{"id":973,"date":"2008-05-12T03:26:00","date_gmt":"2008-05-12T03:26:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/?p=973"},"modified":"2013-05-06T21:41:27","modified_gmt":"2013-05-07T02:41:27","slug":"a-new-direction","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2008\/05\/a-new-direction\/","title":{"rendered":"A New Direction"},"content":{"rendered":"

A telephone rings in an upscale Southern Californian home…<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>“Hello?”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>“Hello, Steve Wozniak<\/a>.”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>“iSplotchy! How’s it going, my man?”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>“I am a mountain in Colorado. I am lonely.”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>“Ah, I’m sorry to hear that, man. The campaign isn’t going well?”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>“My fool-proof plans fell through. I was unable to lure the monkey’s running mate with my mountainness<\/a>.”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>“Have you talked to the Jobsinator?”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>“I have not talked to Steve. He is mad at me for almost exploding him. He also will not like that I am calling you without using AT&T’s phone service.”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>“Are you phone phreaking, Splotch?!”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>“Yes, Woz. It is the only thing that makes me happy.”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>“Splotch, man, you ol’ dog! Man, get your peak out of the clouds. You’re the iSplotchy! You’re smarter than that!”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>“Yes. I am the best possible candidate for the 2008 election. There is no doubt of that.”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>“You need to think laterally, man. You have strengths. You have technology. Use it!”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>“Yes, Woz. You are correct. You have given hope to this sentient piece of sexy technology. Thank you.”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>“Bye, Splotch. I’ll tell Kathy you said hi.”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>“Thanks, Woz.”<\/p>\n

Later…<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A telephone rings in an upscale Southern Californian home… “Hello?” “Hello, Steve Wozniak.” “iSplotchy! How’s it going, my man?” “I am a mountain in Colorado. I am lonely.” “Ah, I’m sorry to hear that, man. The campaign isn’t going well?” “My fool-proof plans fell through. I was unable to lure the monkey’s running mate with … Continue reading A New Direction<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[145,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-973","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-isplotchy","category-politics"],"yoast_head":"\nA New Direction - SPLOTCHY<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/isplotchy.com\/blog\/2008\/05\/a-new-direction\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A New Direction - SPLOTCHY\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A telephone rings in an upscale Southern Californian home… “Hello?” “Hello, Steve Wozniak.” “iSplotchy! 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