{"id":444,"date":"2009-04-01T21:36:00","date_gmt":"2009-04-01T21:36:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/?p=444"},"modified":"2013-05-04T01:36:33","modified_gmt":"2013-05-04T01:36:33","slug":"internet-challenge-13","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2009\/04\/internet-challenge-13\/","title":{"rendered":"Internet Challenge #13"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hi!<\/p>\n

A new challenge.<\/p>\n

Find me the most banal possible Tweets<\/a> you can. I mean, I want them so dull that while I am reading them I will want to stab my leg with a fork to make sure I am still alive.<\/p>\n

They can be celebrity Tweets. They can be non-celebrity Tweets. I will want you to provide the direct link to the Tweet, not just the text of it. For people who think everything about Twitter is banal, this link<\/a> may change your mind.<\/p>\n

Not valid:<\/span> Tweets by people pretending to be celebrities are not acceptable. I still feel burned for laughing at (fake) Henry Rollins for folding clothes on his bed<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Also not valid:<\/span> Tweets by me<\/a> — besides, my Tweets are gripping, eloquent and have flowing hair like Fabio. How could I possibly bore you? That’s not an Internet Challenge question — that was rhetorical.<\/p>\n

Only 3 Tweets per contestant, please. One IC point per Tweet, if I deem it suitably banal.<\/p>\n

First contestant with valid entry\/entries gets an extra sparkly IC point.<\/p>\n

I’m picking up the award for 1st place in IC points tonight. I’m spending CASH MONEY for it. I have decided the top 3 point-earners are going to win prizes.<\/p>\n

So what are you waiting for?<\/p>\n

YOU WANNA PRIZE YOU GOTTA MOVE YOUR THIGHS\u2122<\/p>\n

UPDATE:<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The Imaginary Reviewer scores 2 IC points for being the first with a dull tweet, appropriately enough from Twitter user dulltweets<\/a>:
“Wanted to go comb my hair so I picked up a comb. Then I changed my mind so I put it down again.”<\/span><\/p>\n

I imagine this Twitter user might have been trying to be dull, but I did not indicate that dullness had to be unintentional for this challenge.<\/p>\n

Flannery Alden scores 2 IC points as well for these two “celebrity” Tweets:
First MC Hammer<\/a>:
“Good Morning (PST)… have a great day !!! breakfast.. Time for the fish oil, protein, fruits and veg powder, glucosamine and I’m out !!!”<\/span><\/p>\n

Just curious, was the timezone really necessary?<\/p>\n

Dave Matthews<\/a>
“I don’t have a problem with traffic. I like it sometimes.”<\/span><\/p>\n

This can’t really be him, can it? I find it hard to believe that anyone<\/span> would unironically say this. If this Twitter account is really used by Dave Matthews, I look forward to the inevitable Tweet:<\/p>\n

“I don’t have a problem dumping shit on people taking boat tours<\/a>. I like it sometimes.”<\/p>\n

Flannery, I couldn’t count the Jeff Ashcroft Tweet — cheesy yes, but not banal enough.<\/p>\n

Jin provided a series of Tweets. I have whittled them down to two for 2 more IC points.<\/p>\n

joeva25<\/a>
“lets roll tar heels get it going early and often and bring home a title”<\/span><\/p>\n

This might not be so banal if I liked sports, but I don’t like sports.<\/p>\n

Surferdan7771<\/a>
“what happened to dakota”<\/span><\/p>\n

Couldn’t give you one for skycity96<\/a>, because I actually liked the accompanying pic in the Tweet.<\/p>\n

Couldn’t read AnnetteSmieja<\/a> Tweet — she has protected her updates, possibly to prevent being ridiculed on the Internet for her banality.<\/p>\n

I liked the Tweet of melahknee<\/a> — I might rip it off later.<\/p>\n

And, the Tweet of canuckuk<\/a> is funny if the “proof read” misspelling was intentional.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi! A new challenge. Find me the most banal possible Tweets you can. I mean, I want them so dull that while I am reading them I will want to stab my leg with a fork to make sure I am still alive. They can be celebrity Tweets. They can be non-celebrity Tweets. I will … Continue reading Internet Challenge #13<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[108,10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-444","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-internet-challenge","category-twitter"],"yoast_head":"\nInternet Challenge #13 - SPLOTCHY<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2009\/04\/internet-challenge-13\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Internet Challenge #13 - SPLOTCHY\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Hi! 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