What's the action movie that's got no action?

SHAFT!

What's the lamest remake in a long, long while?

SHAFT!

They say director John Singleton is one bad mutha-

SHUT YO MOUTH!

But I'm talkin about Shaft!

WE CAN DIG IT!

Folks, if you know what's good for you, STAY AWAY FROM THIS MOVIE.

This film is absolutely boring, another piece of dreck from lame-o director John Singleton (Boyz in the Hood, Higher Learning, Poetic Justice, etc. etc. etc.).

This film is badly written. Nothing ever happens! Can we get some sort of interesting thing happening? Could Samuel Jackson do something interesting other than have a bald head? Would that be too much to ask?

You get the cop who breaks the rules and does it his own way, the obligatory corrupt cops, the cop - getting - shot - and - killed - but - not - really - because - she - is - wearing - a - bulletproof - vest, OH MAMA this film was boring.

The only spice in this stale ricecake of a movie is the character Peoples Hernandez, a Puerto Rican druglord played by Jeffrey Wright (the star of Basquiat). Whenever Wright was onscreen the film was at least somewhat interesting. His character seemed to actually experience a variety of emotions during the film and was able to express these emotions in a convincing manner!

As for all the other relatively talented people associated with this project -- Jackson, Dan Hedaya, Busta Rhymes (who frankly has acted better in his soda pop commercials) -- shame on you. Shame, shame, shame.

See you at the movies. Save me the unstained seat.