{"id":1779,"date":"2007-06-18T18:06:00","date_gmt":"2007-06-18T18:06:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/?p=1779"},"modified":"2013-05-04T01:51:29","modified_gmt":"2013-05-04T01:51:29","slug":"get-off-your-ass-vol-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2007\/06\/get-off-your-ass-vol-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Get Off Your Ass, Vol 1"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hi, here’s an initial list of items, that, while I’ll probably never have the resources, desire or inclination to follow through on, doesn’t mean *you* shouldn’t.<\/p>\n

1. Candy Conspiracy Blog<\/span>
Create a blog which engages in careful, ongoing analysis of the conspiracy of the candy companies to gradually shrink the size of candy bars.<\/p>\n

I get angry whenever I pick up a Snickers or a bag of M&M’s, and it’s noticeably smaller than one I got several months prior.<\/p>\n

In the back of my mind, I’m always thinking, I am going to save this goddamn wrapper, so I have concrete proof of this maneuvering by these candy-pushers. Of course, I never save the wrapper.<\/p>\n

I know Andy Rooney has done this kind of thing with coffee, but screw him.<\/p>\n

2. Celebrity Hand Signs<\/span> – Start a blog devoted to pictures of celebrities giving hand signs — the peace sign, the devil sign<\/a>, the Latin Kings sign, etc.<\/p>\n

3. Far From The Madding Boobs<\/span>
Film a teenaged sex comedy where two horny adolescents addicted to Internet porn accidentally get sent back in time into the Victorian era, and spend most of their time trying to get a look at Victorian boobies. I mean, who doesn’t love Victorian boobies?<\/p>\n

4. Hail To The Beef<\/span>
Broadcast a reality show where the members of rock ‘n roll group Radiohead work at a Detroit McDonald’s. Wouldn’t you like Thom Yorke being harrassed about the amount of ice he put in a customer’s Diet Coke?<\/p>\n

5. pure joy<\/span>
A Feelies reunion already. C’mon.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi, here’s an initial list of items, that, while I’ll probably never have the resources, desire or inclination to follow through on, doesn’t mean *you* shouldn’t. 1. Candy Conspiracy BlogCreate a blog which engages in careful, ongoing analysis of the conspiracy of the candy companies to gradually shrink the size of candy bars. I get … Continue reading Get Off Your Ass, Vol 1<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[168],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1779","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-products-id-like-to-see"],"yoast_head":"\nGet Off Your Ass, Vol 1 - SPLOTCHY<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2007\/06\/get-off-your-ass-vol-1\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Get Off Your Ass, Vol 1 - SPLOTCHY\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Hi, here’s an initial list of items, that, while I’ll probably never have the resources, desire or inclination to follow through on, doesn’t mean *you* shouldn’t. 1. 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