{"id":453,"date":"2009-03-30T04:08:00","date_gmt":"2009-03-30T04:08:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/?p=453"},"modified":"2013-05-04T01:36:36","modified_gmt":"2013-05-04T01:36:36","slug":"internet-challenge-9","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2009\/03\/internet-challenge-9\/","title":{"rendered":"Internet Challenge #9"},"content":{"rendered":"

Find me some awful fan fiction<\/a>!<\/p>\n

The worse, the better.<\/p>\n

I’ll be judging entries based on a variety of traits, including but not limited to:<\/p>\n

Grammar\/Spelling mistakes
Narrative logic problems
Inappropriate erotic subtext
Frequent use of sound effects
Purple prose
Retardedness<\/p>\n

If you submit a particularly bad entry, you may earn extra IC points.<\/p>\n

As with the other challenges, you can’t cook up one of your own pieces of fan fiction to submit — you have to find one already floating in the Internet, stinking up the place.<\/p>\n

UPDATE:<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Flannery Alden scores 2 points for being first, and finding Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy in a moment of tenderness:<\/p>\n

Harry Potter Erotica<\/a>
“No,” I edged my lips closer to his and gently kiss them, loving the taste of chocolate it possesses, probably from those chocolate frogs he loves and I felt him responding instinctively. Both of us pull away at the same time.<\/p>\n

“I’m sad and miserable because I think…I’m in…in… love with you,” the words came out in a rush from my mouth. His face contains shock and his stormy grey eyes ask me to repeat what I just said.<\/p>\n

“I’m in love with you although I shouldn’t be. You’re my best friend\u2019s enemy and so you are my enemy too,”<\/span><\/p>\n

Beckeye serves up a slab of:<\/p>\n

American Idol erotica<\/a>
\u201cJesus,\u201d David groaned, sinking his fingers deep into his friend’s soft black hair.<\/p>\n

Michael gripped David\u2019s ass as he fell into a rhythm, in and out, in and out, in and out. Faster and faster. Tighter and tighter. Until David couldn\u2019t think or breathe. He could barely stand. His whole body started to quake under the strain as he tried desperately to hold onto the moment.<\/p>\n

\u201cGod, Mike, I can\u2019t\u2026 God!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

SamuraiFrog dials into an interesting spin on Heroes. I am going to have give him an IC extra point for this entry’s ridiculously vile clunkiness (I didn’t know clunkiness could be ridiculously vile — thank you fan fiction!).<\/p>\n

Heroes Erotica<\/a>
Peter felt ashamed and dirty and excited when Nathan talked like that to him, and no matter what had happened between before Haiti and now, he had not forgotten: Nathan never failed to deliver when it came to their forbidden sexual relationship.<\/p>\n

And now Nathan was giving him Claire. The last piece of the puzzle to this unattainable incestuous love triangle that Peter had only even dreamed about. He had been in love with Claire since Odessa. His mother, Angela Petrelli, must have dreamed it, must have told Nathan, because he\u2019d never breathed a word of it to anyone. But he was still angry. Nathan shouldn\u2019t have had her first. Nathan didn\u2019t love her the way he did. If anything, she was Nathan\u2019s possession. Just like he had been. Just like you still are, Peter reminded himself.<\/p>\n

Peter felt that white hot anger churning in his belly, beneath the ache of his body\u2019s demand for release: the last time he\u2019d had sex was also with Nathan, before Haiti.<\/span><\/p>\n

Jin gives us a tender Gore V. Bush (the man, not the slang word for vagina) moment
Gore V. Bush<\/a>
\u201cWhatever. Smarty-pants. You\u2019re supposed to be helping me, here.\u201d George interjected. \u201cOffering bi-partisan support or whatever it is that you liberals do when you\u2019re not chaining yourself to trees and whatnot in protest of stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGeorge,\u201d the other man\u2019s voice was so cool, so measured, that it gave the President pause for a moment. \u201cYou are this close to getting the remainder of this now-cold latte poured down the front of your shirt.\u201d He smiled a smile that was anything but sweet, and severely lacking in his customary Southern charms. \u201cMake one more \u2018tree hugger\u2019 crack. I dare you.\u201d George promptly muttered something under his breath. \u201cWhat was that, dear? I didn\u2019t catch it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou look real handsome tonight,\u201d was George\u2019s offhanded reply. \u201cThat\u2019s all I said.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what I thought you said.\u201d Al said, not without triumph.<\/p>\n

The two meandered along, ducking a strand of crudely-hung, multicolored lights, and continuing on up between two long rows of tall, full Balsam firs. \u201cThis one\u2019s not bad.\u201d Al gestured to one of the tall evergreens. George wrinkled his nose.<\/span><\/p>\n

Jin, I kind of liked the Scooby Doo and Cthulhu piece — can’t give you a point for that one.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Find me some awful fan fiction! The worse, the better. I’ll be judging entries based on a variety of traits, including but not limited to: Grammar\/Spelling mistakesNarrative logic problemsInappropriate erotic subtextFrequent use of sound effectsPurple proseRetardedness If you submit a particularly bad entry, you may earn extra IC points. As with the other challenges, you … Continue reading Internet Challenge #9<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[108],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-453","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-internet-challenge"],"yoast_head":"\nInternet Challenge #9 - SPLOTCHY<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2009\/03\/internet-challenge-9\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Internet Challenge #9 - SPLOTCHY\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Find me some awful fan fiction! 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