{"id":4294,"date":"2013-05-21T23:55:57","date_gmt":"2013-05-22T04:55:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/?p=4294"},"modified":"2013-05-22T00:01:31","modified_gmt":"2013-05-22T05:01:31","slug":"by-the-playbook","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2013\/05\/by-the-playbook\/","title":{"rendered":"By The Playbook"},"content":{"rendered":"

Oh, hi. \u00a0It’s a movie review! I haven’t done one of these in a while. \u00a0In the movie reviews that I do from time to time, but haven’t done in a while, I go to a neighborhood, second-run theater and review something using a fair amount of smark. \u00a0Oh, I also include details not germane to the movie. \u00a0That’s a thing I do.<\/p>\n

For example, did you know my hairline is very oily right now? \u00a0Oh my God is it oily! \u00a0I don’t know why. \u00a0The weather’s been hot for a few days, after a long spell of colder spring weather. \u00a0Does the change in temperature make my hairline secrete oil? \u00a0Possibly! Please remember my oily hairline. \u00a0It will come back at the end of this review.<\/p>\n

ShesAllWrite<\/a> was very sleepy after a day of gardening and being pregnant, so I flew solo on this movie mission. \u00a0What were my choices?<\/p>\n

Oz the Great and Powerful<\/a><\/p>\n

It’s a movie directed by Sam Raimi. \u00a0It’s his first movie since the wonderful Drag Me To Hell<\/a>. This would be a good bet for me to see. \u00a0I didn’t see it!<\/p>\n

Pain & Gain<\/a><\/p>\n

People on the Twitter made jokes about this when it came out. \u00a0Who gives a shit! \u00a0(<—- an emphatic statement, not a question). \u00a0I don’t know anything about this movie.<\/p>\n

The Host<\/a><\/p>\n

I didn’t know anything about this, until I went to IMDB to copy the URL to paste above. \u00a0Oh, it’s that Stephanie Meyer Twilight author other movie thing or something. \u00a0It has no South Korean monsters or anything that I know of. \u00a0 Boooooooo!<\/p>\n

Which leaves me with:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Silver<\/a>
Meet Cute Probability Approaching 100%<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

Look at those two people \u00a0on the movie poster. \u00a0They’re pretty. \u00a0But they’re separated! \u00a0What’s going to happen? \u00a0Are the laws of romantic movies going to click and lock into place, sending them hurtling towards each other to form a composite face of blissful, Hollywood attractiveness? \u00a0Yep.<\/p>\n

Bradley Cooper’s character Pat has problems at the start. \u00a0He’s bipolar. \u00a0He’s getting out of a mental institution. \u00a0But don’t worry. \u00a0His mental condition will be fine. \u00a0He’s cute crazy, not oh-man-I-hope-he-is-okay troubled. \u00a0And Jennifer Lawrence’s wounded character will heal. \u00a0And the characters will embrace at the end, and everything is going to be alright.<\/p>\n

Is that so wrong? \u00a0I don’t know. \u00a0I don’t want it so easy.<\/p>\n

I like several of the films that director David O. Russell has made. \u00a0They are occasionally unpredictable, but you can see the happy ending of the movie in the movie poster, and that fact itself is kind of sad.<\/p>\n

After I got out of the movie I went to the bathroom. \u00a0I looked at my hairline — even oilier. \u00a0I popped a small pimple, left the theater, ran through the rain, got in my car and drove home, a little more bummed out than I was before.<\/p>\n

As I’m writing this, I’m listening to The Bats’ album Daddy’s Highway<\/a>. \u00a0ShesAllWrite is watching Party Monster<\/a> and Dylan McDermott’s in the movie and he’s wearing a goddamned eyepatch. And that makes me happier.<\/p>\n

Look at the low-res picture I found on the movie’s IMDB page. \u00a0I mean, come on, how does that not make someone happy?<\/p>\n

\"Party
EXCESS ALL AREAS<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 
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