{"id":629,"date":"2008-11-20T17:08:00","date_gmt":"2008-11-20T17:08:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/?p=629"},"modified":"2013-05-04T01:38:43","modified_gmt":"2013-05-04T01:38:43","slug":"yes-google-how-may-i-help-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2008\/11\/yes-google-how-may-i-help-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Yes, Google, How May I Help You?"},"content":{"rendered":"

I am a stats whore. I look at my stats.<\/p>\n

This happens every once in a while.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I’m guessing it’s some spider bot that Google just sends a-wanderin’, and nobody at Google actually gives a damn about my blog.<\/p>\n

Or, I guess maybe they *do* care enough to send the spiders.<\/p>\n

I would just like to say that if it’s *me* sending spider robots, it won’t be because I like you — it will be because we are mortal enemies, and I will stop nothing until you are obliterated from this reality.<\/p>\n

SUCK ON THIS!
\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am a stats whore. I look at my stats. This happens every once in a while. I’m guessing it’s some spider bot that Google just sends a-wanderin’, and nobody at Google actually gives a damn about my blog. Or, I guess maybe they *do* care enough to send the spiders. I would just like … Continue reading Yes, Google, How May I Help You?<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[21,132],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-629","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-a-peek-into-the-exciting-life-of-splotchy","category-google"],"yoast_head":"\nYes, Google, How May I Help You? - SPLOTCHY<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2008\/11\/yes-google-how-may-i-help-you\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Yes, Google, How May I Help You? - SPLOTCHY\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I am a stats whore. 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