless outside world? Does this cushion somehow not exist when you&#8217;re on the &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2010\/05\/im-gods-lonely-man\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">I&#8217;m God&#8217;s Lonely Man&#8230;<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-165","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-twitter"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>I&#039;m God&#039;s Lonely Man... - SPLOTCHY<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2010\/05\/im-gods-lonely-man\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I&#039;m God&#039;s Lonely Man... - SPLOTCHY\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Oh fuck you, Twitter. Hey folks, are you like me? Do you have natural defenses you carry around with you everyday, a &#8220;personality cushion&#8221; that protects the scared little child deep inside, that you use to interact with people in the cold, heartless outside world? 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