{"id":470,"date":"2009-03-20T19:31:00","date_gmt":"2009-03-20T19:31:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/?p=470"},"modified":"2013-05-04T01:36:37","modified_gmt":"2013-05-04T01:36:37","slug":"the-impossible-truth-behind-snake-plisskens-eyepatch","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2009\/03\/the-impossible-truth-behind-snake-plisskens-eyepatch\/","title":{"rendered":"The Impossible Truth Behind Snake Plissken’s Eyepatch"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Ladies and Gentlemen! Children and Literate Animals!<\/p>\n

Today, I draw your attention to a disease not often discussed – COMPULSIVE WINKING SYNDROME (CWS).<\/p>\n

CWS afflicts tens of Americans every year. It is a silent killer, or at the very least, a silent annoyance.<\/p>\n

Did you know that CWS caused the tragic suicide of Superman George Reeves? <\/p>\n

Look it up!
\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

How many times has CWS resulted in a dangerous misunderstanding?<\/p>\n

Ask former President George W. Bush!
\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

But now there is help. <\/p>\n

Man’s man Snake Plissken suffered just as the tens of you out there have suffered, until his years of sneering, tough comic book dialogue and intense studies resulted in the invention of the Snake Plissken Wink Concealer \u2122!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The Snake Plissken Wink Concealer \u2122!<\/p>\n

ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

P.S. Thanks to Piper<\/a> for this delightful meme, and to SamuraiFrog<\/a> for tagging me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ladies and Gentlemen! Children and Literate Animals! Today, I draw your attention to a disease not often discussed – COMPULSIVE WINKING SYNDROME (CWS). CWS afflicts tens of Americans every year. It is a silent killer, or at the very least, a silent annoyance. Did you know that CWS caused the tragic suicide of Superman George … Continue reading The Impossible Truth Behind Snake Plissken’s Eyepatch<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[79],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-470","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-meme"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Impossible Truth Behind Snake Plissken's Eyepatch - SPLOTCHY<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2009\/03\/the-impossible-truth-behind-snake-plisskens-eyepatch\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Impossible Truth Behind Snake Plissken's Eyepatch - SPLOTCHY\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Ladies and Gentlemen! 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