{"id":728,"date":"2008-09-23T18:36:00","date_gmt":"2008-09-23T18:36:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/?p=728"},"modified":"2013-05-04T01:39:53","modified_gmt":"2013-05-04T01:39:53","slug":"john-henry-was-a-giant-cheese-pizza","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2008\/09\/john-henry-was-a-giant-cheese-pizza\/","title":{"rendered":"John Henry Was A Giant Cheese Pizza"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>With apologies to Woody Guthrie, I have been finding myself making up verses to John Henry, sung passionately in the style of Mr. Guthrie. <\/p>\n<p>Yeah, I do this singing in public.  It helps pass the time, and scares passersby.<\/p>\n<p>If you would like to make your own verse to John Henry, please feel free to add it in the comments.  I&#8217;ll update with more verses as they pop up unannounced in my brain.<\/p>\n<p><span>Verse #1<\/span><br \/>John Henry was a giant cheese pizza<br \/>A giant cheese pizza was he<br \/>He didn&#8217;t like to return any of his calls<br \/>And he claimed to have invented TV (oh Lord)<br \/>He claimed to have invented TV.<\/p>\n<p><span>Verse #2<\/span><br \/>John Henry had an outboard motor<br \/>And a masters in philosophy<br \/>He would spend all day in his tub full of pudding<br \/>Badmouthing manatees (oh Lord)<br \/>Badmouthing manatees.<\/p>\n<p><span>Verse #3<\/span><br \/>John Henry was a perfumed waitress<br \/>Who&#8217;d bring you extra marmalade<br \/>But if you didn&#8217;t tip, he&#8217;d a-hit you with his wig<br \/>And throw you in the cold stockade (oh Lord)<br \/>He&#8217;d throw you in the cold stockade<\/p>\n<p><span>Verse #4<\/span><br \/>John Henry had a plastic raven<br \/>He washed it with powdered soap<br \/>He would walk down the street with that raven on his arm<br \/>Filling all the people with hope (oh Lord)<br \/>Filling all those people with hope.<\/p>\n<p><span>Verse #5<\/span><br \/>John Henry&#8217;s pa was a garbanzo<br \/>His ma was a rehydrated pea<br \/>They met on the floor of a diner<br \/>And were joined in holy matrimony (oh Lord)<br \/>Joined in holy matrimony<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>With apologies to Woody Guthrie, I have been finding myself making up verses to John Henry, sung passionately in the style of Mr. Guthrie. Yeah, I do this singing in public. It helps pass the time, and scares passersby. If you would like to make your own verse to John Henry, please feel free to &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2008\/09\/john-henry-was-a-giant-cheese-pizza\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">John Henry Was A Giant Cheese Pizza<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[141],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-728","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-weirder-than-harrison-ford"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>John Henry Was A Giant Cheese Pizza - SPLOTCHY<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2008\/09\/john-henry-was-a-giant-cheese-pizza\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"John Henry Was A Giant Cheese Pizza - SPLOTCHY\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"With apologies to Woody Guthrie, I have been finding myself making up verses to John Henry, sung passionately in the style of Mr. Guthrie. 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