{"id":88,"date":"2011-03-07T19:28:00","date_gmt":"2011-03-07T19:28:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/?p=88"},"modified":"2013-05-04T01:28:50","modified_gmt":"2013-05-04T01:28:50","slug":"joke","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2011\/03\/joke\/","title":{"rendered":"Joke"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A CEO, a Tea Party member, and a union member are sitting at a table. There is a plate with a dozen cookies in the center of the table.<\/p>\n<p>The CEO grabs 11 of them and says to the Tea Party member, \u201cThe union guy is trying to steal your cookie.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The union guy and the Tea Party member look at each other, nod knowingly, then grab the CEO by the neck, decapitate him, kick his head around the room until his face is no longer recognizable, stomp on his body, reattach the now hideously deformed melon-head to his bruised, broken body with staples and duct tape, build a rocket, stuff the CEO&#8217;s carcass in the rocket, launch the rocket into outer space, build another rocket armed with a bomb filled with feces and vomit, launch that rocket to intercept the first rocket, remotely detonate the feces\/vomit bomb to explode the CEO carcass rocket, sending its horrifically desecrated contents straight for the sun to be burned up into nothingness.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A CEO, a Tea Party member, and a union member are sitting at a table. There is a plate with a dozen cookies in the center of the table. The CEO grabs 11 of them and says to the Tea Party member, \u201cThe union guy is trying to steal your cookie.\u201d The union guy and &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2011\/03\/joke\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Joke<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-88","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Joke - SPLOTCHY<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2011\/03\/joke\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Joke - SPLOTCHY\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A CEO, a Tea Party member, and a union member are sitting at a table. 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