{"id":4608,"date":"2016-02-17T01:05:17","date_gmt":"2016-02-17T07:05:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/?p=4608"},"modified":"2016-02-17T01:05:17","modified_gmt":"2016-02-17T07:05:17","slug":"the-hatful-eight","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2016\/02\/the-hatful-eight\/","title":{"rendered":"The Hatful Eight"},"content":{"rendered":"

So, I ventured forth tonight in search of popcorn, caffeine, and a movie.<\/p>\n

What were my choices at the lovely LaGrange Theater<\/a>?<\/p>\n

Star Wars: The Force Awakens<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"
LOOK AT ALL THAT MOTHERFUCKING LIGHTSABER ACTION<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Nah, didn’t want to see it. \u00a0I saw this already. \u00a0It was pretty good. \u00a0I didn’t mind it. \u00a0It was okay. \u00a0I was not offended or horrified. \u00a0It wasn’t bad.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Finest Hours<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"
LOOK AT ALL THAT MOTHERFUCKING STORM ACTION<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

No, don’t know much about it, didn’t really wanna see it. \u00a0Hey, Disney — Mark Wahlberg and John C. Reilly and George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg\u00a0called (Mark Wahlberg forgot he called the first time). \u00a0They want their mediocre storm movie from the 2000s\u00a0that I never saw back.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Big Short<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"
LOOK AT ALL THAT MOTHERFUCKING WHITE GUY ACTION<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

I will probably will see this, because Brad Pitt wears glasses and has a beard. \u00a0Plus, I hate greed and corporations. \u00a0And how interesting does Brad Pitt look, anyways? \u00a0He looks like he could teach an art class at a local community college. \u00a0Still, not going to see this movie today.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tonight,\u00a0I wanted to see a 3-hour movie that didn’t start until 9:00pm on a Tuesday evening. \u00a0Yes, I am talking about…<\/p>\n

THE HATEFUL EIGHT<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"
LOOK AT ALL THOSE MOTHERFUCKING PEOPLE BOXES IN THE LOWER FOURTH OF THE MOVIE POSTER<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

I thought there were a fair amount of hats in the movie, but not enough to warrant the title “Hatful”. \u00a0Still, I liked the subtle nod to the\u00a0Smiths record, as well as Kurt Russell’s character name Johnny Marr.<\/p>\n

Speaking of subtle nods, I counted some of them.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. The movie takes place in a cold, snowy, inhospitable environment, like John Carpenter’s The Thing.<\/li>\n
  2. The movie takes place with a reasonably large\u00a0group of people stuck together in a small, enclosed space, who increasingly distrust and suspect each other, like John Carpenter’s The Thing.<\/li>\n
  3. The movie prominently features Kurt Russell, the star of John Carpenter’s The Thing.<\/li>\n
  4. The movie’s soundtrack is written by Ennio Morricone, who composed the soundtrack for John Carpenter’s The Thing.<\/li>\n
  5. Part of the movie soundtrack was actually taken from an unused piece of the soundtrack to John Carpenter’s The Thing.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    No, I didn’t look up #5 on some trivia page on the IMDB. \u00a0I have the soundtrack to John Carpenter’s The Thing on COMPACT DISC. \u00a0I *RECOGNIZED* that song.<\/p>\n

    \"\"
    HOW MUCH MOTHERFUCKING MONEY DID I SPEND ON CDs BACK IN THE DAY? A FAIR AMOUNT OF MONEY.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

     <\/p>\n

    So, there are some hats in the movie. \u00a0And also, some hateful people. \u00a0I really don’t know how I’m supposed to have a lot of compassion or even interest for people that I find exceedingly unpleasant. \u00a0I didn’t really care about anyone. \u00a0Everyone was loud, annoying, and violent. \u00a0I imagine I would have a similar\u00a0experience if I ever took up Quentin Tarantino’s offer to play paintball with him and Eli Roth in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. \u00a0Not gonna happen, fellas.<\/p>\n

    This felt good. \u00a0I blogged. \u00a0I did it. \u00a0If you’ll allow me one humorous gif I did not create, hey, Immortan Joe, what did you think of this, the\u00a08th movie of Quentin Tarantino?<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    So, I ventured forth tonight in search of popcorn, caffeine, and a movie. What were my choices at the lovely LaGrange Theater? Star Wars: The Force Awakens Nah, didn’t want to see it. \u00a0I saw this already. \u00a0It was pretty good. \u00a0I didn’t mind it. \u00a0It was okay. \u00a0I was not offended or horrified. \u00a0It … Continue reading The Hatful Eight<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4611,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[37],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4608","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-two-buck-schmuck"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Hatful Eight - SPLOTCHY<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2016\/02\/the-hatful-eight\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Hatful Eight - SPLOTCHY\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"So, I ventured forth tonight in search of popcorn, caffeine, and a movie. 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